How close it too close

Many years ago, taking a picture took time and a good deal of precision. Film and developing wasn’t exactly cheap and people couldn’t afford to waste their shots.

With the digital camera, shooting images became a whole lot easier. If a shot went wrong, the image could just be deleted. Still, not everyone carried a camera with him and beautiful opportunities were often missed.

With the arrival of the camera-equipped cellphone, amateur photographers were in seventh heaven, they could now photograph anything and everything to their heart’s content. I’m one of those people.

Animals are by far my favorite subject. Not only do they not mind being photographed, they don’t fuss that they have they change their outfit, brush their hair, or touch up makeup. One can capture them any time of the day, whether when they just get up or about to go to sleep and they always look good.

Over the years I’ve snapped hundreds of pictures of various pets and not one has ever complained about how he or she looks.

Other than pets I’ve photographed other creatures too: ostriches, ducks, swans, pigeons, raccoons, squirrels and even butterflies (if they would sit still long enough).

Today I wanted to take advantage of one of the last warm days of the year and decided to have my lunch in the swing set on the balcony. When I got there, plate of spaghetti and glass of juice in hand, I noticed that someone (or shall I say something) had the same idea as me.

Right smack in the middle of the swing set sat a bug. It wasn’t a big fly, and it wasn’t a bee or a wasp, it was something else. It was black and grey, with six legs and wings. It wasn’t a dragonfly, it was smaller than that but still big enough to make me think twice of sitting next to it or shooing it away.

So I did the next best thing … I got my phone and was going to snap a picture of it. Phone in hand I came back outside and aimed the lens. The view wasn’t good enough so I zoomed in.

Apparently, the bug was camera shy because it slightly moved. Sit still, I thought, just sit still long enough for me to get this shot so I can show you on Facebook.

Suddenly the lens went black, I didn’t see a thing anymore.

I turned my phone over to find out what the problem was, and right there, on the lens sat the bug. He must have thought … You want a close up, I’ll give you a close up.

With a blood-curdling scream, I threw the phone from my hands. Fortunately, my phone landed on the seat of the swing set. Unfortunately, I’ll never know what this UFB (unidentified flying bug) was.

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Why do people do this?

I nearly suffered a heart attack this morning.

There I was, checking Facebook updates on my phone. Alex shared a little something from her garden, Grace posted a political comment, Norleen showed a beautiful cat moment.

I casually scrolled down when suddenly … EIH !!! (loud scream) there was a picture, posted by Lisa B, of an ugly spider (is there such a thing as a beautiful spider?).

My phone went flying. Literally, I got such a fright of seeing this ugly monster, and was so disgusted by it, that I threw the phone away from me as far as I could. Fortunately, it went sailing in the direction of the sofa where it landed with a soft thud (after hitting Dieter’s knee).

And I wondered … why do people do this? The majority of folks are afraid of spiders, so why post pictures of them?

Anyway, along with the picture, Lisa B. posted the question if anybody knew what kind of spider this was. And I thought … WHO CARES?

I do realize that spiders play an important role in nature, and if I see one outside I wouldn’t harm it in any way, but if a spider dares to set one or all of its eight feet in my house … it’s toast.

As such, in my opinion, there are only two ways to deal with a spider … squash it, or suck it up with a vacuum cleaner. Not that I perform either of these options myself. I scream, run away, and let someone else take care of the monster.

Some might say that there is another option … treating the spider to an anti-bug spray. All I can say about that is … it doesn’t work. Bug spray might work on ants and other little critters, but spiders … they just pretend to be dead.

Many years ago I came across a spider on the kitchen floor. Since I was home alone I realized I had to do something before the spider took off to a place we’d never find it. So after I had recovered from the initial shock, I grabbed a can of bug repellent and sprayed so much on the spider I nearly gassed myself.

The spider lay there, curled up in a ball. Now all I had to do was get the dustpan and a brush, sweep up the body and get rid of it. Could I do that? No, I couldn’t. I tried, I honestly tried but I couldn’t bring myself to brushing op the black ball.

And then I got an idea … I would vacuum it up. With a vacuum I wouldn’t have to go near the spider, I could use the long metal hose and do the deed from a safe distance.

Off I went to get the vacuum cleaner, plugged in it and dragged it into the kitchen. Much to my surprise to spider was gone. The bloody thing had bided its time for me to leave the room, unfolded its legs and ran off.

For days I looked for the spider, but it seemed to have disappeared. As such, I can only assume that it went outside for some fresh air. Which is fine by me. Outside is where spiders belong.

Which also leaves me wondering about their Creator. If He can create animals so cute and adorable like kittens and bunnies, why make spiders so frightening? A sense of humor perhaps?

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