Day 54: Discrimination – Old vs. Young

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 54: Discrimination – Old vs. Young

An HR manager recently posted a message that he had hired a woman over 50 and had taken quite a bit of heat for it from the younger generation. There were a number of comments, I put in my two cents and commended him for his decision. I added that giving the choice between a 25-year-old and a 50-year-old, I would pick the 50-year-old every time.

Most young girls marry, start a family and go on maternity leave several times. Next, the kids get sick and mom has to take time off to look after them. With a 50-year-old, you avoid all that. Women that age are not only experienced, they have grown up children.

Well, when I said as much, I was severely criticized and insulted. It was even said that I discriminated against my own kind. Maybe that’s true, but I’m no stranger to discrimination myself. Over the years I’ve been discriminated against for being too tall, too thin, too young, too old, being from a foreign country, speaking with an accent … you name it, it’s been done.

If I’m partial to older women vs. the younger generation it has a reason, several reasons actually.

Take Tina for instance. Tina’s parents spent close to $250,000 on their daughter’s law school education. She had a brilliant mind, did her articling in one of the top law firms in the city, with a firm job offer after graduation. Six months before she graduated she met a man and married him. A month before graduation she announced she was pregnant and moving to Chicago. Her parents begged her to finish her education. She could practice law in Chicago after the baby was born. But no, Tina didn’t want to listen, she wanted to be a full-time mom. Today she has two children, is divorced and her parents are still paying off her student loans.

Then there’s Betty. Betty is an administrative assistant in a bank. Shortly after she started her job she got pregnant and went on a year’s maternity leave. When she came back she back she announced she was pregnant again and took off for another year of maternity leave. When she came back to work she was already pregnant for the third time and off she went again.

Next up there’s Yasmine. Yasmine also works for a bank, has four children and shows no signs of stopping. Her children range from age 6 to 11. All four go to school and after school they are looked after by their elderly and disabled grandparents. One is blind the other in a wheelchair. When Yasmine comes home from work, she picks up her kids and promptly kicks them out. In spring and summer, they play (unsupervised) in the condo building’s garden, in fall and winter they are banished to the corridor. When it’s time to eat she calls them in and after supper sends them to bed. When asked why the kids have to go to bed so early she openly states that she can’t stand having them around. Well, if that’s the case, why then have four children?

Are there other examples of young people acting irresponsibly? Yes, tons of them, but I think you get the idea. No need to go on and on.

Now women over the age of 50, on the other hand, are a whole different kettle of fish. When they get hired, an organization knows it’s getting value for money. Women who re-enter the job market at that age are either widowed or divorced and need the job for the money. The chances of an older woman quitting because she’s getting married are slim to none, and the chances of her getting pregnant and going on maternity leave are zero.

Other benefits of hiring older women are that they will show up on time, every time. They are experienced, they know what they’re doing, and take pride in their performance.

So, if you want to say that I discriminate against young people, go ahead. My conscience is clear. 

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Day 20: Missed Connections – Looking for love in all the wrong places

Day 20: Missed Connections – Looking for love in all the wrong places

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 20: Missed Connections – Go to Craigslist and click on the ‘Missed Connections’ section

There are an awful lot of lonely people out there and they go looking for love in all the wrong places. One of them, Craigslist.

Not only are there sections for men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, and women seeking women, there is also a category called missed connections for people who met but failed to connect.

It’s mainly men who post there and just about all of them start their message with ‘I know this is a long shot but ...’ Then they go on describing a chance encounter that happened today, a week ago, or in the past. I wonder if any of them ever had any success finding the girl they were looking for.

Of course, not everyone is looking for love, some of them are downright creepy. Take this guy for instance ...

Hi Sweetie,

I do see you every morning waking up and getting ready for work. I love to see you naked before and after a shower. I know you have a boyfriend as I catch you sometimes having sex. I would love to see that blonde body someday. Your pink underwear and the way you look at yourself in the mirror or fixing your bed.

A word of advice to this girl ... close your curtains.

And how about this one ...

Long shot ...

The bus was crowded you were right behind me and your bulge rubbed against my ass a few times. It was so hot. Had a boner the entire morning. Saw you on the subway too. You were wearing light color pants I think linen. 

Yeah, there's a guy you want to meet. (Sarcastic)

I’m so glad I’m no longer on the dating scene. I’m happily divorced and it’s going to stay that way. I wouldn’t hook up with another guy if a knife was held to my throat.

When I mention my dating experiences, I’m invariably sniggered at with the comment ‘In your days, things were different.’ Yes, they were, and in my opinion, they were a lot better.

There were no dating sites, no emails, no chat messages, and no cellphones for that matter. On Saturday and Sunday night we dressed up and went to a disco or a bar. When we saw a guy, we liked, we made it clear with eye contact and if he was interested he would come over. We talked, we danced and we made plans to see each other again.

If things worked out it was the beginning of a short or long-term relationship. If it didn’t, we either stayed friends or never wanted to see each other again.

Yet with all the dating sites and modern technology, people find it harder now than then to connect with someone. 

Almost every week there’s an article in some magazine how to find men, how to find women, how to attract the perfect partner, etc.

I talked to a guy the other day and he too complained that he couldn't find a girlfriend. I wondered how such a thing is possible, women are everywhere. They are at coffee shops and restaurants, gyms, bookstores, there are even women who hang out at DIY stores with the sole purpose of meeting a man. So how could he not find anyone?

Shyness he said. He’s been shot down a few times and now his confidence is damaged. For goodness sake, are women that threatening? If a guy approaches a woman and she’s not interested, she’ll simply say so. She’s not going to bite and devour a man on the spot.

As someone who has been there and done that, I’d say, take a chance and talk to a woman. She might just say yes.

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Day 2: The unrequited love poem

It’s only the second day of this writing project and I’ve hit a snag already. Today's exercise being:
The unrequited love poem. How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back.

Writing a poem about unrequited love … that’s not gonna work. Not that I can’t write a poem, I can rhyme with the best of them, but writing about love … no, that doesn’t suit me at all. I don’t believe in love.

People may love each other when they first meet, and love each other again when they’re in their golden years, but the years in-between can be hell on wheels. Why else would the divorce rate stand at over 50%?

I’m probably so cynical because I was married. We had a wonderful wedding and a romantic honeymoon, but 18 years later we had an even more wonderful divorce.

I sometimes wonder if men and women really suit each other. I mean, think about it. When two people meet and fall in love, they want to spend all their time together. No sooner are they married or everything changes. Maybe not in the first year, maybe not in the second, but eventually.

Men will start to pull on the reigns and want to spend time with their friends. They’ll want to go to sports events with their buddies, they want to go drinking with them, or do something else that takes him away from home. Maybe they’ll get lucky and meet someone who is after some casual adult fun. All too often I hear men refer to their wives as ‘The old ball and chain.’

Women are no better. They want to go shopping with their girlfriends, have lunches here and there, go to spas, go clubbing, and generally have a good time. Going shopping with a man is no fun, they just don’t have the interest to admire shoes, rifle through lipsticks, or try different perfumes. And yes, of course, there are those ladies who wouldn’t mind a bit of casual adult fun too.

So why get married in the first place? What drives people to bind themselves to others? Do they really think that a ceremony will make the other person stay ‘until death do them part’? Of course not. If the relationship is good, a man or a woman will stay, if the relationship goes south, they will leave. A marriage certificate isn’t going to change that.

Sometimes I wonder why people are so keen to get married anyway. I can understand why a man wants to get married, once he has a wife he no longer has to go looking for sex or pay for it, but it’s quite a bit different for a woman. Unless the couple can afford outside help, once married a whole heap of responsibilities land onto a woman’s shoulders: cleaning the house, doing the shopping, cooking the meals, washing and pressing clothes, and 101 other things. Then when the kids come along, her responsibilities double or even triple.

No, I don’t understand this keenness on finding a man and entering into marriage. I’ve been there and done that and I can say one thing for very, very sure … NEVER AGAIN!!! So if you’re waiting for an unrequited love poem … you’ll wait a long, long time.

The Woman in Cabin 10 - Part II

Yesterday I sang the praises of ‘The Woman in Cabin 10.’ However, to be perfectly honest, after finishing the book I had a few questions. Part of the story made no sense to me, leaving me guessing whether the author had made a mistake. (For the sake of future readers I’d rather don’t go into too much detail).

I went online, searching if someone else had picked up on these ‘mistakes’, but couldn’t find anything.

Desperate for answers I looked up Ruth Ware on Facebook and sent her a message. I didn’t actually expect her to answer, very few authors do. At best you get an automated reply, thanking you for your feedback. But I was going to give it a shot anyway.

Much to my surprise, Ms. Ware did reply and not just a one-liner, but a thorough explanation of what I had perceived as a mistake.

Even with her explanation though, I still didn’t quite get it, so I asked for further clarification, and moments later that’s exactly what I got. Ms. Ware even went as far as apologizing that she hadn’t spelled out the details more clearly.

I’m quite sure Ms. Ware is not to blame. It was me, this is what happens when I read until all hours of the night. My eyes fly over the lines, eager to know what happens next, and in the process some details escape my attention.

Then again, my Kindle might be to blame. By clicking next page, it’s very easy to skip a page. While fully alert, one might pick up on that skip, but who – at 2:00 in the morning – is alert enough to notice such a detail.

So, not only did ‘The Woman in Cabin 10’ impress me, Ms. Ware impressed me even more. She doesn’t act as the grand dame of literature, but rather as an average woman who doesn’t consider herself too posh to respond to a reader’s question.

Next up, ‘In a Dark, Dark Wood’ also by Ruth Ware. I’m only 17 pages into the story, but I can already tell … my nightlight will stay on long after midnight. 

The Woman in Cabin 10

Every avid reader has their favorite authors. For me that’s Erica James, Penny Vincenzi, Lesley Pearce, Joy Fielding, to name but a few. When I need something to read, I check out those names first because I know their stories won’t disappoint.

However, since my favorite authors seem to be in hibernation, as they had nothing new on the shelves, I had to look for something else.

For me this is always a gamble, as I’ve tried quite a few authors over the years whose book I tossed aside after a few pages, wondering how the heck this got published in the first place.

My latest gamble was ‘The Woman in Cabin 10’ by Ruth Ware.

I liked the look of the book (goes to show that some people do judge a book by its cover), while the synopsis seemed promising.

In this tightly wound, enthralling story reminiscent of Agatha Christie’s works, Lo Blacklock, a journalist who writes for a travel magazine, has just been given the assignment of a lifetime: a week on a luxury cruise with only a handful of cabins. The sky is clear, the waters calm, and the veneered, select guests jovial as the exclusive cruise ship, the Aurora, begins her voyage in the picturesque North Sea. At first, Lo’s stay is nothing but pleasant: the cabins are plush, the dinner parties are sparkling, and the guests are elegant. But as the week wears on, frigid winds whip the deck, gray skies fall, and Lo witnesses what she can only describe as a dark and terrifying nightmare: a woman being thrown overboard. The problem? All passengers remain accounted for—and so, the ship sails on as if nothing has happened, despite Lo’s desperate attempts to convey that something (or someone) has gone terribly, terribly wrong…

With surprising twists, spine-tingling turns, and a setting that proves as uncomfortably claustrophobic as it is eerily beautiful, Ruth Ware offers up another taut and intense read in The Woman in Cabin 10—one that will leave even the most sure-footed reader restlessly uneasy long after the last page is turned.

‘The Woman in Cabin 10’ carried no less than 402 reviews on Amazon, but I’d rather didn’t read them. For one, many amateur reviewers give away part of the story without a spoiler alert warning, and two … I put little or no stock in other people’s opinion. After all, what’s good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.

I made the mistake of starting ‘The Woman in Cabin 10’ shortly after midnight. I was only going to read for ten minutes or so, but before I knew it, it was 2:00 a.m.

I resolved not to read that late again, but the next night it was 2:30 before I turned the light off.

Near the end of the book going to sleep was not an option, I had to know how the story ended.

So, if you’re planning on reading ‘The Woman in Cabin 10’, prepare to turn page after page, wondering what will happen next. Prepare to chew your lips and bite your nails.

I gave ‘The Woman in Cabin 10’ a five-star rating.

The sticker says it all

Anyone who has a man in their life, whether it be a partner, a father or another male specimen, knows that they are not the easiest creatures to live with.

When they have the sniffles, they want to be pampered like they’re suffering from pneumonia.  When they have the flue, you’d swear they have a life threatening illness, and hold on to your hats ladies should they break a limb, because they turn into complete invalids.

Apart from this, men have a tendency of thinking they know everything better.  Have you ever been present when a man tries to put together furniture or a piece of equipment?  No? Keep it that way, because the moment you offer advice he will turn on you with “If you think you can do better, you do it.”

In other words, according to a man a woman shouldn't stick her nose in a man’s business.

Which brings me to the following …

The big issue in the upcoming presidential elections is abortion.  Both Romney and his side-kick are against abortion and make no secret about it.  Whether the child was conceived by accident or through rape or incest, all life is precious to them.

Pregnancy clearly is a woman’s business, but do men keep their noses out of that … apparently not.  They have now decided to do away with women’s rights. 

Personally I like the slogan the Dutch women came up with some 30 years ago … “Boss in own belly”.  She’s the one who has to carry the child for 9 months, she’s the one who has to give birth to it, and in most cases she’s the one who has to raise the child.  So Romney and cronies … BUD OUT!!!

How different it would be if men could get pregnant, would they feel the same way?  How many children would be born if men and women took giving birth to children in turns?  In other words, a man would give birth to the first child and a woman would produce the second, then a man would be responsible to birth the third one.  How many families would have three children?  My guess is, none.

But let’s see where men stand on other (typical) women’s activities.

Where it comes to cooking, most men limit themselves to the question “What’s for dinner?”  Some men know how to cook, in fact some of the greatest chefs are men, but the majority knows nothing about what goes on in a pot or a pan, or their knowledge is limited to boiling an egg.

As for cleaning, some men help around the house, but they are few.  Most men are nowhere to be found when chores need to be done.  Some don’t even know how to switch on a vacuum cleaner.

As for washing and ironing … let’s face it, leave this task to a man and you risk your delicates to end up in hot water, your woollies shrunken, or your white shirts to come out with a pink hue (thanks to his red T-shirt).  As for ironing … how many men know how to set up an ironing board and the correct heat setting of an iron?  There are those who can be trusted with laundry and ironing, but they belong to a small club.

Looking after the kids is another sore point.  Most men seem to think that making them and providing for them is enough.  Raising them is a woman’s job.  How many times have you heard “Go ask your mother”? 

Where kids are concerned, most men are also hypocrites.  Let a boy have “sticky fingers” and a man will say “Your son was caught shoplifting.”  Let a boy score the first goal in a soccer match and a man will say “My boy won the game.”  The same applies to girls of course.  Let the girl do something wrong and it’s “Your daughter …”, let the girl excel in something and it’s “My daughter …”

Regardless of who wins the presidential election this year, I can only hope that for the next election a woman steps up to the plate.  Then perhaps things will really change for the better for women.  Until then ladies, may the force be with you and think before you vote.

The woman in the rose garden

This morning someone blogged about a dream she had last night.  I figured I might do the same.  Only this isn’t a dream …

She was as real as you and me.

She was standing in the rose garden, wearing a bright red and blue sari, with intricate gold embroidery.  Her long dark hair was hanging in a plait down her back, a white dog at her feet.  She was there one moment and gone the next.

I came down from my apartment on the 11th floor with the elevator and paused in the lobby to tuck my shirt in my pants.  While doing so, I glanced out the floor to ceiling lobby windows and that’s when I saw her … the Indian woman in the sari.

I didn’t think anything of it, as plenty of Indian women live in my building.  It was only when I got outside and the woman was nowhere to be seen that she had my full attention. 

She couldn’t have gone far.  From the lobby to the front door of the building had taken me a matter of seconds.  Where could she have gone?  I looked to my right, I looked to my left, I scanned the whole area, but the woman seemed to have gone up in smoke.

Passing the rose garden I continued to look for her in all directions.  So mystified was I with her that, even after leaving the building grounds, I continued to look for her.  I kept turning around, examining every inch of the front garden, but there was no sign of her. 

Where could she have gone in the mere seconds it took me to get from the lobby to the front door?  I suppose, if she lived on the ground floor, she could have climbed on one of the balconies, but someone I didn’t see that happening.  If she had worn jeans and a T-shirt, yes, but not in the sari she was wearing.

Curious as I am, I couldn’t let it go.  Was this woman real or was she some kind of spirit?  She didn’t look like a spirit, not that I would know what a spirit looks like.  I’ve seen them portrayed in pictures and paintings as transparent or luminous beings, which this woman was anything but.  She was as real as you and me.

A few weeks later I learned that Adheri and her white poodle had been killed in a car accident on their way to the vet.

Let me rant

Where is it written that one must be respectful to pregnant women?
Being respectful to elders, yes, they can’t help it getting older, but pregnant women ... why must we be respectful? They’re not dying, they’re not even sick, they’re just expecting a baby.

Pregnancy is a temporary condition. Some got that way by accident (and in this day and age that is just irresponsible), or it was planned, in which case they knew what they were getting in to. Heck in some cases, women have been trying to get pregnant for months or years, so why should the universe suddenly revolve around them? They wanted it, now they have it, so let them deal with it.

Why do I sound so ticked off? Because I got into a bit of a tiff with a pregnant woman on the train. I got to a seat first and she felt I should give up my seat to her. Euh why? Hairdressers get pregnant and they’re on their feet the whole day. Women who work in stores and get pregnant spent most of their time on their feet. In the olden days, a farmer’s wife helped her husband in the field, sometimes under a boiling hot sun. So why should I give up my seat to pregnant woman for a twenty minute train ride?

She felt she deserved respect. Respect? Respect for what? Getting herself pregnant? In my opinion that does not deserve respect. What did she do that was so special, unselfish or heroic? She had sex, what’s so special about that? That is, unless she managed to get into a position even Cirque the Soleil performers have trouble with.

Eventually she got a seat and if she had anything else to say I didn’t hear it because I put my music on with headphones. If she wanted to prattle on, I wouldn’t hear it.

Apparently though she wasn’t finished with me. While leaving the train she wanted her revenge and shoved me. A gutsy move on her part I might add as she was a short little twerp and I’m a 5 feet 10 inches giant.
Well, the shove was a mistake. When she tried to get away, I went into hot pursuit.

And I got her, I had to practically run to keep up with her, and climb several sets of stairs (she obviously had no problem with her pregnancy now), but I got her and I let her have it. No, I didn’t lay a hand on her, I’m not that stupid, but I gave her a tongue lashing she won’t forget in a hurry.

She quickly slipped beyond the barricades of the train station where I couldn’t follow her. Well, I could have followed her but then I would have had to pay again to continue my journey. She wasn’t worth it, so I left it at that. But she will remember me and I certainly will remember her.

If there’s one thing that ticks me off (other than pregnant women) is people who demand respect. In my opinion respect has to be earned, it doesn’t come automatically and you certainly don’t get it from me because you happen to be pregnant. Like I said, what is there to be respectful about?