Should we think before we speak

Most of us are familiar with the phrase “A donkey never kicks the same stone twice”. While this might be true, there are plenty of other stones for the donkey to kick. The road of life is basically full of stones. The big ones are easy to see and avoid, but it’s the little ones that trip us up. So do we kick the same stone twice?

I know I have. Time and time again I resolve to think before I speak, but that’s not always possible. In every day conversation, people don’t usually think about what they’re going to say. Someone says something and we respond spontaneously. It’s only later on that we come to the conclusion … I shouldn’t have said that.

By then the damage is done and even apologizing doesn’t help. The words are spoken, someone has heard them and might never forget them. If we had a moment to think, we probably would have said something totally different, but we didn’t, the words flew out of our mouth and … another stone was kicked.

When this happens to me I often think … if only conversation was like to written word. I could go back, erase what was said or rephrase it.

Not that having time to think is always the solution. There have been times that I had plenty of time to think, and I still made the mistake of saying things I wish I could erase.

Take last night for instance. I had a meeting with the Board of Directors of our condo building, a representative of management and a resident, all in all it was seven against one.

I knew right from the start that I didn’t stand a chance. I should have stood up and made a graceful exit, but I didn’t. I had come to the meeting and I was going to state my case. Without any proof it was very difficult to make any of my claims stick, and like I said … it was seven against one.

So I sat there, shaking with rage, my heart hammering in my chest. While inside I was seething, I held it together though, I appeared reasonably calm.

Of course, this reasonably calm exterior only lasted so long. There came a time when I was pushed beyond my limits and like a pan of milk that had been simmering for a while, I suddenly boiled over and let fly.

Do I regret my outburst … on the one hand yes, because anger reveals weakness, but on the other hand … it felt so good, it felt so good to finally have my say and see the smug smile slide off seven faces.

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Interview with Charlotte

Under the Toronto Sun started out as yet another local blog to inform, to celebrate and occasionally vent.  Over the years, the reading audience grew and the blog is now read over the whole world.

Today I’m doing something different … I’m going to interview Charlotte Howard.  Charlotte recently published her first book “Seven Dirty Words” with Rocking Horse Publishing and she seems like such an interesting lady, I had to introduce her and her work to you.

Hi Charlotte, tell us a little about yourself. 

Where were you born, where did you grow up, where do you live now, that kind of info.

My Dad worked on oil rigs, so we traveled a fair bit when I was younger.  I was born in Oman, then we moved to Scotland, and eventually to England.  I grew up on the Nottingham / Lincoln border (home of Robin Hood!)from the age of 12 onwards.  Once I hit 18 I started moving around again.  I moved to Somerset to be with my (now) husband, and we lived in Jersey, Channel Islands for a couple of years, but now we’re back in Somerset.  Lots of moving around.  I get itchy feet after about 3 years, so am ready for a move now!

You recently published “Seven Dirty Words” what prompted you to write this book?

I’ve always been interested in crime / mystery novels, but after seeing it go viral, I read the Fifty Shades trilogy.  A couple of my family and friends asked if I’d tried writing romance.  I hadn’t but thought I’d give it a go.  I wrote one (which was rejected by lots of agents) and while I was waiting for that to find a home, I wrote Seven Dirty Words.

How do you find the time to write?

I keep asking if anyone has a few spare hours they could lend me, because to be honest – I don’t know.  I have two young children, and I help out with a couple of after-school clubs.  I tend to write on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays between 10 and 2 since that’s when I have the house completely to myself.

Some people write with pen and paper and type up their notes, others use a computer.  What do you use?

Computer.  But I also have a notepad in my handbag at all times, several jotters scattered around the house, my mobile phone and a tablet.  I probably look like a complete loony walking the dog, talking into my mobile phone to record any thoughts / notes I come up with!  Once a manuscript is finished, I print it out and get a red pen to edit, before moving back to the PC / laptop to finish it.

What do you do to bring “Seven Dirty Words” to the attention of the public?

I have several online accounts: Facebook, Twitter, Blog (choward2614.wordpress.com) and my website (www.charlottehowardauthor.co.uk) I think a lot of it has been done word-of-mouth though.  I had a phone call from a local radio station to do an interview after they’d seen a piece about me in the paper, and a few members of the writers group I go to have spread the word for me too.

What advice would you give about writing and marketing?

Keep a copy of the book in your bag at all times.  I managed to sell a copy at my sister’s baby shower after I got it out and used it to lean on when writing.  I gave copies away to my friends and family too – one is currently in my husband’s office, one is in a caravan club in Scotland, and there are several more dotted around the country, hopefully getting some attention!  Recently, I donated a signed copy to my local library as well.

I’ve also got a collection of postcards with all the details on that live in my handbag to give out to anyone, like booksellers, that I meet.

And, I keep an eye out for anyone who offers to review the book (for free – I wouldn’t pay for reviews), or blog tour requests.

Anything in the works now?

At the moment I’m finishing Four Letter Words, the sequel to Seven Dirty Words.  I have several more plots and storylines jotted down, and have considered trying my hand at crime-romance and paranormal-romance.

Thank you Charlotte.  Best of luck with “Seven Dirty Words” and any future works.