Day 16: Are you chicken

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 16: Are you chicken

Just about everyone, at one time or another, has been asked … ‘Are you chicken?’ While some people might be offended by the question, it doesn’t bother me in the least. I am chicken, I freely admit it.

The first time I was called chicken was in Gold Reef City, Johannesburg, South Africa. We were standing in front of ‘The Golden Loop’ and my mother – ever the daredevil – wanted to go on the ride. She turned to my dad who puffed out his cheeks and shook his head. When she turned to me I did the same, with even more conviction. And with good reason.

During the testing phase of the Golden Loop, the carriage had come off the tracks and flown through the air. Take a look at the photo … do you see that flag at the top of the construction? That’s where it happened. Not ones, not twice, but several times. 

No way was I going on that ride.

The second time was right here in Toronto.

For my parent’s 50^th wedding anniversary, I had booked a table in the restaurant at the CN Tower. After our meal, we went to the lower level of the tower where there the observation deck and the glass floor are located. Mom dared me to walk across the glass floor.

Even though I’ve been assured that the floor is strong enough to hold ten elephants, I didn’t risk it.

A few years later the CN Tower opened ‘The Edge Walk’. An adventure where folks walk on top of the CN Tower. Dieter was all for it.

“How about it?” he asked.

I gave him a look. Wild horses couldn’t drag me up there.

“Chicken,” he said.

Yeah well, better a life chicken than a dead chicken.

I mean, look at what these folks are doing up there. Not a hair on my head even considers doing something so ludicrous!

A few days ago my dear son called me chicken again. He’d seen a video online where the camera first shows a normal sized spider and next shows a Goliath bird-eating spider. He saved the video to show me later. Then again, knowing my fear of spiders he thought it might not be a good idea.

“Is it big?” I asked him.

“Oh yeah,” he said.

“Bigger than a tarantula?”

“Much bigger,” he said. “Its legs are 30 cm (11.8 inches) each.”

OMG, that was a BIG spider. Did I want to see the video?

“Let me think about it,” I said.

“Chicken?” he said.

Yeah well, yes, right now I could only imagine the size of that beast, but if I actually saw it on the video … it might give me nightmares.

I debated for 48 hours and finally decided that I didn’t want to see it. Chicken or no chicken. And would you believe it … even though I hadn’t seen the spider, I had a nightmare about it anyway.

So, the next time someone calls you chicken, don’t get upset, go along with it. From one chicken to another, we’re not scared, we’re just careful. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  

Day 15: A Funny Story About a Spider

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 15: A Funny Story About a Spider

I know, it sounds weird … a funny story about a spider? Funny and spider don’t exactly go together. But it’s true. And there’s no need to run for the hills ladies, I’m just as scared of spiders as you are so there won’t be any pictures of the eight-legged monsters.

The picture you see above is where the following story took place. It didn’t happen to me, but to Ray, a close personal friend. In all the years I’ve known him I never caught him in a lie, so take it from me, this is 100% true.

It happened a long time ago when Ray was still a boy. He was on his way home from school in Barberton, South Africa, on a particularly hot day in December. The road was a dusty brown flanked on either side by corn fields.

At one point, Ray got the distinct impression that he was being followed, but when he looked over his shoulder there was nobody there. He walked a few meters more, looked again, but no, he was alone. Or so he thought.

After yet another couple of meters he turned again and this time he looked down and saw that an enormous tarantula was about three meters away from him. Despite the poor condition of the road and the intense heat, Ray took off like an Olympic sprinter.

When he looked behind him, hopeful to be as far away from the spider as possible, he noticed to his surprise that the eight-legged monster was following him, sprinting with all its might. Ray recalled running even faster, panting and praying for help.

When no help came and Ray’s heart, lungs, and legs could no longer keep up the tempo he knew he had to slow down. But he didn’t want to slow down, he wanted to get as far away from the brown-haired spider that was still following him.

In the end, he had no choice. The temperature must have been a scalding 43 degrees C (110 degrees F) and his body was giving up.

Expecting that the tarantula would be upon him within seconds, he looked back and noticed that the spider had slowed down too. When he slowed down even more, so did the tarantula. Finally, Ray came to a stop and so did the spider.

Ray stood there, looking at the beast, completely puzzled. When he had rested a bit he moved forward and so did the spider. Ray was not in the habit of swearing, but he admitted thinking at the time … well, I’ll be damned. When he increased his pace, so did the spider.

Eventually, a few trees came into view and thankful for the cool of the shade, Ray decided to take a break. He was no longer scared of the spider, as it seemed it meant him no harm.

It was no surprise to him that when he rested under the trees, so did the spider. But this time, when he moved further away the spider remained where it was. Ray moved further and further away, but still, the tarantula did not move. After a while, Ray went on his way and the spider stayed behind.

When he got home and told his family about the spider, his mother nodded with understanding. 

“You seem to know why the spider was following me,” Ray commented.

“Of course I do,” his mother said. “The tarantula was hot and was walking in your shadow to stay cool. You said so yourself that as soon as you got to the trees, the spider didn’t follow you anymore.”

It made perfect sense. The tarantula had walked in Ray’s shadow the whole time and increased its pace when he ran faster and slowed down when he slowed down. As soon as they reached the trees it found another source of shade and didn’t need him anymore.

Ray didn’t like spiders but he had to admit, it was a rather ingenious trick and proved that spiders are smarter than he thought. 

The fact of the matter is, Ray said, spiders are more afraid of us than we are of them.

Somehow I seriously doubt that. As I mentioned earlier I’m terrified of them and I have quite a few spider stories. But that’s for another day.

Thank God I was awake

Some claim that Thanksgiving was celebrated in Canada as far back as 1578 when Martin Frobisher survived a long journey in his quest to find a northern passage from Europe to Asia. Others state Canadian Thanksgiving wasn’t properly observed until 1957 when it was established that this holiday would be celebrated on the second Monday of October.

https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/canada/thanksgiving-day

Personally, I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Being born and raised in Belgium, the holiday doesn’t mean anything to me. Other than that, I’m not fond of the traditional food … turkey.

That being said, that doesn’t mean that I’m not thankful for a number of things. Family, a few good friends, a great number of acquaintances, a reasonably good health, and life in general. We should always keep in mind … no matter how bad it gets, there’s always someone who is worse of.

As for giving thanks … yesterday I did exclaim “Thank God.”

Let me explain.

After going to bed, I prepared for half an hour or so of reading. Reading helps me relax. Propped up against two pillows I picked up my Kindle (I’m getting quite used to electronic reading) and continued with “The Melody Lingers On” From Mary Higgins Clark. An excellent read by the way.

Suddenly, through my eyelashes, I saw something. When I looked up I saw that it was a medium sized spider coming down from the ceiling on an almost invisible thread.

Good Lord, with considerable speed I scrambled out bed all the while calling for my son, “Dieter … Dieter … DIETER!”

He could hear that something was wrong, so he quickly pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and came to my room.

“Look, a spider,” I said, “Go get a shoe.”

Even though there are plenty of shoes in my room, but Dieter went to go get one of his own.

The spider, perhaps knowing of his imminent demise, didn’t waste time. While it has almost reached the duvet of my bed, it quickly clambered back up again on his thread. So fast was he that by the time Dieter came back with a shoe, the spider was back on the ceiling.

Dieter climbed on my bed, aimed the shoe at the spider and … true to male form, he missed and the spider fell on the duvet. This had me screaming in panic. If the spider couldn’t be found, I could never sleep in this bed again.

Fortunately, the nasty creature was spotted and Dieter proceeded to knock the spider over the head again and again until it was dead and I said, “Thank God I was still awake.”

Can you imagine if I had gone to sleep without reading a few pages of my book first? That monster would have come down from the ceiling and landed on my bed, free to wander around. Eeeeewwwww!!!!!

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Why do people do this?

I nearly suffered a heart attack this morning.

There I was, checking Facebook updates on my phone. Alex shared a little something from her garden, Grace posted a political comment, Norleen showed a beautiful cat moment.

I casually scrolled down when suddenly … EIH !!! (loud scream) there was a picture, posted by Lisa B, of an ugly spider (is there such a thing as a beautiful spider?).

My phone went flying. Literally, I got such a fright of seeing this ugly monster, and was so disgusted by it, that I threw the phone away from me as far as I could. Fortunately, it went sailing in the direction of the sofa where it landed with a soft thud (after hitting Dieter’s knee).

And I wondered … why do people do this? The majority of folks are afraid of spiders, so why post pictures of them?

Anyway, along with the picture, Lisa B. posted the question if anybody knew what kind of spider this was. And I thought … WHO CARES?

I do realize that spiders play an important role in nature, and if I see one outside I wouldn’t harm it in any way, but if a spider dares to set one or all of its eight feet in my house … it’s toast.

As such, in my opinion, there are only two ways to deal with a spider … squash it, or suck it up with a vacuum cleaner. Not that I perform either of these options myself. I scream, run away, and let someone else take care of the monster.

Some might say that there is another option … treating the spider to an anti-bug spray. All I can say about that is … it doesn’t work. Bug spray might work on ants and other little critters, but spiders … they just pretend to be dead.

Many years ago I came across a spider on the kitchen floor. Since I was home alone I realized I had to do something before the spider took off to a place we’d never find it. So after I had recovered from the initial shock, I grabbed a can of bug repellent and sprayed so much on the spider I nearly gassed myself.

The spider lay there, curled up in a ball. Now all I had to do was get the dustpan and a brush, sweep up the body and get rid of it. Could I do that? No, I couldn’t. I tried, I honestly tried but I couldn’t bring myself to brushing op the black ball.

And then I got an idea … I would vacuum it up. With a vacuum I wouldn’t have to go near the spider, I could use the long metal hose and do the deed from a safe distance.

Off I went to get the vacuum cleaner, plugged in it and dragged it into the kitchen. Much to my surprise to spider was gone. The bloody thing had bided its time for me to leave the room, unfolded its legs and ran off.

For days I looked for the spider, but it seemed to have disappeared. As such, I can only assume that it went outside for some fresh air. Which is fine by me. Outside is where spiders belong.

Which also leaves me wondering about their Creator. If He can create animals so cute and adorable like kittens and bunnies, why make spiders so frightening? A sense of humor perhaps?

www.connymanero.weebly.com

A funny story about a spider

Blogging inspiration is running a little low these days, so a friend suggested that I dig into past experiences and share some of those.

Not a bad idea. So I thought about it and at first I came up with nothing. And then I saw the name Ray, and that gave me an idea … a story about a spider.

Don’t panic, I’m not going to tell you some frightening story. Quite the contrary, I’m going to tell you a funny story.

A funny story about a spider? I can imagine you have your doubts. The words spider and funny don’t exactly fit each other. And you’re right, I’m the first one to agree … spiders are a lot of things, but funny they are not.

Personally I’m terrified of the ugly creatures, but I’m also fascinated by them. So let someone mention the word spider and I’m all ears. And this is where Ray comes in. Ray told me a funny story about a spider. Not just any spider either, a tarantula.

If you have doubts about the authenticity of the story, I can tell you right now, it’s not a lie. Ray was a reverend and in all the years I knew him, I never caught him in a lie, big or small. So here it goes …

It happened a long time ago, when Ray was still a boy in a school in Barberton, (South Africa).  He was on his way home, on a particularly hot day in December, walking a dusty road, flanked by fields of corn.

At one point, he got the distinct impression that he was being followed; but, when he looked over his shoulder there was nobody there.  He walked a few meters more and looked back again, but no, he was all alone.  Or so he thought.

After yet another couple of meters he turned around again, but this time he looked down and saw that an enormous tarantula was about three meters away from him.  Ray took off like an Olympic sprinter, despite the heat and the poor condition of the road.

When he looked behind him, hopeful to be as far away from the spider as possible, he noticed to his surprise that the eight legged monster was following him, sprinting with all its might.  Ray recalled running even harder, panting, and praying for help.  (Even back then he was very religious) and he fully expected help.

When no help came and Ray’s heart, lungs and legs could no longer keep up the tempo, he knew had to slow down.  But he did not want to slow down.  He had to get away from that brown haired spider that was still following him!

Eventually, he had no choice.  The temperature must have been a scalding 43 degrees C (110 degrees F), and his body was giving out.  Expecting that the tarantula would be upon him within seconds, he looked back and noticed that the tarantula had slowed down too.  Weird he thought, and he slowed down his pace even more and the tarantula did the same.  Finally, Ray came to a dead stop and so did the spider.

Ray stood there, looking at the beast, completely puzzled.  When he had rested a bit, he moved forward.  As he moved, so did the spider.  Ray was not in the habit of swearing, but he admitted thinking at the time “Well I’ll be damned.”   When he increased his pace, the spider again mimicked his movement.

Eventually a couple of trees came into view, and thankful for the cool of the shade, Ray decided to take a break.  He was no longer scared of the spider, as it seemed to mean him no harm; but, he was rather fed up with it.  He did not seem to be able to get rid of the hairy beast.

It was no surprise to him that when he got to the trees and stopped, so did the spider.

But this time, when he moved further down under the trees, the tarantula remained where it was.  Ray moved further and further, but still the tarantula did not move.  After a while Ray went on his way, and the spider stayed behind.

When he got home, and told his family about the spider, his mother nodded with understanding.  “You seem to know why the spider was following me,” Ray commented.

“Of course I do,” his mother said.  “The tarantula was hot and was walking in your shadow to stay cool.  You said so yourself that as soon as you got to the trees, the spider didn’t follow you anymore.”

It made perfect sense.  The tarantula had walked in Ray’s shadow the whole time and had increased its pace when he increased his pace, and had slowed down when he had slowed down.  As soon as they had reached the trees it found another source of shade and did not need him anymore.

Ray did not like spiders, but he had to admit, it was a rather ingenious trick, and proved that they were much smarter creatures than he had previously thought.  Ray also used this story as a spiritual lesson.   People too often want to think the worst of others, especially if their appearance is different.   We suspect negative intentions when there really aren’t any intended.  

Now when you see a spider remember, not every one of them is out to get you.  In fact, most will do everything they can to get out of your way.

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The spider

Halloween is coming, so for the next three days my blog entry will be scary.  Halloween used to be about ghosts, goblins and witches, bats and crows.  Lately though, spiders have been added to the cast, which gives me the creeps.

I do, however, have good story about a spider, but for obvious reasons there will be no accompanying picture today.  I suffer, and I do mean suffer, from arachnophobia.

The following is a true story my grandmother told me ...

It was 1929, and my grandmother's neighbors had found a spider in their house. But not just any spider, this was a creature of monstrous proportions. If rumors were to be believed, this beast was the size of a dinner plate.

The neighbors, unable or unwilling to kill the spider, had caught it and deposited it in an empty aquarium. They even turned it into a little business. Whoever wanted to see the amazing spider had to pay a small fee.

At first my grandmother had claimed to have no interest in the spider; but finally, curiosity got the better of her and she, too, went off to have a look at the monster. After paying the fee, she was admitted to the parlor where the spider was in residence.

Grandmother, a woman who was not easily shaken, came back shivering all over.

"It really is a monster," she reported to all willing to listen. "Black and hairy, and so big it wouldn't fit on a dinner plate. And it has eyes and a mouth."

"Well of course spiders have eyes and a mouth," one of her listeners said. "How else would they see and eat?"

"Knowing that they have eyes and a mouth is one thing," grandmother said. "Actually seeing those black beady eyes and black thin mouth is quite another."

"You saw the mouth?" another listener asked.

"Well, I didn't actually see the mouth," grandma confessed, "but a pencil lead was dropped into the tank, and the spider bit it in two. I swear it! I saw it with my own two eyes."

By now more people wanted to see the spider, but the very next day the neighbors had bad news ... the spider was gone.
"WHAT?" was the general reaction.

Suddenly the whole street, neighborhood, and city lived in fear.  Most of them were not afraid of a spider, but this was no average spider, this was a creature of horror. Everybody searched high and low, but the spider could not be found.

Meanwhile in a local pub, Janet, one of the customers, reported that she had been hearing the sound of a bell, but when she went to open the front door, there was nobody there.  At first she smiled, thinking the neighborhood kids were playing a trick on her, but after the 5th or 6th trip to the front door, the game wasn't funny anymore.

"Take me to your house," a man dressed as a sailor commanded the woman.  When she spluttered in protest the sailor held up his hand and went on "Madam, I have a strong suspicion that the spider that was discussed earlier is in your house."

Janet didn't need telling twice.  She immediately made her way home, with the sailor and several others in tow.  At the precise moment that Janet and the sailor walked into the house, a wall mirror that was suspended at an angle by an inch thick twine cable came crushing down.  On the wall at the other end of the cable sat the incredible spider.

Once again the sound of a bell chimed through the house, but this time the sailor commanded Janet to remain where she was, not to move an inch, and not panic.

Meanwhile he slowly produced a knife and in one fluent motion threw the knife in the direction of the spider. The knife hit and pinned the spider in place.

As the sailor explained, the spider must have been there for weeks as it had bit by bit chewed its way through the thick twine cable.  Chiming like a doorbell was its way of communicating fear and frustration.  As long as it was hidden by the mirror, the spider had been at ease, but once exposed the spider had chimed in anger and would have jumped and could have killed someone.

When asked how come he knew so much about spiders, the sailor confessed that it was probably his fault to begin with that this spider had ended up in civilization.  A few weeks ago he had returned from South America, and he guessed the spider had been a stowaway in his suitcase.

The dead bug was taken away by the fire department and donated to the zoo where it was put on display.