Day 79: My cats and cat grass

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 79: My cats and cat grass

I was queuing with my groceries at a deli yesterday when I noticed cat grass by till. I decided to add some to my purchases.

Once home I announced to Charlotte, Holly, Halley, and Greyson that I had something for them. They eyed the bag and I didn’t keep them in suspense. With a flourish, I pulled out the cat grass and said: “Ta-da, for you.” They looked at it, not quite understanding.

When I placed the tub of cat grass on the floor, they approached it with caution. What was it? What were they supposed to do with it? Was it friendly? “It’s cat grass,” I said, “you’re supposed to chew it.” None of them showed any inclination of doing that.

Curiosity got the better of them though and one by one they came to have a nibble. Greyson was the first one to risk it and when Charlotte, Holly, and Halley saw that he was fine they risked it too.

If I thought they would love the cat grass, I was sadly mistaken, they weren’t particularly crazy about it. When they did have a nibble it was with an attitude of ... okay, you bought it, we’ll eat it to make you happy. So much for that idea.

When the grass started to look a little ‘depressed’ I figured it needed fresh air and sunlight, so I put it out on the balcony. A short time later Greyson and Halley went to take a look.

Judging by the look on their faces, they seemed to have a conversation with me:

You want me to eat that?

 You're joking, right?

At that precise moment, a falcon flew overhead and got Halley's full attention ... I'd rather have that.

Moments later, a finch landed on a feeding tray and Halley seemed to think ... or that.

Yeah well, she couldn't have either. The falcon would have her for lunch and as for the finch ... that little thing was just skin and bones.

I don't know about other cat owners but I can't seem to win with mine. I buy them toys, they don't play with them; I buy them quality food, they don't eat it; now I buy them cat grass and they're not interested.

I give up.

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Day 74: Those two would test the patience of an angel

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 74: Those two would test the patience of an angel

You’ve probably seen them on the road … dogs in booties, cats with a sweater on, or some other ridiculous outfit.

For starters, I’ve never understood how the owners of these pets managed to make their cat or dog keep those garments on.

Back when I was a kid, I spend the better part of an afternoon knitting socks for my cat, Pitoe. When the socks were finished, I put them on Pitoe’s paws, or shall I say … tried to put them on his paws. He was of the opinion that he didn’t need socks and he made that very clear. I was of the opinion that he did need socks and commandeered the situation with a great deal of perseverance.

In the process I ended up with more than one scratch, but in the end Pitoe had his socks on. Or so I thought. No sooner had I put Pitoe on the floor than he started shaking his paws … front left, front right, back left, back right … the socks went flying. So much for that idea.

Over the years I tried a few dress ups with my cats, but none of them were particularly thrilled with the idea, so no more of that nonsense.

However, now I’m having a change of heart.

Last night Halley and Greyson wanted to go out. They’re used to going out on the balcony. It’s understandable, they’re locked inside the apartment all day, so when we come home they can’t wait to get some fresh air.

Unfortunately, it’s no longer July when the air is warm, it’s October and the air is just a bit too fresh for me. When the balcony door is open, within no time the living room turns rather chilly. Not that the chilly temperature bothers Halley and Greyson. Take yesterday for instance.

As soon as we came home, Halley and Greyson took their position by the balcony door … they wanted out. Fine, they were let out. They jumped on the ledge of the (safety netted) balcony and looked at the construction workers down below, the cars that came and went in the parking lot, the pigeons and seagulls that swooped overhead, and the finches who came to peck at the bird food.

After a while I called them in but neither of them was willing. "Halley, Greyson, it’s cold, come inside!” I said with more urgency. They responded with a firm, no. “Fine,” I said, “knock when you want to come in.” Since it was getting cold in the living room I closed the door. Two minutes later Halley scratched at the glass, she wanted to come in, Greyson in her wake.

I opened the door, the two of them walked in, I closed the door.

Before long they wanted to go out again. I opened the door, they walked out, I closed the door.

When next I let them in, their paws and fur was cold. That’s when I started considering getting them each a sweater and some booties.

And so it went … in, out, in, out, in, out, in.

“You’re in and now you’re staying in,” I told them as I yet again had to get up to open and close the balcony door. When next Halley scratched to go out, I held firm. Enough was enough.

But I had reckoned without Halley’s determination. Now when she wanted out she didn’t just scratch the glass, she went into turbo overdrive. I lasted for less than one minute before getting up with an “Alright then, I’m coming.” 

Eventually though I had to put a stop to this. When next she scratched to be let out, I got up. Not to let her out but to give her a piece of my mind. "Halley," I said, "this has to stop. You've been in and out all night. It's late, it's dark and it's cold. Now stop it and go to sleep!" And would you believe it, it worked. She turned tail and went to bed. 

I should have yelled sooner.

Day 64: Am I seeing that right?

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 64: Am I seeing that right?

After a few miserable days, the sun was shining brightly in Toronto yesterday with a rise in temperature to 24 degrees C (75 degrees F). Taking advantage of the warmer weather, I went for a walk during lunchtime and almost got into trouble.

Along the way, I passed a shoe store and if there’s one thing that has a magical attraction on me it’s shoes. So I slowed down and stopped to take a closer look. 

On the store’s advertising board it showed a rather cute pair of walking shoes. Just a picture, but I assumed that these cuties could be found inside the store.

Now, this is unusual, cute walking shoes I mean. Most walking shoes are rather big, clumpy and altogether unattractive. This pair, however, had take-me-home written all over them.

They were elegant, comfy looking and the price ... 19.45. You have to admit, a price like this would grab any warm-blooded female’s attention.

At the same time, alarm bells started ringing ... $19.45 for a pair of walking shoes? This couldn’t be right. So I dug in my bag for my reading glasses, put them on and ... ah, now I saw more clearly. 

The running shoes were not $19.45, the board stated ‘Since 1945’. The year the store opened I presume. It’s a good thing I didn’t go inside, enquiring about the cute shoes or wouldn’t I have looked the fool.

A few days ago I was an even bigger fool.

I walked into my – dimly lit – bedroom, where I saw a dark form on my bed near the pillows. “Hi Greyson,” I said, “are you sleeping?” I didn’t really expect an answer, but when spoken to Greyson usually gives a meow. This time however he remained quiet. Approaching the bed, I tried again.
“Greyson? Are you alright boy?” Still no reaction.
I went around the bed to give him a pet when I heard from behind me Greyson’s distinctive meow. Hm, if Greyson was behind me, who was that on the bed? Charlotte perhaps who also has a dark coloring.

I reached out and petted the dark form. Right away I knew something was wrong. What I felt wasn’t fur, it was ... material. When I turned up the light, I saw that the dark form was not a cat but a jacket. I had been talking to a jacket!

Fortunately, nobody – apart from Greyson – was around and he won’t tell.

See that’s the thing with not seeing well and not wearing my glasses all the time, I get into the most embarrassing situations. I’m sure that those wearing reading glasses know exactly what I mean.

____________________

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Day 60: Poor Greyson

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 60: Poor Greyson

Greyson is upset with me, and for good reason. If he could talk, he would say that he suffered a mild case of animal abuse. Not once, but twice. Here’s what happened.

Tonight I came home from work and together with Dieter I made the beds. The duvet was folded three quarters over the bed to give the bed a chance to air. In order to straighten the bottom sheet, we threw the duvet off the bed and heard a ... clonk.

Moments later, Greyson appeared from under the duvet with a face that asked ... what’d you do that for? The poor thing, by throwing the duvet on the floor we inadvertently threw Greyson to the floor who lay napping under the folder duvet. I wanted to pick him up and tell him how sorry I was, but he was having none of it.

As if once wasn’t enough, a short time later we had another accident.

I went to my room to fold the laundry. That’s when I noticed a black sock on the floor, sticking out from under my bed. I bend to pick up the sock and heard an angry ... meow!!! That's when I realized, the black sock wasn’t a black sock but Greyson’s dark, fluffy tail.

In my defense, the room was rather dark and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. If I had, I would have seen the difference between a sock and a cat’s tail, but as I said, I didn't wear glasses. 

I crouched in front of the bed and noticed two amber eyes glaring at me. In response to my “Sorry baby, I didn’t know it was your tail,” Greyson turned his back on me.

Halley who had heard Greyson’s meow, in protest of me pulling his tail came running into the bedroom. She dived under the bed to comfort Greyson and no doubt plotting revenge. I could just imagine it, Halley stating ... don’t worry brother, I’ve got your back.” And she did.

About an hour later I went to the bathroom and as usual, Halley came with me. She positioned herself on the corner of the vanity table. On the vanity table also stood a new toilet roll. While I wasn’t looking, Halley inched closer to the roll and with her front paw deftly knocked the roll in the toilet.

Well, I never. And it wasn’t cheap toilet paper either, it was Charmin paper. After I fished the roll out of the (clean) water it was only good for one thing ... the bin.

I can only guess what those two have in store for me tonight. After these two cases of minor abuse, they no doubt will make me pay.

My guess is that Halley will come and sit on me, and she’s not exactly a light cat. Greyson from his side will wait until I drift off to sleep before sticking his cold wet nose in my ear and start purring, followed by licking my nose.

Lesson learned. From now on, before throwing the duvet off the bed, I will check that no cat is napping underneath it and when I see a black sock on the floor, I will make sure that it is indeed a sock and not a tail.

I’m sure that those of you with cats can relate.

____________________

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Day 55: Fall - beautiful or depressing?

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 55: Fall - beautiful or depressing?

It’s September, the month fall starts and with it the most depressing time of the year.

Some see beauty in the fall, I’m not one of them. Sure, the foliage in fall is beautiful but look beyond the colors and you’ll realize that the leaves are dying and soon after that rotting.

Everything is dying ... the trees, the shrubbery, and the flowers. For months the world will be devoid of color. No more green trees offering shade on a hot day. No more bright red geraniums, playfully pink petunias, or yellow and purple smiling pansie faces. No more anything.

Winter at least offers the beauty of snow and ice. 

While it might be cold, falling snow or gazing upon a white landscape can be a source of joy. But what joy is there to be found in the fall?

Even more depressing is the temperature. Warm days are a thing of the past. It’s only September 8th and I’m already sitting with a sweater on. 

Last year was very different. The air conditioning in our condo building was switched off in the second week of September and the residents descended on the management office un mass. They asked, pleaded and begged the building manager to turn the air-conditioning back on because it was stifling hot in their units.

Not this year. The air-conditioning unit hasn’t been on for days, instead of shorts I’m wearing jeans, instead of sandals I’ve reached for socks and slippers, and as mentioned earlier, I’m wearing a sweater.

Halley and Greyson aren’t bothered by the sudden chill in the air. As you can see, they continue to nap in the balcony swing. 

Yesterday I thought it a little too chilly for Halley to be outside, so I covered her with a blanket. She stayed and continued to snooze. That is, until Greyson came along and started trampling all over her.

Fall ... I guess we'll just have to put up with it. In another six months, it will be spring again.

_________________________

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Day 52: I’m gonna be a millionaire

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 52: I’m gonna be a millionaire

It’s Friday. That means Lotto Max day and I just bought a ticket for tonight’s drawing. The jackpot … $50 million.

I have a good feeling about the drawing. More than a good feeling, I feel confident that lady luck is smiling at me. Then again, I had the same feeling last week.

I bought a Lotto Max ticket, and as I walked home the song on my phone played ‘I want it all’ by Queen. All the way home, I had that song playing in my head … I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now!’ I did want it all, and I did want it now. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t get anything.

This week is different though. I think this week I stand an excellent chance of winning. They say shards bring luck and there have been shards this week. First, I cut my finger on a broken glass, and then yesterday Greyson did his bit.

It was an evening like any other evening, Dieter and I worked on our computers while Halley and Greyson raced laps around the house. Occasionally they would make a pit stop to catch their breath, only to switch on their turbo and start up again.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and while Halley dived under the nearest bed, Greyson came charging into the living room, Dieter and I flew out of our seats like to perfectly synchronized athletes.

At first, we didn’t see anything wrong, but when we checked the bathroom … ah yes, there we found the porcelain toilet holder in pieces. 

If I was to guess, I would say that during the race Grayson’s backside fishtailed causing the rug in the hallway to hit the bathroom door. The door must have hit the toilet roll holder causing the toilet roll holder to make contact with the ceramic tiles on the bathroom wall. Either way, the toilet roll holder was no more.

So between my broken glass and Greyson’s broken toilet roll holder, there have been plenty of shards and thus I think I stand an excellent chance of winning the Lotto Max jackpot.

I do wonder about these Lotto games though. There’s Lotto 6/49, Lotto Max, Daily Grand, Ontario 49, Lottario, Poker Lotto, Wheel of Fortune Lotto, Megadice Lotto, and a few more and yet I’ve never met anyone who has won anything any of significance. So where are all those lucky players?

Personally, I’ve been playing for 21 years. Isn’t it time that my ship finally came in? I could do so much good with some extra cash. I’m not gonna say if I win the lottery, I’m gonna say when I win the lottery and tonight is the night.

Day39: Did I do that?

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day39: Did I do that?

I have a little magnet calendar on my fridge. Every day it shows a cute cat or kitten, or a quote. 

Yesterday it was this ...

Today it’s this ...

And yesterday it was a quote by Chris Evans:

“Cats are an example of peace and tranquility”

Hm, no offense to Chris Evans but she obviously has never met Halley and Greyson. Oh the both of them are peaceful and tranquil when they’re asleep, but when they’re awake ... hold on to your hat.

Take this morning for instance. The both of them were racing around the place at full tilt. They sprinted from the bedroom through the living room onto the balcony, only to return from the balcony via the kitchen, into the living room and back to the bedroom.

Charlotte and Holly stayed out of their way, as did I, because – not having breaks on their paws – they are an accident waiting for a place to happen.

Charlotte

Holly

Usually, nothing happens, Halley and Greyson eventually get tired and go to sleep. Today was different.

The balcony door had been open all morning. When I went to shower, I closed the door because I don’t like to leave them unsupervised. The balcony is perfectly safe, protected by double netting, but still, you never know what could happen.

Having finished my shower and morning routine, I came into the kitchen, Greyson saw me and got such a fright that he took off like an arrow from a bow and ran straight into the screen door. It’s a good thing I hadn’t closed the glass door, or he could have been hurt.

As it was, when he saw what he did he sped to by bedroom, dived under the bed and stayed there for a good ten minutes. When I went to check on him, the poor thing sat there with eyes as big as tea saucers.

I tried to coax him to come out but ah ah, he was having none of it. Eventually, he left his hiding place, slowly, carefully, placing one dainty paw in front of another. It’s never taken him that long to get from the bedroom to the living room.

When he went to take a look at the balcony screen door, or rather where the balcony screen door used to be, it was with a lot of sniffing and head bobbing. He gave a good impression of Steve Urkel’s ... Did I do that?

Day 5: All about Halley

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 5: All about Halley

Yesterday I talked about Greyson a little in ‘Can cats talk’. Today it’s Halley’s turn as she is quite a character too.

Halley is about a year and a half old and right off the bat we knew we were going to have our hands full with her.

As an eight week old kitten, she was super energetic which the older cats Charlotte (16)and Holly (6) didn’t appreciate. That’s why we decided to adopt Greyson, as a playmate and it worked wonders. Charlotte and Holly were left in peace while Halley and Greyson got on like a house on fire.

As Halley grew up she developed some strange habits. She took an interest in computers, was a keen TV watcher, loved to jump in the first at every opportunity, enjoyed the outdoors, and most of all she liked to relax with Greyson.

Now, whenever one of us visits the bathroom, she comes flying out of nowhere to go with us. In the event that she’s out on the balcony and Dieter goes to the bathroom, all he has to do is call ‘Halley, are you coming?’ and she comes racing.

And it’s really weird. Anywhere outside the bathroom, Halley is a rather aloof cat. Doesn’t like to be petted and shrinks away when I reach for her. But in the bathroom, she’s all over me. She purrs, she stands on her hind legs to be petted, when stroked and tickled she can’t get enough, and even lies down in front of the door so I can’t get out. She's a totally different cat in these surroundings.

Unfortunately, she also has an annoying habit … just about every day she wakes us up at some ungodly hour. When she sees first light she jumps  on Dieter’s bed and taps him lightly on the nose. When he ignores her, she does it again and again. When he swats her paw away and turns over for a few more hours of sleep, she jumps off the bed ready for plan B.

She moves to the door, stands on her hind legs, raised her front paws to the door and puts all her bodyweight behind those paws, causing the door to slam shut.

After Dieter has gone out to work she moves to my bedroom and starts her nonsense with me with a few variations.

First she lies down next to me and purrs (loudly) in my ear.

When I turn over she comes and sits on me. With an estimated body weight of about 20 lbs that is nothing to sneeze at.

Still seated on top of me, she taps my nose a few times, followed by a lick and a soft bite. Cute as it may seem, at 6:00 a.m. I’m having none of it and I tell Halley in no uncertain terms to bugger off and let me sleep.

She, in turn, is having none of that. She jumps off the bed, goes to the door and slams it shut as previously described. Before long, she or one of the other cats want to go out and cry for the door to be opened.

Yesterday morning she was at it again and shortly after Halley had slammed the door, Holly wanted to go out. At first I tried to ignore her, but it’s impossible to ignore a crying cat, sooner or later you have to give in. So, I stumbled out of bed, let Holly out and on my way back I hit my shin on the corner of the bed. I’m now sporting a beautiful swollen blue bump on my leg.

Thinking that I was awake and ready to go Charlotte jumped on the bed, followed by Greyson. While Charlotte merely lies down next to me, Greyson trampled all over me in an effort to get to my ears. He likes to give kisses you see, and he kisses like the French … left, right, left.

In the end, I gave up and got up. Right outside the door, Halley was waiting for me, ready to accompany me for my morning shower.

What will the day bring ... who knows, with Halley there's never a dull moment.

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