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Friday, November 2, 2012

Santa can no longer smoke his pipe

I noticed an article this morning that right away put my teeth on edge.  The smokers are being attacked again, this time by Pamela McColl.

"What was her explanation for the publishing of a new version?  According to a Telegraph article , she is quoted as saying, “I just really don’t think Santa should be smoking in the 21st century. Santa is the most powerful character in the world. "

McColl’s father died in a fire, apparently caused by smoking in bed.  Now she’s made it her mission to join the ranks of smokers haters. 

McColl couldn’t sleep at night until she accomplished one thing … changing the line in a Christmas song “The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth / and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath”. It was too much for her, she couldn’t make peace that Santa smokes and thought this was a bad example for kids.

This let me frown on more than one level.  Does McColl believe in Santa?  Perhaps she hasn’t heard the news, but Santa doesn’t exist, he is an imaginary figure.

If he exists, than he is thousands of years old.  Who (smokers or non-smoker) can say as much?

Children who believe in Santa don’t smoke.  Any normal child only believes in Santa until the age of 5 or 6 and then one way or another the mystery is revealed.

By the time they are ready to make the choice whether to smoke or not, they no longer believe in Santa, so what difference does it make whether Santa smokes or not?

But let’s leave smoking out of the picture for a second.  Let’s look at what else McColl should be interested in.

As we all know, North American children are not just fat, they are obese.  Should Santa advertise junk food McColl?

With alcohol being the leading cause of accidents and spousal abuse, should Santa advertise alcohol?

What about this Santa, this not only looks like indecent exposure, it looks like plain bad behavior.

What about this Santa … that looks like marijuana to me.

How does Santa feel about the sport of ice skating?

 How does he feel about men going to the gym?

And what about this Santa, McColl, what is he up to?

This anti-smoking campaign is getting more ridiculous by the minute.  Perhaps McColl should learn a lesson from the sun and the wind.
Have you heard about the bet the sun made with the wind?

The wind said “I bet I can make that man take off his coat.”
The sun said “I accept that bet.”
The wind blew as hard as he could, but the harder the wind blew, the tighter the man held on to his coat.  Then the sun came out and the man took off his coat.

If McColl doesn’t understand the bet (after she must be of limited intelligence if she still believes in Santa as a grown woman) she can contact me and I will explain it to her.

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