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Friday, July 20, 2012

A day in the life of a klutz

I’m the first to admit, I’m a bit of a klutz. 

Whenever I visit the mall, I’m hesitant in going into a china shop, because with my luck I will knock something down.  I am literally one of these people who can only be trusted around plastic or wood.

Take last night for instance.  When it was time for bed, I switched off the light in the living room and accidentally knocked down an ornament of four birds sitting on a stone.
Part of the “stone” was missing and I spent the next ten minutes picking up pieces that had scattered all over the lounge and dining room. 

And then I noticed it ... the stone was not the only thing that was damaged, a bluebird was missing its head.  Oh dear.  I looked everywhere, on the floor, on the carpets, in the chairs ... the bluebird’s head was nowhere to be found.  The next morning I looked again in the light of day, but still, no head.

Later that day I ran into a bit of trouble, literally.  Was it the missing head or something else, I don’t know, but I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing.  While going around the dining room table, I took my corner to sharp and knocked my hip into the side of the table.  OMG but that hurt.  Fortunately it’s an oval table and not a rectangular one or it would have hurt even more.

From there on, it went from bad to worse.  While making a bed, I managed to knock my shin on one of the corners.  Bloody hell, that was nothing to sneeze at either.  For the next minute or so I did the hold-one-leg-and-hop-around-on-the-other dance. 

Was that the end of it?  No.  At lunchtime I went to the kitchen to fix myself something to eat.  The kitchen is the last place for a clumsy person to hang out, but what can you do.  Food isn’t going to make itself.  I put a plate of leftover food in the oven and waited until the timer went off alerting me that five minutes of heating was done.
I kept my wits about.  Before removing the dish from the oven, I used two folded towels to remove the hot plate.  With the plate safely on the countertop, I switched off the oven and closed the door.  And then ... then my wits left me.  Not thinking, I picked up the hot plate with my bare fingers.  Jeez Louise!!!

Yesterday being Thursday, it was our bowling league night.  Can you imagine ... a klutz like me with a 14 pound bowling ball?  Now there’s an accident waiting for a place to happen.  The ball can drop or it can go flying in a non-intended direction.  Yes, I have been known to throw my ball backward and you should have seen the people behind me scuttle for safety.

Fortunately, everything went fine.  Short of the pins I didn’t knock or mow anyone down.  I may be a klutz, but when the occasion calls for it, I’m a careful klutz.

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