Day 166: Think before you pull out your wallet parents

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 166: Think before you pull out your wallet parents

My friends and I got together the other day. Alice was not in a good mood, in fact, she was fuming mad.

“Get this,” she came straight to the point, “Margaret’s maternity leave is almost finished, and she doesn’t want to go back to work. She wants to be a stay at home mom. She’s a qualified chartered accountant and now she wants to quit her job!”

“Do what I did,” Victoria said, placing a calming hand on Alice’s arm. “The very same thing happened with my eldest daughter Cindy. She studied law, passed the bar exam and got hired by one of the big law firms of Toronto. A month later she and Eric got married and three months after that she got pregnant. When it was almost time to go back to work, she announced that she wasn’t going to, that she was going to be a stay at home mom.”

I said “That’s fine honey, but I invested in your future by paying your tuition, amounting to close to $200,000. Now you have a choice, you either go back to work or you are going to pay me back. I won’t charge you interest, but if you’re gonna throw your future away, I want that $200,000 to be paid back to me. And not with $20 a month, we’ll set up a payment plan. We make the amount payable over 10 years, which will amount to $1,666 per month.”

She started laughing and wondered where in the world she was going to get $1,666 a month. I said, “Well honey, that’s your problem. But that’s how it is.”

When she saw I wasn’t joking, that I was in fact deadly serious she wasn’t laughing anymore. When her maternity leave finished, she returned to work. Problem solved.”

I don’t have that problem with my daughter, Angela,” Maggie piped up. “I wouldn’t mind a grandchild, but when I talked to Ruby about it she was having none of it. “Do you think I put myself through university, studied my ass off and worked two jobs just to chuck it all away in a kid?” she said. “Forget it, mom.”

It seems to me that the problem lies with the parents. If mommy and daddy pay for tuition the son or daughter is more likely to chuck their career at the first opportunity than if the student pays out of his or her own pocket. They know what it took to get where they are and are more likely to appreciate it. 

Think before you pull out your wallet parents!

Day 99: Can creative writing be taught

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 99: Can creative writing be taught

Joe, a Facebook member, posted this question today … ‘What do you guys think about an aspiring writer going to college to become a fiction writer? Good or bad idea?’

Rather than giving him a direct answer, his question became the inspiration for today’s blog post.

Many years ago, I had a pen pal called Nadia. This was before the Internet became popular and people exchanged letters instead of emails. Our letters were no ordinary letters, but pages and pages of stories that resembled a small newspaper. We started out writing with pen and paper, later used a typewriter and ultimately switched to a computer.

Nadia’s letters were fluid, interesting and funny. She wrote from the heart and I could tell that rather than writing, she was talking to me.

A few years later, Nadia told me that she planned on writing a short story for a national competition. As it turned out, her submission was not only accepted, but she won 1^st prize and gained television, radio and newspaper exposure.

Rather than this victory building up her confidence, it destroyed it. Nadia couldn’t write anything anymore because all her creations fell short compared her winning story.

She decided to enroll in a creative writing class. Three years later she graduated with distinction. During these three years, I had noticed a change in Nadia’s letters. They were no longer fluid but mechanical.

When as tactfully mentioned this to Nadia, she wholeheartedly agreed. She said ever since she took the course, writing was no longer a labor of love but torture. She agonized over word choice and sentence structure, often rewriting the same sentence over and over again until it was as perfect as possible.

When I remarked that this was probably advisable for story writing, she didn’t have to go through such trouble while writing a letter to me. Her response was ‘I can’t help it. I’ve become so aware of being grammar perfect that nothing but the best will do.’

Ultimately, the book that Nadia intended on writing never materialized and she couldn’t even produce another short story. In her quest for perfection, she had lost her creativity.

To answer Joe’s question … Go to college to improve your language skills, but where it comes to your creative spirit … nobody can teach you that.

Don’t forget to donate to the Toronto Cat Rescue.

Any amount will make a difference.

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/toronto-cat-rescue-bowl-a-thon-9/

Day 31: The importance of teachers

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 31: The importance of teachers

More and more families decide to homeschool their children. The majority justifies their action by voicing a concern of the school environment, while others chose to homeschool because of religious reasons or because the child has special needs.  While the motivation might be well intended, parents often forget the importance of teachers.

Why are teachers important?

The Board of Education claims that a primary school teacher holds the most important job in the world.  A teacher is a trained professional, able to deal with all kinds of children and situations. A teacher passes on knowledge and values to her class of young students and prepares them for higher education and life in the workplace. 

The role of the teacher

Teaching gifted students is easy, stimulating ordinary students and leading them to excellence is quite another.  A good teacher sparks the interest of her students, tickles their curiosity and motivates them to work.

The role of the teacher in class

Teachers, whether in elementary or high school, do more than stand in front of a class and deliver a lecture.  Many will claim that teaching isn’t so much a profession as it is a calling.

They influence their students with their commitment, competence, and character. 

They transfer their morals and ethics to their students and stimulate them to learn. 

Good teachers encourage students to participate in lessons, seeks their opinion and use student’s feedback to make the lessons more effective and fun. 

The role of the teacher in school

While teachers are first and foremost facilitators who transfer their knowledge in a particular subject to their students, they take on other roles too.

They are role models who show kindness and good manners to those around them.

They instill the right attitude in students to learn.

They provide guidance to students who need help and support them along the way.

They are confidants to students with problems.  While schools generally have a guidance teacher, many students prefer to entrust a teacher they know with their problems.

Teachers are often instrumental in a student’s career choice.

A good teacher has a way of communicating with parents and encourages them to be involved in their child’s education.

A teacher’s role in society

Being a role model, a teacher should behave impeccably in everyday life.  While everybody deserves to relax and let their hair down, swearing in public, or rude or drunken behavior can ruin a teacher’s reputation. The teacher never knows who is watching. A single misstep can ruin a carefully build up career.

Unless a child is homeschooled by a teacher or professor, it misses out on all these advantages. Not only that, a homeschooled child doesn’t learn any social skills in dealing with other children. In many ways, going to school prepares a child for a working environment in adult life.

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Day 17: Pick a word from a dictionary and write about it - trainer

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 17: Pick a word from a dictionary and write about it - trainer

Okay, I encountered a bit of a snag here ... I don’t own a dictionary. So I turned to Google and asked to present me with a random dictionary word. Google came up with ‘Trainer’. This word suited me just fine as it gives me the opportunity to tell you about the time I took my dog to obedience school.

My dog was called Laura, a Belgian Shephard and while a beautiful animal, she was not very obedient. Taking her for a walk was nothing to look forward to. She would strain on her leach, the leather cutting into my hand, and I would hardly be able to keep up with her. And heaven forbid when she saw a cat or a bird. She would take off like an arrow from a bow, dragging me behind her.

When a neighbor suggested obedience school I made inquiries and Laura was accepted for the September/October class.

The first Saturday afternoon we showed up at the school, which was a large grassy field with a pavilion, I was surprised at the attendance. There must have been 60 men and women there, accompanied by German Shepherds, Labradors, Border Collies, Golden Retrievers, French Poodles, Dobermans, and an assortment of mixed breeds.

While the owners made conversation, the dogs sat next to them, lay down on the grass, or tried to get acquainted with each other.

At precisely 3:00 p.m. one of the trainers called the gathering to order and requested them to go their allocated spot: beginners, intermediates and advanced. It was obvious who the intermediates and advanced men and women and their dogs were, as they knew where to go. Only the beginners class stayed behind.

Laura and I, along with 10 other dogs and their owners were directed to the left-hand side of the field. The class started by commanding our dog to sit.

“Sit” I commended Laura, but she looked up at me with an expression that said she was perfectly fine standing. “Sit,” I said again and again and eventually she must have thought ... okay, if you insist. So, she sat.

Next came the command to lay down. When I commended Laura to lay down, she had no problem with that. She lay down, front paws elegantly stretched out in front of her. Good dog. 

Getting her to get up again proved to be difficult and I could see her point ... first you want me to lay down, now you want me to get up ... make up your mind.

We practiced and practiced and eventually Laura had it down, she sat and lay down on command. Now came the part where our dogs had to sit and had to remain in place while their owners walked away (a short distance). Laura was having none of that. I had barely taken three steps or she came after me. Walking away while Laura lay down proved to be just as impossible.

Week after week Laura and I joined the other men and women and their dogs, most of them well behaved if not super obedient (the dogs I mean).

Toward the end of October, obedience classes came to an end and the training season would be rounded off with a party. One of the staff members handed me an invitation and Laura promptly bit her arm. Not bad, but enough to warn her.

“Never extend your arm to an owner while the dog is present,” one of the trainers said. “The dog might think that you’re going to attack the owner. Do it slowly and let the owner extend his or her arm first.”

So, while technically Laura had done nothing wrong, we were banned from any future lessons. Biting a staff member, even with the intention of protecting an owner, was not acceptable.

“Don’t feel bad,” the instructor who had been working with Laura said to me. “Laura might not be the most obedient dog, but where it comes to protecting, she doesn’t need any lessons.”

www.connymanero.weebly.com

The Husband's Secret. Liane Moriarty doesn't care if she offends her readers. Contains Spoilers

When amateur writers seek the advice of professionals on how to write a good story they invariably are told to:

Have an attention grabbing opening to the story;

To show rather than tell; and

To pay close attention to spelling and grammar

In my opinion, there should be a fourth piece of advice … give the story a good ending.

I recently read “The Husband’s Secret” and while the story was good, the ending was so disturbing that I will never read another book of Liane Moriarty again.

In The Husband’s Secret we first meet Cecilia, model wife of Jean-Paul, mother of three girls, and perfect housekeeper, who one day finds a letter her husband has written many years ago, in which he confesses to murdering a 17-year old girl.

We also meet Tess, wife of Will, mother and successful business woman who discovers that her husband is having an affair with her best friend.

Finally, there’s Rachel, a widow and mother of the murdered girl.

While Cecilia knows of the murder, and is deeply shocked, after reading the letter, she does nothing.

Once Tess finds out of her husband’s infidelity, she takes her son and runs home to her mother. Once there she meets an old boyfriend, Connor, with whom she has mind blowing sex.

Rachel works as an administrator in a primary school where Cecilia’s daughters and Tess’ son go to school and have Connor as a PE teacher. She is convinced that Connor killed her daughter, but lacks any proof.

The story babbles on and it’s quite enjoyable until the end.

Seeing how the police refuses to arrest Connor, after Rachel presented them with a new piece of (weak) evidence, she is going to take matters into her own hands.

During an Easter Sunday drive, she spots Connor crossing the street and floors the accelerator. Only Connor gets out of the way and she hits Cecilia’s youngest daughter, whose right arm has to be amputated.

When later she learns that it was actually Cecilia’s husband who murdered her daughter she decides not to report this to the police. He strangled her daughter, while she is responsible for a girl losing her right arm, so that makes them even.

(In a sort of epilogue the author mentions that the amputee girl will never get the chance to play tennis. I guess Liane Moriarty has never heard of John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors and Andres Gomez who were all left handed tennis champions.)

As for Tess … she gets a visit from her husband, who states that having an affair wasn’t quite as much fun after she left the house, and he wants her back. Even though Will is a frumpy, overweight, hairy man, who is unable to satisfy her sexually, she takes him back without a second thought to Connor, the gorgeous ex-boyfriend, PE teacher, who sent her to the moon and back with orgasms.

I guess Tess has never heard the saying … once a cheater, always a cheater. Several women will tell her that, once a man has eaten the green grass on the other side, sooner or later he will go back for another nibble.

Not only that, Tess finds herself pregnant with another child. Is it Will’s or is it Connor’s … she claims she will never know. Has Liane Moriarty never heard of DNA testing?

The marriage is clearly in trouble, but Tess thinks that another baby will make Will stay put. Not only is this naïve, it’s irresponsible.

As for Cecilia … she knows that her husband is a murderer but she will do nothing. She loves her husband and that’s that. She will continue to keep the house clean, do the laundry, do the cooking and now busy herself with her research on arm prosthesis and will be that.

The moral of the story …

Once you’re married and have kid, your happiness is of no importance. It’s all about the kid, let the kid not lose his father because then you’ll ruin his life.

(What kind of message does this send to desperately unhappy women? You don’t matter and put up with anything and everything? What about divorced women, are they supposed to feel guilty? I would like to tell Liane Moriarty that divorcing my husband was the best decision I’ve ever made.)

It’s okay to take the law into your own hands and almost kill an innocent man while a murderer goes free, she’ll even have him over for a cup of tea.

It’s okay to stay married to a murderer. After all, in your marriage vows you promised to be there for better or for worse, so a woman’s place is by her husband, regardless of his actions. Better that than for your three daughters to lose their father, for you to lose an excellent provider and having to move out from a stately home.

And it’s also okay to be a murderer as long as you’re sorry. After all, Jean-Paul as the killer gave up rowing (his favorite past time) and a few years later he gave up sex for 6 months. Oh well, who can argue with that?

Never mind that some people get the death sentence for murder, get life in prison, or spend several years in prison for manslaughter, this guy is sorry, gave up rowing and sex for a few months so that evens it out.

I am by no means a professional, but my advice to enthusiastic writers would be … pay attention to the ending of your story. People of all walks of life, all with their own problems will read your story and hopefully forget their troubles for a while. Do you really want to be judge and jury and risk offending your readers?

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Meet Nancy Matson

With the release of “Debbie” just days away, I thought I’d introduce everyone to Nancy Matson, the illustrator of the book. 

Robin Tidwell interviewed Nancy and what an interesting lady she is.

https://robintidwell.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/meet-illustrator-nancy-matson/#