Does Santa need to go on a diet

Yesterday’s blog post brought about a flurry of comments.  As it turns out I forgot I few things.  Since there’s no time like the present, let me put the spotlight on some of the comments.

Andrea said …

“McColl is just another author trying to sell books.  She’s desperate and she knows that creating a controversy will give her her five minutes of fame.  She’s a nut job.”   

(There were more emails to that effect, stating that McColl is simply seeking publicity)

Linda said …

“I always question the motives of these do-gooders.  What alternative motive do they have?  Nobody does something for nothing.”

Michael said …

“If a smoking Santa sets a bad example for kids, so does his body.  Santa is morbidly obese and needs to go on a diet.  His weight sets a bad example for the kids.  Perhaps kids should stop setting out milk and cookies and give him something healthy to snack on.”

Erik said …

“All things considered, Santa is breaking the law.  He’s breaking and entering.  Is this what we want to teach our kids?  That’s it’s okay to go into other people’s houses at night.”

Monica said …

“The whole Santa thing is against my beliefs.  We teach our children that love can’t be bought, but Santa is doing just that.  If he didn’t bring gifts, would kids still love him as much?”

Madeleine said …

“I have three kids and I can’t afford presents for all of them.  Last year each had to make do with a scarf.  When they saw what other kids got, they asked me if Santa didn’t love them.  When I said that of course he did, they asked why he didn’t bring them nice presents.”

Andrea said …

“If we want to set a good example for children, we should look at the fairy tales.  If parents today are complaining about violence on TV and the effect this has on younger viewers, what about Snow white, Cinderella, Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel.”

I guess it’s true, the old fairy tales are filled with violence.

Snow white casts a bad light on stepmothers.  The stepmother orders the huntsman to find Snow white and cut out her heart.  When this fails, the stepmother poisons an apple and has Snow white eating it.  She is committing murder.

In Cinderella we not only meet an evil stepmother but two evil stepsisters.  Cinderella is forced into child labor and the whole story is filled with nothing but lies and deceit.

In Red Riding Hood children encounter murder.  Remember the wolf eating Red Riding Hood and her grandmother? If memory serves me correctly, in the end a huntsman kills the wolf which set the grandmother and Red Riding Hood free, which reflects animal cruelty.

In Rapunzel we encounter abduction and a child being locked away in a tower.

The cartoons kids watch don’t set a good example either.

Think of the Roadrunner … how many times has he wolf attempted to kill the Roadrunner?  He’s tried shooting him, squashing him under rocks, blowing him up with dynamite and a series of other ways.

Perhaps McColl has something to say about that too.

Fact is, no matter how much certain mothers try to blame TV for violence, that theory doesn’t hold water.  Millions of kids grew up listening to fairy tales and watching cartoons.  Most of them turned out to be upstanding adults.  Sure, there are a few bad apples, but is that any reason to deprive kids from their favorite entertainment?

McColl and other women with similar notions should take a good look at themselves.  Could it be that, because their life is miserable they can’t rest until they’ve spoiled things for a few others?

Santa can no longer smoke his pipe

I noticed an article this morning that right away put my teeth on edge.  The smokers are being attacked again, this time by Pamela McColl.

"What was her explanation for the publishing of a new version?  According to a Telegraph article , she is quoted as saying, “I just really don’t think Santa should be smoking in the 21st century. Santa is the most powerful character in the world. "

McColl’s father died in a fire, apparently caused by smoking in bed.  Now she’s made it her mission to join the ranks of smokers haters. 

McColl couldn’t sleep at night until she accomplished one thing … changing the line in a Christmas song “The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth / and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath”. It was too much for her, she couldn’t make peace that Santa smokes and thought this was a bad example for kids.

This let me frown on more than one level.  Does McColl believe in Santa?  Perhaps she hasn’t heard the news, but Santa doesn’t exist, he is an imaginary figure.

If he exists, than he is thousands of years old.  Who (smokers or non-smoker) can say as much?

Children who believe in Santa don’t smoke.  Any normal child only believes in Santa until the age of 5 or 6 and then one way or another the mystery is revealed.

By the time they are ready to make the choice whether to smoke or not, they no longer believe in Santa, so what difference does it make whether Santa smokes or not?

But let’s leave smoking out of the picture for a second.  Let’s look at what else McColl should be interested in.

As we all know, North American children are not just fat, they are obese.  Should Santa advertise junk food McColl?

With alcohol being the leading cause of accidents and spousal abuse, should Santa advertise alcohol?

What about this Santa, this not only looks like indecent exposure, it looks like plain bad behavior.

What about this Santa … that looks like marijuana to me.

How does Santa feel about the sport of ice skating?

 How does he feel about men going to the gym?

And what about this Santa, McColl, what is he up to?

This anti-smoking campaign is getting more ridiculous by the minute.  Perhaps McColl should learn a lesson from the sun and the wind.

Have you heard about the bet the sun made with the wind?

The wind said “I bet I can make that man take off his coat.”

The sun said “I accept that bet.”

The wind blew as hard as he could, but the harder the wind blew, the tighter the man held on to his coat.  Then the sun came out and the man took off his coat.

If McColl doesn’t understand the bet (after she must be of limited intelligence if she still believes in Santa as a grown woman) she can contact me and I will explain it to her.

http://www.forces.org/evidence/index.htm

http://www.rogerwallace.com/smoking.html

http://www.smokersclubinc.com/

PMF Scam - Update

If you read yesterday’s post about the Princess Margaret Foundation scam, you might have come to the conclusion that I’m puzzled by the way they handle their money.

To get clarity, I wrote to them and ask them for an explanation.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I had a look at the sweepstakes and when I add all prizes together I come to about 10 million dollars.

Wouldn't it be better to invest that money into healthcare instead of all those items?

How can you afford all those houses, cars, vacations and electronics?

I'm looking forward to your answer,

Conny

This morning I found a reply …

Hello, Conny, and thank you for your note.

This is a long-standing debate. The problem is, without the prizing, especially the largest of the prizes, the lottery doesn’t hold the same cachet. It would be all but impossible to have people pay $100 (or any sizable amount of money) for a ticket without offering something very substantial in return. The homes, cars and trips provide dreams for ticket buyers, but these dreams fund essential cancer research work at The Princess Margaret in turn. And we need the lottery proceeds because they are the single largest source of funding, outside the government funding, that the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre receives. Since the first Princess Margaret lottery was presented in 1996, more than $227 million has been raised for cancer research programs at The Princess Margaret Cancer Centre. We wouldn’t have had that source of revenue without the lotteries.

I hope you better understand why we hold the lotteries and why we offer such wonderful prizes.

Respectfully,

Kevin Shea

The Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation

This fund raising still doesn’t make any sense to me.  Do people really need a reward to find a cure for cancer?  Isn’t healing (and subsequent living) enough?

The Cancer Society was founded in 1913 by 15 doctors and businessmen.  So they’ve been in operation for 99 years.  Although progress in the diagnosis and treatment of certain cancers has been made, cancer is still a dirty word that for a lot of people sounds like a death sentence.

In comparison, vaccines have been formulated for viral and bacterial diseases.  Nearly all these vaccines were formulated quite some time ago, without the use of computers and with limited funds.  So why is it, that with all our technology no more cures our found. 

One cure our brilliant scientists did find.  The cure for erectile dysfunction (Viagra) and it only took them 13 years. 

When can we expect a cure for cancer?  My guess is never. 

Imagine if you will that a cure was found.  No more donations for the Cancer Society, Princess Margaret Foundation and a list of other cancer related organizations.  No more cancer related doctors and nurses, no more machinery and oh dear, no more drugs.  That translates into a loss of not millions but of billions of dollars.

For the longest time I thought I was the only one being skeptical about the use of all those donations, but after talking to quite a few people, it turns out I am far from the only one.  All kinds of people are more than a little suspicious of cancer “research”.

In general they all agreed, cancer is not just an illness, it’s a business.

Are people really spending $100 on a ticket for the Princess Margaret Foundation?  They bitch and whine about the gas prices; they switch to LED lights to save electricity; they go to the store with coupons; they complain about unemployment after the recession; there’s all kinds of advice on frugal living.  In short … do you really see these people throw away $100 on a ticket that might or might not win?

And speaking of winning … where is last year’s list of winners?  Who won the houses and the cars?  Were they won?

The Princess Margaret Foundation Scam

It’s that time of the year again … the Princess Margaret Foundation is pulling the wool over your eyes.

The usual slogan is “Help Conquer Cancer” and they want you to contribute to their scam by buying a ticket.  To make the deal a little sweeter, they promise a series of prizes.  Million dollar homes, sports cars, vacations, etc.

Of course, the prizes are reserved for the already rich.  Think about it … who can afford to drive a $229,825 Ferrari or a Porsche 911 valued at 130,940?  Do you have any idea of the taxes and insurance on those cars?  

As for the homes, lets see:

A condo valued at $379,000

Oakville home: $4,300,000

Muskoka cottage: $1,200,000

In addition one can win seven vacations, ranging from $2,000  to $7,000

And there are the electronics:

3 – Apple MacBook Air Laptops
Valued at $1,132.09^††

10 – Sony Tablets
Valued at $451.99^††

95 – Apple TV Devices
Valued at $124.29^††

1,500 – Nikon Digital Cameras
Valued at $112.99^††

2,920 – Sony Noise-cancelling Headphones
Valued at $90.39^††

Above prizes supplied by Henry’s

3 – Samsung 55" LED 3D TVs
Valued at $3,135.74^††

25 – LG 32" LCD TVs
Valued at $593.24^††

25 – Toshiba 19" LED TVs
Valued at $261.02^††

120 – Hamilton Beach Juice Extractors
Valued at $112.99^††

699 – Sony iPod Docks
Valued at $103.33^††

4,000 – Sony DVD Players
Valued at $80.73^††

Above prizes supplied by The Brick

1 – Apple iMac Computer
Valued at $1,368.42^††

15 – Apple iPad 3 Devices
Valued at $588.38^††

15 – Samsung Galaxy Tablets
Valued at $396.28^††

25 – Bose SoundDock Series II Digital Music Systems
Valued at $284.13^††

40 – Monster Beats Solo Headphones by Dr. Dre
Valued at $226.10^††

25 – Microsoft XBOX 360 Gaming Systems
Valued at $225.99^††

25 – Sony eReader
Valued at $169.60^††

100 – Apple iPod nanos
Valued at $146.99^††

5,200 – Apple iPod shuffles
Valued at $56.60^††

Above prizes supplied by Future Shop

1,800 – Cash Prizes of $100 each

With a rough estimate, I get to about $10,000,000.

How exactly does that benefit the cancer patients?  How can the Princess Margaret Foundation afford to throw 10 million dollars out the window?  Just how many tickets do they have to sell to make a profit?

Wouldn’t it be better to invest that 10 million in healthcare?

I personally know a woman who approached the foundation for a headscarf.  Not a fancy wig, just a scarf.  They foundation sent her packing and none to friendly either.

Or is this whole sweepstakes a fraud?  Do people buy tickets without getting anything in return? Is this just another scam?

Bowling update

It just occurred to me that I skipped last week’s bowling update.  Not to worry, you didn’t miss much.  We did okay, no highs, no lows, just an ordinary night of league bowling.

Last night on the other hand was a night with a difference.  We played Jessica, Mario and Kevin. 

Jessica is one of the better female bowlers, Mario I don’t really know, but Kevin I know all too well.  The man has bowled more 300 games than I have teeth in my mouth. 

Needless to say, we didn’t stand much of a chance, but I was determined not to make a fool of myself.  I was going to give it my best shot. 

And oh boy did I shoot.  I opened with a crow (that’s four strikes in a row).  This put confidence under my bowling wings and I took flight for the rest of the night.

Just take a look at the scores of The Expendables:

Dieter    : 164 – 174 – 182 – 212 =     Total: 732 – Average: 183

Christine: 159 – 228 – 184 – 234 =     Total: 805 – Average: 201

Conny   : 202 – 179 – 180 - 172 =     Total: 733 – Average: 183

Please note that I beat Dieter by one pin. 

All in all we (The Expendables) took 8,5 out of 16 points.  Not bad, considering I didn’t think we stood much of a chance.

Bowling against bowlers who are better than me is definitely paying off.  When I fear failing, I pay closer attention and stay more focused. 

While I’m all for having fun and horsing around, there are times that one has to concentrate on the game.  It also helps if lady luck along with the bowling gods are smiling down.

Does positive thinking work?

I got an email the other day from a friend who said that I should think positive.  She might not know it, but I’m the wrong person to say that to.

It’s not that I’m a pessimist, on the contrary, I do nothing but positive thinking, but the forces that be have other ideas.

Take work for instance.  There are times that I sent a resume merely hoping for the best, but other times I think “This has to be the one.  This has my name written all over it.”  The majority of those resumes remain unanswered.

Occasionally I get an interview and that’s when it gets tricky.  With some interviews, I just know that it was a waste of time, but every now and then the position I was interviewed for just fitted like a glove.  That’s when I really go off the rails, stating “This is it.  This has got to be it.”  And nothing.

Next up, lottery.  I play twice a week and I always think positive.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t play, right?  Every Friday and every Saturday I get excited, thinking that this is my lucky day.

Every time I dream of a luxury condo, with a Lamborghini in the garage, plenty of jewelry in the safe and pots of money in the bank. 

Not that I would forget my friends, I would share my good fortune.  Unfortunately for them and for me, the jackpot has eluded me.

Finally, bowling.  Whenever I head to the bowling alley, I feel full of beans.  At the start of every game, I fully intend to make a big fat 200.  (All bowlers dream of shooting a 300, but let’s keep it real).  Occasionally I do shoot a 200+, but only very occasionally and my score remains under 220.

So let nobody preach to me about thinking positive.  If my optimism followed me, I would have a well paying job, be able to quit that job because I would win the Lotto jackpot, and then have plenty of time to practice my bowling in pursuit of that elusive 300 game.

Selling books

I noticed a post on Facebook today that stated that for a literary agent to show an interest in a self-published book, the author should be able to present sales figures of around 20,000 copies.

I have news for that literary agent … if I can sell 20,000 copies of my books, I don’t need her services. 

Let’s face it, some books fly off the shelves, because of the name of the author while others gather dust because the author is a nobody.  Does that make the books of the big name authors any better … I doubt it.  I’m sure there are excellent self-published novels, while some stories of name authors never should have been printed.

Take J.K. Rowling latest effort for instance.  To say that it gets mixed reviews is putting it mildly.  Some critics rave about her writing abilities, others are less than enthused.  Fact is, A Casual Vacancy was a best seller before it was even available.  Proof that readers care about a name, not a story.

Personally I don’t put much stock in what critics have to say, I’d like to see for myself. 

On the one hand A Casual Vacancy is brilliantly written.  Rowling paints the picture of a cute little town and strips away all the veneer to show its inhabitants in all their disgusting glory.  The question is … do readers want to be confronted with such reality?

The story holds an “interesting” variety of characters, but there’s nothing likeable about them.  I don’t know about you, but if I don’t like certain characters I don’t care about  them, and if I don’t care about them why would I want to know what happens to them?  Why would I 

care about:

A heroin addict

A teenage town whore

Two perverted boys

A man who is abusive to his wife and children

A wife who is a doormat

In my opinion, if a nobody had written A Casual Vacancy, nobody would have shown any interest.  But because the book is of the hand of the great J.K. Rowling it turns into a bestseller. 

But back to self-published books.  What they mainly lack is good P.R.  If nobody knows about the book, how is it ever going to sell?  Robin mentions a few interesting strategies in her blog post http://robintidwell.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/selling-books/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook

  

Meetups, writers’ groups, book clubs, volunteer organizations. All of these are places to meet people, talk to people, and mention your book.

Good advice Robin, but who has that kind of time?  Most people have jobs and when they come home there cooking and cleaning to be done.

Send a review copy to your local stores. If they see it, in their hands, and look at it, they might take a chance on you.

Another good idea, but here’s the thing.  I did that and was greeted with a lot of enthusiasm, until the store owner found out that my book was self-published and suddenly I was cold product.

In suburbs where book stores are privately owned a self-published author might have a chance, but where I live (Toronto) the book industry is monopolized by Chapters Indigo and they won’t touch a self-published author with a ten foot pole.

Organizing book signings is a tricky situation.  Let’s say that an author does manage to get a signing, he needs to invest in a certain quantity of his work.  That requires not only financial resources but a car.  Have you ever tried to lug around + 50 books?  If they sell, great, if not you’re a few hundred dollars out of pocket.

It all comes down to money.  If you have money you can enlist the help of a P.R. firm, you can stock your own books and you can devote all your time to blowing your own horn.  If you don’t have money … well, you’re pretty much on your own.

Still, I’ll take some of your advice and I’ll let you know what happens.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/sep/27/jk-rowling-the-casual-vacancy-review-roundup