Day 150: What’s That’s Smell?

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 150: What’s That’s Smell?

Christmas is coming and ever since I discovered shopping online, I’ve been all over the Net looking for suitable gifts. Of course, I had to start early as some gifts come from China and it can take as long as four weeks for packages to arrive. And arriving they do, one after another.

Next up I went in search for wrapping paper, not online but in an actual store. Since not any paper will do, I looked at several designs and finally settled on this one …

This morning I thought it was time to start wrapping the gifts, cleared the dining room table, got the scissors and the sticky tape and set to work. It didn’t take long before I smelled something foul, let me rephrase that … something that stank up to high heaven.

Since it was the smell of poop I thought that one of the cats had an accident on the floor. I checked the carpet under the table, I checked the surrounding floor and when I couldn’t find anything, I checked the bottom of my slippers. I could see anything.

I continued wrapping and the closer I got to the paper, checking that the corners were neatly folded, the stronger the stinky smell became. So, I bend and sniffed the wrapping paper … OMG I nearly passed out, the paper smelled like the worst kind of poop.

Even the cats made a hasty retreat. Thus far Halley and Greyson had positioned themselves on the dining room table, ready to ‘help’ me with the wrapping, but the smell of the paper was even too much for them.

Of course, I'm not just Christmas shopping for Dieter, the cats are getting a gift too. In the past when we bought them toys they showed little or no interest in them but claimed the box the toys came in. So this year we opted for something practical rather than toys. We got them this:

The box is set to arrive tomorrow. I wonder, will they show an interest or ignore the cat tree?

Day 69: Christmas gifts to avoid

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 69: Christmas gifts to avoid

The number one Christmas gift to avoid is a pet.

Kittens and puppies may look adorable in the store or shelter, but they are not ideal gifts.

Kittens and puppies tend to grow up and then what?  Will the gift receiver commit to love and care for them for their entire life span?  Do they have the time and life style to care for a pet?

Many people travel for work and are often away for days or even weeks.  These people generally do not have pets as leaving them creates a problem.  Who will feed them?

Giving a bird, a fish or any other life animal is an equally bad idea.  They too need care on a daily basis and presenting someone with such a gift is thoughtless. 

Should you want to rescue an animal from a shelter and present it to someone make sure that the animal is welcome.

Another gift to avoid is fragrance.  Unless you are familiar with the fragrance the lady in your life uses, stay away from the cute little bottles.  Something may smell nice to you, but that does not necessarily mean that she will share your opinion. 

Come to think of it, stay away from the personal care isle altogether. Ladies are fussy which creams and lotions they use. Unless you are familiar with her preferences, do not take chances.

Ladies, the same goes for you. You may like a certain cologne, but does he?  The time that men had only a handful of colognes to choose from are long gone. These days the display cabinet of men’s fragrances is almost as extensive as the one for ladies.

Chocolates or other candy may seem like a good idea, but is it?  Perhaps the lady in your life is trying to lose a few pounds. Perhaps a certain type of chocolate makes her face break out in spots. She might even be diabetic.

Giving a woman who is a bit overweight a book on dieting, or giving a woman who does not like to cook a cookbook is an equally bad idea. You may think you are helping her, but she might just chuck it at you. If you want to give her a book, familiarize yourself with her preferred authors.

Do not give her clothes, unless you are certain of her size. If the garment is too small she will be disappointed; if it is too big she might be insulted. And even if the item is the right size, will she like the color or texture?

Knock-offs are best to be avoided too. Whether it is a Guess handbag, or a Gucci watch, if you cannot afford the real thing, stay away from it. Far better to buy something cheaper, but for it to be the real thing.

Before setting off for your Christmas shopping, listen to the receiver of your gift, she might just drop a hint.

Or, if you are totally clueless, ask her to draw up a wish list. Whatever you decide to buy, play it safe and keep the receipt.

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Day 67: Christmas Shopping

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 67: Christmas Shopping

I met one of my neighbors yesterday who bitterly complained ...

How I wish that there was indeed such a man as Father Christmas. Someone who would bring the perfect presents to our house in exchange for some milk and cookies. Gosh, I would gladly make him coffee and a sandwich or even cook him dinner for saving me a trip to the mall.

Every year I suggest that instead of giving presents at Christmas, we move exchanging presents to New Years. I mean, what is the big deal? So, we wait a week, so what?  Is one week going to kill us? And think of all the benefits: no crowds; reduced prices; plenty of items to chose from; and no Christmas music.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas carols as much as the next person, but after hearing ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ ten or fifteen times, those jingle bells start to give me a headache!  Then I wonder why nobody gets Rudolph inside so he can warm his nose. 

One year, in the third week of December I went in search of presents. And, just like other years, it was a battle and a struggle. The otherwise relatively quiet mall was packed with people. Some were milling around, not quite knowing where to go, while others were purposefully striding, knowing exactly what to get, where to go, and loosing no time getting there. I got a bump here, a shove there and must have heard “I’m sorry”, “Excuse me”, and “Pardon me” at least fifteen times. I had to ask myself, was this shopping or polite wrestling?

In good time, I found what I was looking for and was quickly weighed down by boxes and rolls of wrapping paper. I became a bit more sympathetic towards the pushers and the shovers as I was now one of them, occasionally uttering the words “I’m sorry”, “Excuse me” and “Pardon me.”

I dragged more than I carried my purchases in large plastic bags and heavy cardboard boxes across the mall, all the while perspiring in my heavy winter coat. My feet were killing me; my back was in urgent need of a soft comfy chair, my legs agreed with my back and to make matters worse I was getting hungry.  What might people think if they thought they heard a loud rumbling noise?

By the time I got home, my bank account and I felt the same way --- exhausted.

Still, mall shopping is a vast improvement over street shopping. Back then it was so cold Santa could have tagged me to replace Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer within the first five minutes. The wind tugged at my coat and scarf as I trudged through inches of snow. Fun it was not, and it got even worse when I was laden with a few packages. I slipped and I skidded, and quite a few times I ultimately ended up on my not well padded behind!

At least now, when I shop in a mall, I keep my balance and my dignity. It’s even worth listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks singing ‘Jingle Bells’.

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Day 62: Online Christmas Shopping

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 62: Online Christmas Shopping

For the first time ever, I did all my Christmas shopping online. Other years I went to the mall and dragged myself from one end to another looking for gifts for my son. Usually, I know what he needs or can guess what he wants, so it’s merely a question of finding these things.

This year, however, things were different. With a pinched sciatica nerve, I couldn’t go to the mall. My back is a lot better than what it was almost four weeks ago, but I still can only stay on my feet for five or ten minutes at a time. So, I had to do my Christmas shopping online.

The trouble with online shopping though is that you have to know what you want. In a mall, you can walk around and look at various things, but online it’s more complicated. So, I started by opening Amazon where I typed in the search bar ‘gifts for men’. The result of my search was of no use to me. So I tried a more direct approach ... I asked my son to give me a list of things he would like.

While that made shopping a lot easier, now I was faced with another problem ... the shipping costs. For instance, I looked at an item that cost $20 but the shipping and handling costs were $23. Another item was priced $54 and the shipping and handling costs were $40.

Then I noticed that Amazon offered a service called Prime, with which feature shipping and handling would be free. Not every item was included in this free shipping list, but millions were. They offered a free 31 days trial, so I took them up on it.

Now that I was an Amazon Prime member I repeated my search for my son’s gifts. Gift #1 ... free shipping, gift #2 ... free shipping, gift #3 ... free shipping, I was suddenly in shopping heaven and found everything he wanted without having to pay one cent on shipping costs.

Now the question was, would the gifts arrive on time? Some were estimated to arrive this week, some next week, some in the third week of December. Well, that was cutting it a bit close but what the heck, if something arrived a little late, so what.

So that’s it, all my shopping is done. I’ve never been a big fan of shopping online, but I’ve changed my tune now. No more braving the cold. No more trudging through snow and slipping on patches of ice. No more crisscrossing the mall and putting up with loads of shoppers, standing in line to pay and then laden with heavy packages dragging myself home. This year I installed myself in an armchair, put my feet up and clicked my way through Amazon.

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Black Friday

Intrepid souls all over north America, and perhaps elsewhere too, are whipping out their credit cards and heading to the stores for Black Friday bargains.

Others, who prefer to do their shopping online, fire up their computers and prepare for a day of Internet surfing, looking for deals.

I won’t be doing either.

It started out so innocently. I had noticed a red swelling on my leg (where the leg meets the tummy) on Monday. I assumed it was some sort of an insect bite and that it would go away in due time.

This was not the case. If anything the swelling got bigger and became rather painful. So painful in fact that I had to cut my underwear as the elasticized material was too tight around the leg where the swelling was.

Yesterday, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. Not only had the swelling grown from the size of a blueberry to a cherry, I couldn’t keep cutting my underwear.

The doctor diagnosed the red swelling as a boil, a giant boil. He suggested antibiotics or opening the boil to drain the blood and pus. He was going to give the affected area a local anesthetic, but he said and I quote “I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, it’s gonna hurt.”

He was right. When the needle entered the skin it was just a tiny pinprick, but as soon as he started injecting the freezing liquid it felt like the boil caught fire.

The surgery itself was painless, although more complicated than the doctor had anticipated. He had to cut three times. Eventually, he had to give up because he said he couldn’t cut any deeper because he might hit an artery. 

He said that by Sunday the boil should be better, if not I will have to take antibiotics (which I rather not). He advised me to apply warm compresses every two to three hours and stay off my feet.

“So no Black Friday shopping,” I asked him.

“Better not,” he said, “put up your feet and rest.”

This ruined my plans for early Christmas shopping. I was gonna go to the mall, and even though dealing with a crowd of shoppers would be hell, I was prepared to put up with it for the sake of finding some bargains.

If I couldn’t walk the stores, I figured I might as well join the Internet shoppers and go online. Not that that worked out well. Not only did I get for all selected items the message “May arrive after Christmas”, the shipping and handling charges were outrages.

I was about to give up when I found an email in my inbox that a particular website offered 75% off on over 10,000 items. I clicked to check it out, only to be disappointed again. 

Items that were $120 were now $115, items that $45 were now $43, items that were $14 were now $12. Where was the 75% off?

So I gave up and my Christmas shopping will have to wait until December. With any luck, the stores in the mall will have Christmas specials. And yes, dragging my purchases home won’t be easy, but it will be cheaper than the shipping charges.

www.connymanero.weebly.com

We might move ...

Parents who buy their child a drum set or another musical instrument often live to regret it as their quiet life is suddenly filled with noise.  If the child can play, great, but if he can’t, the noise of the instrument can rapidly become ear torture.

I made a mistake too.  I bought my son a bowling ball for his birthday (a C-(System) ulti-max) and if I had known then what I know now … I might have thought twice before making that purchase.

While playing with his old bowling ball, we were more or less competitive equals.  Sure he won more games than I did, but every now and then I managed to snatch one or two games from him.

With the new bowling ball, that equality has gone out the window.  Today he scored: 190 – 224 – 222 – 214 – 189 - 231.  There’s no way I can compete with that.

However, that’s not all.  Before he would make a couple of strikes per game, but the majority of a ten-pin bowling game would be made up of two tries, often resulting in a spare.  This would give me the chance to sit down for a moment, catch my breath and rest my weary legs.

Not anymore.  With this new ball, Dieter made strike after strike after strike, giving me no rest whatsoever.  I would sit down, he would make a strike and hup, it would be my turn again.  In the end I didn’t even bother sitting down anymore.

We have definitely broken our record in bowling alley attendance this week.

It started on Tuesday (Dieter’s birthday) when we went to pick up the bowling ball.  After drilling we wanted to play a few games, but with two leagues playing there were no lanes available.

So we went home and returned to the bowling alley two hours later when the league would have finished.  That was two visits in one day.

On Friday we had league bowling.

Today, Saturday, we went practising. 

Tomorrow friends are picking us up for some friendly competition.

By my count that is five bowling alley visits in one week.  We might as well move and go and live there. 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!
Was yours a merry Christmas or was Christmas Eve just another evening and Christmas Day just another day? If it was, don’t worry, I’ll bet it was just another evening and just another day for a lot of folks.

The Christmas season has been somewhat romanticized by movies, TV series, books and even Christmas cards. A serene white landscape with white glistening snow; a warm yellow glow radiating from a fairly lights decorated house; a festively decked table on which sits a golden brown turkey; a family gathered around a floor to ceiling Christmas tree.
On TV and on paper it all looks so beautiful, but what about real life?

Where it comes to snow, people seldom get misty eyed when gazing upon a snowy landscape. They shiver at the thought of having to go outside or frown and sigh at the thought of having to shovel snow again.
Those who decorated their house with fairly lights are gonna get a nasty surprise when they see their electrical bill. I have to pay how much?
As for that golden brown turkey ... I’ll bet you anything that quite a few turkeys didn’t quite reach that kind of golden brown perfection. Some were probably a little pale, while others were covered up with gravy to hide a distinct blackness. And if a turkey looked good, how did it taste? Was it tender and juicy or was it a bit on the dry side?
As for the beautifully decorated Christmas tree, how many families can afford a floor to ceiling model? Most probably have to make do with a smaller version, decorated with what fit the budget or the circumstances.

For instance, I love glass balls with lots of glitter for the Christmas tree, but in my house that would be a dumb thing to use. I have five very inquisitive cats and glass balls would have a very short lifespan. So I can only decorate my tree with unbreakable balls. I also love tinsel, but that’s a no no too. My cats are not only inquisitive, they are also chewers and I rather don’t have to take them on an emergency visit to the vet due to tinsel chewing.

For large families it’s probably nice getting together on Christmas, but having them all around the dinner table does present some problems. Can you imagine how much potatoes have to be peeled to feed between ten to thirty people? Have you any idea how many vegetables have to be chopped? And what about the dishes ... who is gonna volunteer to wash all those plates, glasses and cups? Not to mention all the cooking pots and pans.

If your Christmas wasn’t all that merry, think about that. You may be single and living in a highrise, but at least you don’t have snow to shovel and your hydro bill won’t let your eyes grow the size of teacups. I’ll bet that the take-out you ordered was just as good, if not better, than that burned dried out turkey. And as for your Christmas tree ... size really doesn’t matter.
In case you didn’t get to buy any gifts, and didn’t get any gifts, what’s stopping you from buying a gift for yourself? A little something from me to me.

Don’t you go feeling sorry for yourself at Christmas, there are others who are a lot worse off than you. The hospitals are full of the sick who may or may not get better; in convalescent homes folks are trying to cope with the hand life has dealt them and all us and all of them are better off than those living on the streets, gazing upon homes, thinking of the home they once had.