Day 9: Is your child a genius

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 9: Is your child a genius

99% of all parents are proud of their child. They think that their sons and/or daughters are the most beautiful and smartest creatures that were ever born.

While some parents keep their pride to themselves, others tell all and sundry what a genius they have created. Listeners usually indulge those proud parents, they nod their head and think … yeah, yeah, yeah and then have a good laugh behind their back.

Every now and then though, some parents take the bragging about their child to a whole new level. They’re not merely bragging, they are so pompous and pretentious that they believe their own lies.

They Marten for instance, he posted on Facebook …

My toddler told me why Pablo Neruda was a better poet than Robert Frost. It had to do with who wrote more about grapes, vineyards and wine. Then, after taking a swig of merlot, he called Frost a twat.

A toddler drinking Merlot ... surely Marten was kidding.

Then there's Rebecca, she wrote her daughter said the following … 

"DID YOU STICK YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR VAGINA, MUM?" 

My daughter, 8 years old, on a packed tube during rush hour, who's lifes ambition is to mortifying the poor fucker that brought her into this world 😐 and, yes, shes also a lot smarter than me. 

I dont think I'm making it out of this one alive...

Perhaps Rebecca's daughter can teach her mother how to spell.

And last but not least, my personal favorite …

I knew this kid was way smarter than I've ever been. Smarter than his Dad, too. He was three, hanging on the gate, watching a man fix his motorcycle. When it started again, the guy drove off, and my son came running for me saying, "It's a good idea to have an internal combustion engine on a motorbike, because if you had an external combustion engine, you'd burn your legs." When I was 3 I couldn't have said internal or external or combustion, never mind knowing what they meant! He was 4 when he explained to me that the encyclopedias were in alphabetical order which would make it much easier to find things, and wasn't that a good idea - I didn't know he knew what alphabetical order was! Never mind knowing why.

A 3-year-old who knows the difference between an internal and external combustion engine … wow. A 3-year-old who uses the word combustion … wow.

All this is bullshit of course. I did some research and found the following …

A 3-year-old should be able to:

Say his or her name and age

• Speak 250 to 500 words
• Answer simple questions
• Speak in sentences of five to six words, and speak in complete sentences by age 4
• Speak clearly, although he may not be fully comprehensible until age 4 
• Tell stories
• Correctly name familiar colors
• Understand the idea of same and different, start comparing sizes
• Pretend and fantasize more creatively
• Follow three-part commands
• Remember parts of a story
• Understand time better (for example, morning, afternoon, night)
• Count, and understand the concept of counting
• Sort objects by shape and color
• Complete age-appropriate puzzles

In addition, I contacted a schoolteacher and asked her if what Marten, Rebecca, and Laurie claimed could be true. She laughed out loud.

"While some children are obviously smarter than others," she said, "every now and then there are the truly gifted ones. Its' not uncommon for these gifted children later in life to be diagnosed with autism or Asperger's Syndrome."

When I looked up Asperger's Syndrome I found the following:

Asperger's Syndrome is a pervasive developmental disorder characterized by deficits in social communication and by repetitive patterns of behaviors, or interests. It is observed in some gifted children.

If your child is of average intelligence … count your blessings.

Day 8: Ban strollers on public transportation

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 8: Ban strollers on public transportation

Occasionally you will read a rant on this blog, and today is such a day. One of my pet peeves is strollers on buses. If it were up to me, I would ban them.

While I understand that parents and their children need to get around, during peak hours strollers should not be allowed on a train, bus or streetcar. 

I was on a bus the other day, on my way to the doctor's office, when a woman pushed her stroller onto the bus. The thing was so big it blocked two seating spaces. She didn’t say anything, but she indicated that I and the woman next to me should get up and move. Neither of us gave any indication to do so. Why should we, we had paid for our seats while she had only paid for herself, not for her stroller.

Everyone who came onto the bus after her had to squeeze past her enormous stroller. I secretly hoped that someone would trip and fall over her stroller and sue the TTC. That would teach them a lesson.

Bikes are not allowed on the bus or streetcar, they have to be secured on a contraption in front of the bus.

Why can’t the TTC implement the same rule for strollers?

People who haven’t seen a stroller in a few decades might be surprised in the difference in models between now and then. So, take a look at a stroller 1979 and a stroller of 2019 …

 

People who travel by car and have never taken a bus or streetcar have no idea what a nuisance those things are.

Then there are the kids. Some are way too old to still be in a stroller, others are quite young but have a voice that would stop a train. There was this boy, he couldn’t have been more than a year old with a cellphone, looking at a video. When the mother took it away from him to make a call, he started screaming like he was being murdered. A baby with a cellphone I thought … what is this world coming to?

And believe it or not, it got even worse. In the waiting room of the doctor’s office, I saw a toddler with a tablet. Whatever next … a baby with a laptop!

But back to the annoying strollers. When will the TTC do something about these things? My guess is, we paying passengers, can complain until the cows come home and the TTC will turn a deaf ear. Something will have to happen, to someone who matters, before these damn strollers will be banned on public transportation.

Day 7: Her Husband’s Mistake – Sheila O’Flanagan

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 7: Her Husband’s Mistake – Sheila O’Flanagan

I just came back from the bookstore where I bought ‘Her Husband’s Mistake’ by Sheila O’Flanagan.

At the till the cashier handed me the receipt which I refused. “You might need it in case you want to return the book,” she said. I shook my head with a smile, “That’s not gonna happen. This is Sheila O’Flanagan and her books are a sure thing.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

A few months ago, I learned that Sheila O’Flanagan had a new book in the making. Being a devoted fan of Sheila O’Flanagan I was both excited and disappointed. A new book … great, months of waiting … not so great.

Eventually, though the new book was revealed and … my breath caught in my throat as I read the title … ‘Her Husband’s Mistake’. Without even reading the synopsis I knew what this book would be about … a cheating husband.

Suddenly I wasn’t so excited about this new book anymore. What would the wronged wife do, give her husband a kick in his cheating butt or forgive and forget? I hoped it wasn’t the latter because if there’s one thing I can’t stand it is wives who for one reason or another forgive their cheating husbands. Once a cheater, always a cheater and I stand firm on that.

I read some reviews on Amazon, but they were of no help. Some people loved the book, others found fault with it. Not that I put much stock in what other people think, I’ve learned long ago that what’s good for the goose isn’t necessarily good for the gander.

None of the reviews told me what I wanted to know though, so I went straight to the source and asked Sheila O’Flanagan if Roxy would forgive Dave? Her answer satisfied me.

Starting a new book, I always find exciting. It’s like going on a journey … new places to see, new people to meet, sharing in their adventures, wondering how it will end.

Other than exciting, to me, a new book is also rather dangerous. I’ve been known to miss subway stops, seeing the back of a bus, extending lunchtimes and having difficulties getting up in the morning as I read too deep into the night.  

Not all writers can get me into such trouble though. The book I abandoned to start ‘Her Husband’s Mistake’ put me to sleep rather than keep me awake. The characters were dull and boring, and the plot … I was 127 pages into the story and I still didn’t know what this was all about.

That is not the case with ‘Her Husband’s Mistake’. The reader knows from page one what to expect … a man cheats on his wife and she has to make a decision. Not that Sheila O’Flanagan turns it into a drama, quite the opposite.

At the beginning of the story, I found myself grinning.

“Something funny?” the lady next to me on the train asked.

“It’s the way the writer describes a sex scene,” I told her.

She leaned a little closer. “Can I see.”

After she had put on her glasses, I angled the book so she could read. “That is funny,” she said. “What’s the title of the book?”

Instead of telling her the title I turned the book over and she took a picture of the cover with her phone. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been looking for a book to take on the plane with me when I go on vacation next week.”

In case you need something to read, I can highly recommend ‘Her Husband’s Mistake’. I’m only a few chapters into the book but I can already tell … this is another good one.

Day 6: Ducks, Geese and Dieter

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 6: Ducks, Geese and Dieter

Dieter took a day off work today and after lunch, we took a walk to the pond behind our condo building. We took a bag of old bread along as there are always hungry ducks and geese.

Follow along on our journey:

Notice the pond in the center of the picture

Stop to smell the flowers

 They saw us approaching and looked at us with suspicion

 But they let us come closer and closer

 Noticing there was food to be had, the birds came out of the water

 First a few, then a whole lot

 Papa goose kept an eye on the proceedings

 Dieter invited them to come closer

  Which they did

 This duck was more interested in me

With the ducks and geese fed it was time to go home

 Quickly posing for a picture

 And then continue the journey

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Day 5: All about Halley

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 5: All about Halley

Yesterday I talked about Greyson a little in ‘Can cats talk’. Today it’s Halley’s turn as she is quite a character too.

Halley is about a year and a half old and right off the bat we knew we were going to have our hands full with her.

As an eight week old kitten, she was super energetic which the older cats Charlotte (16)and Holly (6) didn’t appreciate. That’s why we decided to adopt Greyson, as a playmate and it worked wonders. Charlotte and Holly were left in peace while Halley and Greyson got on like a house on fire.

As Halley grew up she developed some strange habits. She took an interest in computers, was a keen TV watcher, loved to jump in the first at every opportunity, enjoyed the outdoors, and most of all she liked to relax with Greyson.

Now, whenever one of us visits the bathroom, she comes flying out of nowhere to go with us. In the event that she’s out on the balcony and Dieter goes to the bathroom, all he has to do is call ‘Halley, are you coming?’ and she comes racing.

And it’s really weird. Anywhere outside the bathroom, Halley is a rather aloof cat. Doesn’t like to be petted and shrinks away when I reach for her. But in the bathroom, she’s all over me. She purrs, she stands on her hind legs to be petted, when stroked and tickled she can’t get enough, and even lies down in front of the door so I can’t get out. She's a totally different cat in these surroundings.

Unfortunately, she also has an annoying habit … just about every day she wakes us up at some ungodly hour. When she sees first light she jumps  on Dieter’s bed and taps him lightly on the nose. When he ignores her, she does it again and again. When he swats her paw away and turns over for a few more hours of sleep, she jumps off the bed ready for plan B.

She moves to the door, stands on her hind legs, raised her front paws to the door and puts all her bodyweight behind those paws, causing the door to slam shut.

After Dieter has gone out to work she moves to my bedroom and starts her nonsense with me with a few variations.

First she lies down next to me and purrs (loudly) in my ear.

When I turn over she comes and sits on me. With an estimated body weight of about 20 lbs that is nothing to sneeze at.

Still seated on top of me, she taps my nose a few times, followed by a lick and a soft bite. Cute as it may seem, at 6:00 a.m. I’m having none of it and I tell Halley in no uncertain terms to bugger off and let me sleep.

She, in turn, is having none of that. She jumps off the bed, goes to the door and slams it shut as previously described. Before long, she or one of the other cats want to go out and cry for the door to be opened.

Yesterday morning she was at it again and shortly after Halley had slammed the door, Holly wanted to go out. At first I tried to ignore her, but it’s impossible to ignore a crying cat, sooner or later you have to give in. So, I stumbled out of bed, let Holly out and on my way back I hit my shin on the corner of the bed. I’m now sporting a beautiful swollen blue bump on my leg.

Thinking that I was awake and ready to go Charlotte jumped on the bed, followed by Greyson. While Charlotte merely lies down next to me, Greyson trampled all over me in an effort to get to my ears. He likes to give kisses you see, and he kisses like the French … left, right, left.

In the end, I gave up and got up. Right outside the door, Halley was waiting for me, ready to accompany me for my morning shower.

What will the day bring ... who knows, with Halley there's never a dull moment.

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Day 4: Can cats talk

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 4: Can cats talk

Oh dear, it’s only day four and I’ve already hit a bit of a snag … I can’t think of anything to write about.

At times like these, I turn to my cats: Charlotte, Holly, Halley, and Greyson. Cat lovers will agree, our fur kids are a constant source of inspiration.

Take Greyson for instance. He recently celebrated his first birthday and with it, he developed an appetite for wallpaper.

Don’t for a moment think that the poor thing might be hungry because I can assure you that he’s not. Greyson, along with the others get wet food for breakfast and dinner and they have a constant supply of dry food to snack on during the day.

So why does Greyson go for the wallpaper? Just to be clear, he doesn’t eat it, he merely tears off pieces and then spits them out on the floor. First, he attacked one of the walls in the bathroom, then he moved on to the kitchen and finally had a nibble in the living room.

See for yourself …

Shortly before his first birthday, Greyson also found his voice and he’s been using it ever since. For the longest time, he was a quiet cat, his Toronto Cat Rescue foster mother described him as a Zen kitten. When there’s nothing Zen about him anymore.

He starts in the morning, practicing his vocal cords with a series of meows. Once warmed up he goes quiet.

Then he starts again in the evening. He talks to us, he talks to the other cats, he even talks to the walls. Now that creeps me out. He will sit by a wall, look up and start a flood of ‘words’.

Sometimes it gets so bad that we have to shut him up with a firm ‘Greyson, enough!’ He will go quiet for a while and then start again, talking to another wall.

When Greyson isn’t talking to walls, he tries to climb them. He will sit, calculate his move, and then jump as high as he can, front paws outstretched. Of course, he’s not going anywhere as he slides right back down. That doesn’t discourage him though, he’s a firm believer in … if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Which he does. Over and over again until he gets tired.

And when he gets tired, he curls up, or rather drapes himself in his favorite spot. This has been his favorite spot ever since he was a kitten. Once again, see for yourself.

When he’s awake, Greyson is a rather curious cat. Lately, he’s taking an interest in potato peeling, dishwashing, and laundry. When he sees me taking the potato bag out of the cabinet, he wants to see what I’m doing. 

When I fill the sink with water he will come and stand by me and let out a loud cry. That’s my cue to pick him up and put him near the sink. He’s afraid of the water and the soap bubbles, I can see that, but he will sit there and keep an eye on me.

The same with laundry. When I fill the machine with clothes, water, and soap, he wants to see what’s going on. When I pick him up he’s not just scared, he’s terrified, but cranes his neck to see. In the meantime, I’ve learned that a safe distance is of great importance to Greyson.

When I first pick him up he lets me know … a little closer, please. A step closer and he cranes his neck to see better. Closer still and he starts to squirm. One more step closer to the machine and the message is clear … that’s far enough.

Can cats talk … you bet they can, you just have to know how to listen.