Day 73: Who’s the boss … the parents or the child?

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 73: Who’s the boss … the parents or the child?

The question ‘Should parents be allowed to smack their child?’ was recently posted on Facebook. A string of comments followed. The younger generation was against corporal punishment, the older generation saw nothing wrong with it.

I see nothing wrong with it either. When a child misbehaves, how else are parents to exercise discipline? Some might say that sending a child to their room is punishment. What a joke that is. Most kids have plenty of entertainment in their bedroom, so what do they care if they have to spend an extra couple of hours there.

Back in my day, we feared our parents. Dad never hit, he had the hands of a boxer and feared his own strength. So mam was the one to watch out for. She didn’t hit often, but when she did it was usually deserved. Sometimes she didn’t even have to hit, she just had to give us 'the look' and we knew we were skating on thin ice.

Just as a picture is worth a thousand words, so is one smack. Parents can talk and talk to their kids until the cows come home and the words will go in one ear and out the other. Raise your hand though and kids will know you mean business. Without this kind of discipline, parental authority has become a joke and kids become hooligans. They know that parents can’t lay a hand on them, and they take full advantage of it.

Just how little authority parents have over their kids became clear yesterday.

I was in the waiting room of St. Michael’s Family Practice where a sign was on display reading:

“For the sake of other patient’s health, please wear a mask if you are coughing or experiencing any other signs of a cold. Thank you.”

A woman in her late twenties walked in with a small boy. I’m guessing the child was four or five years old. While the mother registered, the boy – who had a bad cough - took a seat in the waiting room.  When she was finished with the receptionist, the woman called her boy so she could fit him with a mask. He refused.

She explained to him that because he had a cough, he had to wear a mask. Again, he refused. The woman’s response … okay then.

The boy spent about 15 minutes in the waiting room, coughing his head off. This annoyed me to no end. When adults give a tiny cough or sneeze, they are forced to wear a mask before they can sit in the waiting room, but here was this obviously sick child and he was free to spread his germs wherever he pleased. And not only was he coughing, not once did the mother tell him to keep his hand in front of his mouth. Now that’s just bad parenting. If this had been my child, he would have worn a mask whether he liked it or not.

Later on, as mother and son were preparing to leave, something equally annoying happened. As they were putting on their coats, the mother asked the son “How do you want to go home? By cab or by subway?”  Who the hell cares what the kid wants. She is the mother. She makes the decisions. Whatever next? Will she ask him what time he wants to go to bed? Or what she can watch on TV?

On the subway, on the way home I met another annoying mother and child. This mother was also in her late twenties with a kid of about three years old. He came running onto the train and headed straight for the seat next to me. Instead of sitting down, he clambered onto the seat and sat on his knees to look out the back window. Now much to see except for a dark tunnel, but okay.

I wouldn’t have minded, except that he couldn’t sit still for more than 10 seconds, and every time he twisted and turned he wiped his filthy wet boots on my pants.

What annoyed me about this woman was, not only did she not discipline her child, she was paying no attention to him, she was too busy texting. Eventually, when she took a break from her phone, I gave her ‘the look’ and it worked like a charm. She could see that I've had it with her brat and if she didn't take charge of the situation, I would.

On the other hand, I encountered no less than three Oriental couples with their child and not a word of a lie, all three children – ranging from 3 to 6 years old – were perfectly behaved. No screaming, no running, no squirming in their seat. They sat quietly next to their parents, keenly observing what went on around them. I have no idea whether they were Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Vietnamese, but it seems to me Western parents can learn a thing or two from their Asian counterparts.

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Do dating sites work?

In their quest to find Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now, or Mr. You’ll-do-until-someone-better-comes-along, more and more women turn to dating sites.  (Obviously, the same applies to men)

It’s a smart move I suppose.  There’s no need to wait for a guy to approach them, no need to suffer their pick-up lines, or go on a series of first dates that may or may not be enjoyable.  

Women (and men) can pick and choose between a series of candidates and get to know them in relative anonymity.

But do these dating sites work? 

John doesn’t think so.  He’s been a member of Match.com for some time now and is far from happy with their services.  He sends out winks and either gets nothing in return or someone winks back and wants to chat. 

Either the chat leads to nothing or the girl of his choice provides her email address and website, which turns out to be a porn site.  She’s not looking for a potential boyfriend, she looking for a client.

In addition to not attracting the right type of girls, John and other members of Match.com have their doubts about the site.  Toward the end of their membership or when they’re no longer a member, they suddenly get winks from pretty girls.  Who can resist?  When they become a member, or renew their membership, the girl in question mysteriously disappeared.  

Could these “ghost girls” be a way of attracting members?

Other sites, like Lavalife and eHarmony seem to be operating much the same way.  Especially Lavalife, who appears to be the favourite of girls aiming to attract clients.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you really need dating sites to meet potential boyfriends/girlfriends?  How about smiling at someone and see what happens?  How about just walking up to someone and making small talk? Girls are everywhere.  They’re in grocery stores, at the gym, in book stores and their absolute favorite … hardware stores.

Why do you think girls linger at the power tool department?  They’re not interested in drills and saws, they’re waiting for the right operator.

If all else fails, visit a shoe store … you know how fond girls are of shoes, right?  Gentlemen, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.   

For thousands of years men and women have found partners without the convenience of the internet.  Instead of paying a monthly fee to a dating site, why not just ask your family how they managed to get hooked up?

Predators in chat rooms

I admit, I spend a fair amount of time on Facebook playing Bingo. While the game is nice and relaxing, interacting with other players from all over the world in the chat rooms is often funny and uplifting. That is, until some nut job starts making sexual comments or innuendos. 

When this happens, members in the chat room are quick to give the sex talker the cold shoulder, tell him his comments are not welcome, or report him for offensive language.

Yes, men are often thought of as being sexual predators and women are advised to exercise caution on websites and chat rooms. But what if the sexual predator is a woman or a young girl?

This week someone by the name of Nikki entered the room. She greeted everyone with a “Hi” and for the longest time remained quiet. That is, until someone by the name of Adam made an appearance. Nikki’s interest was sparked and she latched on.

She started by asking Adam how old he was. He replied “24”. Her next question was “Where are you from?” to which Adam replied “London, UK”.

Nikki, obviously not a geography expert, asked where that was. She then said that she was from Alabama.

After some mindless chatting, Nikki asked Adam if she could be his girlfriend. Adam did not answer.

For the next five minutes Nikki posted comments such as “Adam are yu there?” and “Adam why dont you talk to me anymoor?”

Eventually Adam came back and asked how old Nikki was. First she pretended to be 22, but eventually she admitted to being 11. Adam must have heard alarm bells and seen red flags because for the next while he didn’t post any comments.

For a while Nikki kept up her mindless chatter, to which nobody replied to. She got annoyed and posted “If nobode wants to talk to me thats fine. Thats there choice. Im so bored.”

I half expected someone in the room would suggest that Nikki study English spelling and grammar, but apparently everyone was too polite to point out Nikki’s mistakes.

When Adam (who we all thought had left the chat room) won the 2nd price in Bingo his name and picture flashed across the screen and Nikki shot into action. “Adam, why are yu ignoring me?” – “I mis you” – “Do you mis me?” – “Pleese contact me, my email adres is ......”.

Adam didn’t respond and Nikki wasn’t having it. “Adam Im talking to yu” – “anser me, did yu rite my email adres down?” – “I want to heer from yu, I want to your girlfriend”.

Adam couldn’t be persuaded. Whether he left the chat room or merely ignored Nikki, we’ll never know but there were no more post from him.

Nikki then proceeded to telling the room that she was looking at shirtless pictures of Justin Bieber. One woman commented if Nikki wasn’t a little young for that and Nikki let fly with a series of insults and swear words which were censored by the chat room. At this point I had enough of Nikki’s silliness and left the room.

The next day I played Bingo again and found myself in the same room as Jasmine. Jasmine stated that she was getting married in three weeks and that she was desperate for a fling before tying the knot. Would any man please contact her at ... (she gave her email address).

If some men are predators, it would seem that some women are too. The strange thing was that while women remained silent, men cautioned Jasmine about giving out her private information. They were rewarded by the comment “Mind your own business grandpa”.