Day 90: Sharing a bed with cats

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 90: Sharing a bed with cats

I’m quite sure that cat lovers are familiar with cats sleeping on their bed. They curl up in the middle of it, at the foot end, or snuggle between the pillows. Seeing them fast asleep is cute and we don’t want to wake them.

It’s a different story when we want to go to sleep and there is no room for us to get into bed, or to get comfortable.

Take last night for instance. It was 1:00 a.m., I wanted to go to sleep, but … there were four cats on my bed. 

Halley got up when she saw me coming, but Charlotte, Holly and Greyson gave no sign of moving.

Somehow I managed to squeeze myself under the duvet and lay down. That is to say, I tried to get into a comfortable position, but I but couldn’t stretch out because Greyson and Charlotte were side by side at the foot end of the bed.

Holly, who was on the other side of the bed, lifted her head and glared at me as if to say … you woke me up. 'Sorry,' I whispered, and she went back to sleep.

When my legs cramped up, I ever so carefully stretched them out, my feet under Greyson and Charlotte. If you think those two moved, think again. I got absolutely no reaction.

Still not comfortable, I moved my feet from here to there, causing Charlotte and Greyson to bounce and roll around a bit. Charlotte didn’t care, she was obviously of the opinion … go with the flow, but Greyson eventually lifted his head. The message he sent me was clear … do you mind, we’re trying to sleep. Yeah well, so was I.

About ten minutes later Greyson got up and came to kiss me goodnight, as he does every night. A kiss on my right cheek, a kiss on my left cheek and another kiss on my right cheek. Next, he lay down on my chest. “Greyson you have to move,” I told him. “You’re too heavy.” I wasn’t kidding, Greyson weighs a good 20 lbs and is as such quite heavy. Fine, he moved.

As I turned on my side, he moved with me and curled up against my chest, right under my chin. Now I had a different problem … his whiskers were tickling my nose and cheek. When that brought on a sneeze attack, Greyson had the good sense to move.

Now it was Charlotte’s turn. She got up from the foot end of the bed and joined me under the duvet. She stretched out behind me and I prepared for sleep. Well, that didn’t work at all. Every time I moved, I got a kick in my back.

Meanwhile, Holly who slept on my other side had finally drifted off and produced all kinds of sound effects. Don’t imagine a gentle purring, she was snoring, sputtering and sighing.

Sleeping with cats, I tell ya, it’s no joke. It's a shame I don't fit into one of their cat baskets. Maybe I would find some peace and quiet there.

    

Day 79: My cats and cat grass

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 79: My cats and cat grass

I was queuing with my groceries at a deli yesterday when I noticed cat grass by till. I decided to add some to my purchases.

Once home I announced to Charlotte, Holly, Halley, and Greyson that I had something for them. They eyed the bag and I didn’t keep them in suspense. With a flourish, I pulled out the cat grass and said: “Ta-da, for you.” They looked at it, not quite understanding.

When I placed the tub of cat grass on the floor, they approached it with caution. What was it? What were they supposed to do with it? Was it friendly? “It’s cat grass,” I said, “you’re supposed to chew it.” None of them showed any inclination of doing that.

Curiosity got the better of them though and one by one they came to have a nibble. Greyson was the first one to risk it and when Charlotte, Holly, and Halley saw that he was fine they risked it too.

If I thought they would love the cat grass, I was sadly mistaken, they weren’t particularly crazy about it. When they did have a nibble it was with an attitude of ... okay, you bought it, we’ll eat it to make you happy. So much for that idea.

When the grass started to look a little ‘depressed’ I figured it needed fresh air and sunlight, so I put it out on the balcony. A short time later Greyson and Halley went to take a look.

Judging by the look on their faces, they seemed to have a conversation with me:

You want me to eat that?

 You're joking, right?

At that precise moment, a falcon flew overhead and got Halley's full attention ... I'd rather have that.

Moments later, a finch landed on a feeding tray and Halley seemed to think ... or that.

Yeah well, she couldn't have either. The falcon would have her for lunch and as for the finch ... that little thing was just skin and bones.

I don't know about other cat owners but I can't seem to win with mine. I buy them toys, they don't play with them; I buy them quality food, they don't eat it; now I buy them cat grass and they're not interested.

I give up.

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Day 74: Those two would test the patience of an angel

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 74: Those two would test the patience of an angel

You’ve probably seen them on the road … dogs in booties, cats with a sweater on, or some other ridiculous outfit.

For starters, I’ve never understood how the owners of these pets managed to make their cat or dog keep those garments on.

Back when I was a kid, I spend the better part of an afternoon knitting socks for my cat, Pitoe. When the socks were finished, I put them on Pitoe’s paws, or shall I say … tried to put them on his paws. He was of the opinion that he didn’t need socks and he made that very clear. I was of the opinion that he did need socks and commandeered the situation with a great deal of perseverance.

In the process I ended up with more than one scratch, but in the end Pitoe had his socks on. Or so I thought. No sooner had I put Pitoe on the floor than he started shaking his paws … front left, front right, back left, back right … the socks went flying. So much for that idea.

Over the years I tried a few dress ups with my cats, but none of them were particularly thrilled with the idea, so no more of that nonsense.

However, now I’m having a change of heart.

Last night Halley and Greyson wanted to go out. They’re used to going out on the balcony. It’s understandable, they’re locked inside the apartment all day, so when we come home they can’t wait to get some fresh air.

Unfortunately, it’s no longer July when the air is warm, it’s October and the air is just a bit too fresh for me. When the balcony door is open, within no time the living room turns rather chilly. Not that the chilly temperature bothers Halley and Greyson. Take yesterday for instance.

As soon as we came home, Halley and Greyson took their position by the balcony door … they wanted out. Fine, they were let out. They jumped on the ledge of the (safety netted) balcony and looked at the construction workers down below, the cars that came and went in the parking lot, the pigeons and seagulls that swooped overhead, and the finches who came to peck at the bird food.

After a while I called them in but neither of them was willing. "Halley, Greyson, it’s cold, come inside!” I said with more urgency. They responded with a firm, no. “Fine,” I said, “knock when you want to come in.” Since it was getting cold in the living room I closed the door. Two minutes later Halley scratched at the glass, she wanted to come in, Greyson in her wake.

I opened the door, the two of them walked in, I closed the door.

Before long they wanted to go out again. I opened the door, they walked out, I closed the door.

When next I let them in, their paws and fur was cold. That’s when I started considering getting them each a sweater and some booties.

And so it went … in, out, in, out, in, out, in.

“You’re in and now you’re staying in,” I told them as I yet again had to get up to open and close the balcony door. When next Halley scratched to go out, I held firm. Enough was enough.

But I had reckoned without Halley’s determination. Now when she wanted out she didn’t just scratch the glass, she went into turbo overdrive. I lasted for less than one minute before getting up with an “Alright then, I’m coming.” 

Eventually though I had to put a stop to this. When next she scratched to be let out, I got up. Not to let her out but to give her a piece of my mind. "Halley," I said, "this has to stop. You've been in and out all night. It's late, it's dark and it's cold. Now stop it and go to sleep!" And would you believe it, it worked. She turned tail and went to bed. 

I should have yelled sooner.

Day 60: Poor Greyson

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 60: Poor Greyson

Greyson is upset with me, and for good reason. If he could talk, he would say that he suffered a mild case of animal abuse. Not once, but twice. Here’s what happened.

Tonight I came home from work and together with Dieter I made the beds. The duvet was folded three quarters over the bed to give the bed a chance to air. In order to straighten the bottom sheet, we threw the duvet off the bed and heard a ... clonk.

Moments later, Greyson appeared from under the duvet with a face that asked ... what’d you do that for? The poor thing, by throwing the duvet on the floor we inadvertently threw Greyson to the floor who lay napping under the folder duvet. I wanted to pick him up and tell him how sorry I was, but he was having none of it.

As if once wasn’t enough, a short time later we had another accident.

I went to my room to fold the laundry. That’s when I noticed a black sock on the floor, sticking out from under my bed. I bend to pick up the sock and heard an angry ... meow!!! That's when I realized, the black sock wasn’t a black sock but Greyson’s dark, fluffy tail.

In my defense, the room was rather dark and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. If I had, I would have seen the difference between a sock and a cat’s tail, but as I said, I didn't wear glasses. 

I crouched in front of the bed and noticed two amber eyes glaring at me. In response to my “Sorry baby, I didn’t know it was your tail,” Greyson turned his back on me.

Halley who had heard Greyson’s meow, in protest of me pulling his tail came running into the bedroom. She dived under the bed to comfort Greyson and no doubt plotting revenge. I could just imagine it, Halley stating ... don’t worry brother, I’ve got your back.” And she did.

About an hour later I went to the bathroom and as usual, Halley came with me. She positioned herself on the corner of the vanity table. On the vanity table also stood a new toilet roll. While I wasn’t looking, Halley inched closer to the roll and with her front paw deftly knocked the roll in the toilet.

Well, I never. And it wasn’t cheap toilet paper either, it was Charmin paper. After I fished the roll out of the (clean) water it was only good for one thing ... the bin.

I can only guess what those two have in store for me tonight. After these two cases of minor abuse, they no doubt will make me pay.

My guess is that Halley will come and sit on me, and she’s not exactly a light cat. Greyson from his side will wait until I drift off to sleep before sticking his cold wet nose in my ear and start purring, followed by licking my nose.

Lesson learned. From now on, before throwing the duvet off the bed, I will check that no cat is napping underneath it and when I see a black sock on the floor, I will make sure that it is indeed a sock and not a tail.

I’m sure that those of you with cats can relate.

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Day 55: Fall - beautiful or depressing?

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 55: Fall - beautiful or depressing?

It’s September, the month fall starts and with it the most depressing time of the year.

Some see beauty in the fall, I’m not one of them. Sure, the foliage in fall is beautiful but look beyond the colors and you’ll realize that the leaves are dying and soon after that rotting.

Everything is dying ... the trees, the shrubbery, and the flowers. For months the world will be devoid of color. No more green trees offering shade on a hot day. No more bright red geraniums, playfully pink petunias, or yellow and purple smiling pansie faces. No more anything.

Winter at least offers the beauty of snow and ice. 

While it might be cold, falling snow or gazing upon a white landscape can be a source of joy. But what joy is there to be found in the fall?

Even more depressing is the temperature. Warm days are a thing of the past. It’s only September 8th and I’m already sitting with a sweater on. 

Last year was very different. The air conditioning in our condo building was switched off in the second week of September and the residents descended on the management office un mass. They asked, pleaded and begged the building manager to turn the air-conditioning back on because it was stifling hot in their units.

Not this year. The air-conditioning unit hasn’t been on for days, instead of shorts I’m wearing jeans, instead of sandals I’ve reached for socks and slippers, and as mentioned earlier, I’m wearing a sweater.

Halley and Greyson aren’t bothered by the sudden chill in the air. As you can see, they continue to nap in the balcony swing. 

Yesterday I thought it a little too chilly for Halley to be outside, so I covered her with a blanket. She stayed and continued to snooze. That is, until Greyson came along and started trampling all over her.

Fall ... I guess we'll just have to put up with it. In another six months, it will be spring again.

_________________________

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Day 52: I’m gonna be a millionaire

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 52: I’m gonna be a millionaire

It’s Friday. That means Lotto Max day and I just bought a ticket for tonight’s drawing. The jackpot … $50 million.

I have a good feeling about the drawing. More than a good feeling, I feel confident that lady luck is smiling at me. Then again, I had the same feeling last week.

I bought a Lotto Max ticket, and as I walked home the song on my phone played ‘I want it all’ by Queen. All the way home, I had that song playing in my head … I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now!’ I did want it all, and I did want it now. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t get anything.

This week is different though. I think this week I stand an excellent chance of winning. They say shards bring luck and there have been shards this week. First, I cut my finger on a broken glass, and then yesterday Greyson did his bit.

It was an evening like any other evening, Dieter and I worked on our computers while Halley and Greyson raced laps around the house. Occasionally they would make a pit stop to catch their breath, only to switch on their turbo and start up again.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and while Halley dived under the nearest bed, Greyson came charging into the living room, Dieter and I flew out of our seats like to perfectly synchronized athletes.

At first, we didn’t see anything wrong, but when we checked the bathroom … ah yes, there we found the porcelain toilet holder in pieces. 

If I was to guess, I would say that during the race Grayson’s backside fishtailed causing the rug in the hallway to hit the bathroom door. The door must have hit the toilet roll holder causing the toilet roll holder to make contact with the ceramic tiles on the bathroom wall. Either way, the toilet roll holder was no more.

So between my broken glass and Greyson’s broken toilet roll holder, there have been plenty of shards and thus I think I stand an excellent chance of winning the Lotto Max jackpot.

I do wonder about these Lotto games though. There’s Lotto 6/49, Lotto Max, Daily Grand, Ontario 49, Lottario, Poker Lotto, Wheel of Fortune Lotto, Megadice Lotto, and a few more and yet I’ve never met anyone who has won anything any of significance. So where are all those lucky players?

Personally, I’ve been playing for 21 years. Isn’t it time that my ship finally came in? I could do so much good with some extra cash. I’m not gonna say if I win the lottery, I’m gonna say when I win the lottery and tonight is the night.

Dag 48: Halley and the little bird

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Dag 48: Halley and the little bird

To feed the wild birds, we hang a seed bell on the outside of the balcony netting. Morning, noon and evening various birds land on the bell and peck to their heart's content.

While some birds eat in peace and quiet, there is one little fellow who’s a real loudmouth. He’s the smallest bird that visits the bell, but he can be heard all over the place. Whether I’m in the kitchen, bathroom or bedroom, when he visits I know about it.

Unfortunately, I’m not the only one who hears him, so do the cats. While Charlotte and Holly couldn’t care less, Greyson and Halley run like hell when they hear of his arrival.

If you think the little bird is scared of the cats, think again, he sits there on the bell, taunting Halley and Greyson. It’s like he knows they can’t get to him and he takes full advantage of it.

Today was no different, the loudmouth got hungry, paid a visit to the bell and started chirping his little heart out. Halley raced outside and jumped on the ledge to take a closer look. While Halley looked at the bird, the bird looked at Halley.

Changing to stealth mode, Halley crept closer and closer, no doubt wondering what this bird would taste like as an early lunch. I told her to save herself the trouble. This bird was little more than bones and feathers. I mean, if she was stalking a pigeon, I could understand her quest, but this bird was even smaller than a canary.

Still, Halley crept forward, eyeing her prey, all the while chattering. 

“If you want to catch him," I told her (not that she could because of the netting), “you better keep your mouth shut.” I do wonder though what she was saying … “Hold on birdie?”, “Sit still birdie?”, or “I’m coming for you.” Whatever it was, it didn’t work. After the bird had his dinner he hopped off the bell and flew away.

Halley stared after the birdie. Visibly disappointed. I could have comforted her with 'Better luck next time' but that is not gonna happen. Not now, not ever. The safety netting will see to that.  
        

Day39: Did I do that?

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day39: Did I do that?

I have a little magnet calendar on my fridge. Every day it shows a cute cat or kitten, or a quote. 

Yesterday it was this ...

Today it’s this ...

And yesterday it was a quote by Chris Evans:

“Cats are an example of peace and tranquility”

Hm, no offense to Chris Evans but she obviously has never met Halley and Greyson. Oh the both of them are peaceful and tranquil when they’re asleep, but when they’re awake ... hold on to your hat.

Take this morning for instance. The both of them were racing around the place at full tilt. They sprinted from the bedroom through the living room onto the balcony, only to return from the balcony via the kitchen, into the living room and back to the bedroom.

Charlotte and Holly stayed out of their way, as did I, because – not having breaks on their paws – they are an accident waiting for a place to happen.

Charlotte

Holly

Usually, nothing happens, Halley and Greyson eventually get tired and go to sleep. Today was different.

The balcony door had been open all morning. When I went to shower, I closed the door because I don’t like to leave them unsupervised. The balcony is perfectly safe, protected by double netting, but still, you never know what could happen.

Having finished my shower and morning routine, I came into the kitchen, Greyson saw me and got such a fright that he took off like an arrow from a bow and ran straight into the screen door. It’s a good thing I hadn’t closed the glass door, or he could have been hurt.

As it was, when he saw what he did he sped to by bedroom, dived under the bed and stayed there for a good ten minutes. When I went to check on him, the poor thing sat there with eyes as big as tea saucers.

I tried to coax him to come out but ah ah, he was having none of it. Eventually, he left his hiding place, slowly, carefully, placing one dainty paw in front of another. It’s never taken him that long to get from the bedroom to the living room.

When he went to take a look at the balcony screen door, or rather where the balcony screen door used to be, it was with a lot of sniffing and head bobbing. He gave a good impression of Steve Urkel’s ... Did I do that?