Day 46: Ready to jump out the window

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 46: Ready to jump out the window

For the past 30 years or so, I have lived in a condo building and never given much thought to the person in the management office.

To the best of my knowledge, that person was there in case one of the residents had a complaint and in due time that complaint would be taken care of.

Today, I have a newfound respect for people in management offices everywhere. How they put up with the constant stream of complaints, I don’t know.

As a temp, my latest assignment is working for such a management company and I tell you ... if it wasn’t that I worked on the ground floor, I would be ready to jump out the window.

I started in the management office last Thursday and initially the work was fine, if not a little boring. That all changed today.

Earlier this month two men from a fire alarm company came to inspect the units to make sure that the smoke and fire alarms were in working condition. Today, they came back to visit the units where a problem had been found.

All-day long I was getting calls from residents demanding to know when the two men would visit their unit. How was I supposed to know that? I didn’t accompany the men and they didn’t check-in with me.

In addition to this there was a steady stream of visitors to the office, each with their own complaint: a hole in the ceiling needed fixing, something was stuck in the garbage chute, a dead rodent was found in the garden, two people protested a fine they received after not paying their maintenance fees on time. By three o’clock I had enough. Did these people do anything but complaining?

The cherry on the cake came at 3:00 p.m. A man walked in, I guessed him to be in his early 50s, who looked and smelled like a bum. He asked me when the next flea market was to be held. I told him in early October. Could I give him a registration form? I told him that no registration forms were currently available. “Well, if you can’t do the job then why are you here?” he stated.

Next, he told me that he wanted to file a complaint. When I asked him as to the nature of his complaint he barked, “That’s none of your business.” I wasn’t gonna argue with him, but it was my business. How could I address his complaint if I didn't know what it was?

I’m not exactly looking forward to tomorrow and as far as I’m concerned, this assignment can’t be over soon enough. Like I said, I have a newfound respect for condo management office staff everywhere. How they put up with the complaints day in and day out, I don’t know. If I had to do it, I'd jump out the window.

Day 35: Work experiences

My Writing Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 35: Work experiences 

Where it comes to working experiences, I can entertain you with a string of anecdotes. In the early years as an immigrant in South Africa, it was nearly impossible to get a full-time job, but there was plenty of temporary work.

My very first temp assignment was for an industrial bakery. The bookkeeper wanted some time off and I was sent by a temp agency to stand in for her. One of my responsibilities was to calculate the worker’s wages with the Kalamazoo system.

The office, my co-workers and the work itself were all nice enough, but what really stood out were the perks of this job. 

Every morning at 9:00 the office was served freshly brewed coffee, along with a tray of thickly sliced, warm bread. The tray also held a bowl of real butter, as well as peach, apricot and strawberry jam.

At 11:00 more coffee, this time accompanied by a variety of scones, muffins, and cinnamon rolls.

Between 12:00 and 1:00 employees were served sandwiches with a choice of ham, salami, pate, cheese, or one of five salads.

At 3:00 coffee again, this time with a selection of pastries.

At 4:30, the official end of the day, every employee got a free bread.

I was more than a little sorry when after three weeks the bookkeeper returned to the office and my assignment was over.

A few month later, I was sent to a company where – before I was even allowed to enter the premises – I was called into the security office and was asked to take the oath of secrecy. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I was soon to find out. 

This particular company built military equipment and my job was to type instruction manuals for the soldiers on how to make minor repairs. 

According to the oath, I was not allowed to discuss my work with anyone outside my department and certainly with nobody outside the company. I was to keep this oath for the duration of my stay and 7 years after I left the company. 

The biggest shock was when I came face to face with a tank. I had seen tanks in the movies and on TV of course, but that didn’t prepare me for seeing one in real life. Not only did I feel dwarfed by this enormous machine but I just about peed my pants when I saw its 9-meter (32 feet) gun pointed straight at me. I was teased mercilessly when I returned to the office as white as a sheet.

Life as a temp isn’t all fun and games though. Here in Toronto, I was sent to one of the big law firms for a three- week assignment. Very uncharacteristic of me, I left after just one hour. 

I knew the assignment wasn’t going to work when I arrived at the office and was shown to the desk of the girl I would be standing in for. 

Clearly, she loved spiders as there were spiders everywhere. She had several 8,5 x 11 colorful pictures of spiders pinned to the walls of her cubicle, two black and orange tarantulas were dangling from the ceiling, where a huge plastic (but very lifelike) black tarantula sat next to her computer.

Looking at the setup, I could feel a chill creeping up my spine, while the hairs on my neck and arms were standing up. 

I was supposed to work here! Me, whose terrified of spiders was supposed to work on a keyboard not 3 inches away from long black spider legs!

I tried to be brave and cautiously, from afar, placed a couple of Kleenex tissues over the black monster next to the keyboard, but it was no use, I knew what was under those tissues and even though I knew the spider wasn’t real, it still gave me the creeps. 

I informed the agency and left. As it turned out, three temps before me had done the very same thing.

In yet another law firm the environment was perfect, but the lawyer was a monster. He had a string of do’s and don’ts that included:

His printing had to be picked up every 20 minutes.

His teabag had to soak in hot water for precisely 45 seconds. Not 44 seconds, not 46 seconds, but 45 seconds.

His mail was to be presented to him in alphabetical order.

Cheques had to be stamped at an angle of exactly 45 degrees.

No work was ever to be visible on my desk.

This, of all things, presented the biggest problem. How does one do paperwork without any papers showing?

If these demands weren’t enough, the lawyer was terrible abusive in language. He screamed and shouted insults at the slightest provocation. If chairs weren’t replaced at exactly the right angle around the boardroom table, he would scream at his people for half an hour or more, getting angrier by the minute. If there were only 5 bottles of water instead of 6, this would set him off too.

When I suggested keeping bottled water in the fridge and only placing the bottles in the boardroom shortly before the meeting, I was on the receiving end of his wrath. To me, this made perfect sense as nobody wants to drink lukewarm water, but apparently, the lawyer didn’t tolerate suggestions.

When he came storming from behind his desk, ready to strike me, I got out a there. Verbal abuse was one thing, but I wasn’t risking physical abuse.

In hindsight, I should have let him. If he had struck me I would have had proof of the abuse. As it was, when I filed a complaint against the lawyer and the first thing the lawyer I contacted asked was “Do you have proof?” 

According to the lawyer, he’d seen this all before and a complaint without proof didn’t stand a chance in court.

Later I learned that he did contact the abusive lawyer who promptly denied everything.

I often played with the idea of putting together an anthology of work experience stories. Do you think this would be a good idea?

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Day 27: How to cope with things you’re dreading to do

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 27: Dread – How to cope with things you’re dreading to do

We all have things we don’t want to do or put off for as long as possible. For some people it’s house chores, for others it’s a task around the office, for others still it’s simply getting out of bed every morning. How to cope with things you’re dreading to do often have a simple solution.

Waking up

Few things are worse than waking up early in the morning to an annoying bell of an alarm clock. For a more pleasant awakening experience, select a musical tune on your iPhone. Waking up to music is far more preferable than hearing beep beep beep.

Personally, I hate waking up at 6:00 a.m. in the morning and I think I inherited this from my father. One morning he got so annoyed by his alarm clock, he pitched the bloody thing out the window.

Doing dishes

Ask 9 out of 10 people what their most hated chore around the house is and they might say doing dishes. Why do you think automatic dishwashers became so popular ...

If you have no choice but doing the dishes by hand, make things a little easier on yourself by doing part of the dishes before sitting down to lunch or dinner. 

After dishing up, you can wash the pots, that way after dinner all that’s left to do are the plates and cutlery. 

Or better yet, have your partner or children do the dishes. Hey, you cooked the meal, it’s only fair that someone else takes care of the clean-up.

Ironing

Another much-hated chore is ironing. The iron may have become more sophisticated over the years and lighter to handle, but it’s still a boring activity that takes its toll on one’s lower back and leg muscles. 

In all my life, I’ve ever come across one woman who stated that she loved ironing. She loved it so much, she ironed everything, from her husband’s underwear to his jeans. 

If you’re like the rest of the population and think ironing is boring, watch something on TV while you’re behind the ironing board or listen to an audiobook. You’ll be surprised how much more enjoyable ironing is while your favorite author is whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Around the office

Personally, I love filing, but a surprising number of people hate it. I used to too until I decided to change my routine. Shortly after I started with the company, my filing basket was groaning under a number of papers and it took me hours to create order out of chaos. 

When I was finished I vowed never again to let this happen. From that day forward I did my filing daily. Usually, it took me less than 10 minutes to have everything in its proper place.

Going to the gym

Many people know that they should go to the gym to lose weight or simply stay in shape, but they keep putting it off. They’re too tired, they have too much to do, they don’t have the right clothes, they hate going alone ... you name it and they’ll use it as an excuse.

Fact is, once you’ve been to a gym, you’ll want to go again and again. If you don’t like going alone, ask a family member, a friend, a colleague or even a neighbor to come along. They might feel the way you do and might just be waiting for an invitation.

If you don’t have anyone to accompany you, go anyway, chances are before long you’ll hook up with someone who is alone too.

Going on a diet

Most people have gone on a diet at one time or another in their life and failed spectacularly. In most cases, that’s because people tend to be way too hard on themselves. They make their diet so strict that within a matter of days their good intentions go out the window. Or they don’t see results quick enough and hurt their toes by kicking the scale in a dark corner.

The right way to go about a diet is to make an appointment with a dietician. These people are trained professionals who can advise you on losing weight the healthy way. They can also recommend the right book for your weight loss program.

For everything you dread to do there’s a solution. If you can’t think of anything practical, give yourself a reward once you’ve dealt with something.

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Day 12. Hello

Day 12: Hello – Write a story or a poem that starts with the word ‘hello’

“Hello, is this Conny?”

“Yes, it is,” I said.

“It’s Robert Chatham and I would like to welcome you to my firm.”

“I got the job?” I asked.

“You got the job” Robert Chatham confirmed. “See you on Monday. You start at nine o’clock.”

When the call was disconnected, I wondered why I didn’t feel happier. I had been looking for a job for a long time. I had seen Chatham for an interview the week before. I finally got a job, in a great location for a generous salary. So why did I feel like a dark cloud had just moved over my head?

When I arrived at the firm the following Monday, I was shown not to a cubicle but to an office, a private office with a view over the building’s private courtyard. Sunlight streamed through a floor to ceiling window, bouncing off a blond oak L-shaped desk and credenza. This was just getting better and better.

When Robert Chatham walked in at 9:15, the six men and women who had been chatting in the kitchen scattered to their desks like mice who’d smelled a cat.

Minutes later Chatham walked into my office. “Let me give you the tour,” he said.

Behind glass fronted windows, the other employees seemed hard at work, not looking up when Chatham and I walked past. “I’m not going to introduce you to anyone,” he said, “as you won’t have contact with these people and I don’t encourage socializing. You are all here to work, not to chat.” I thought this a little harsh, but okay.

When we arrived at the copy room Chatham instructed that I was to pick up his printing and bring it to his office every 20 minutes. “Not every 19 minutes, not every 21 minutes,” he emphasized, “every 20 minutes.”

In the kitchen, he pointed out the dishwasher and percolator. “This will be your job too,” Chatham said. “When you come in in the morning, you make coffee. When you see me come in you make me a cup of tea. You let the tea bag in the cup exactly 35 seconds. Not 34 seconds, not 36 seconds, but 35 seconds and add three-quarters of a packet of sugar.”

Was this guy for real? I couldn’t believe this was the same men I met during my interview. 

Over the next two weeks what I heard and witnessed bordered on the unbelievable. Grown men and women were reduced to tears after being yelled at, screamed at, and called every derogatory name under the sun. Now I also understood why everyone had a private office ... the employees were not allowed to talk to each other, not even in the kitchen or mailroom and no paired visits to the bathroom were allowed. This man ruled his staff like a dictator.

To cut a long story short … I quit after the second week. I put up with difficult managers and directors in the past, but this one took the cake. I put up with his yelling and screaming and calling me names, but when it looked like he was about to strike me, I had enough. 

The reason ... he screamed that there were no water bottles in the meeting room. I pointed out that water bottles are better kept in the fridge, so when someone wants something to drink the bottle is cold. It was the middle of summer, who wants lukewarm water on a hot day? The result ... Chatham's face lost all color, he started shaking and the next moment he screamed and screamed how I dared to talk to him that way. 

The following Monday I contacted a lawyer and related my experiences. “Do you have proof of this abuse?” the lawyer asked. I said that I didn’t. “Then you have a problem,” he said. “If you can’t prove that the lawyer screamed and used abusive language, you don’t have a leg to stand on. I will contact him if you like, but my guess is he will deny everything.”

“The others can't lie when under oath,” I pointed out. “They will have to tell the truth.”

“You want to take this to court?” the lawyer asked. “Before you say yes or no, let me point something out to you. I will need a $1,500 retainer, I charge $300 an hour and a case like this could take two years before it goes to court. Do you have the financial means to see this through?”

I didn’t. I didn’t have proof and I didn’t have money for a court case. So Robert Chatham got away with it. 

This experience started with 'hello' and ended with 'goodbye' and everything in-between was another lesson learned. 

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Halloween decorating ideas for the office

While you can go all out decorating your house for Halloween, you might have to tone it down a bit with Halloween decorating ideas for the office.  After all, the office is a place of business where management meets clients, customers or patients.

That is not to say that you cannot bring a little atmosphere in your office or cubicle.  In fact, a few tasteful ornaments might gain you popularity.

To start off, you might want to decide on a good place to decorate.  This can be a corner of your desk, the top of a filing cabinet, a windowsill, or even some floor space.

To create the right setting, start off with either a black or an orange piece of cardboard.  If you mainly want to use decorations such as ravens, bats or spiders, black is your best choice.  If on the other hand you are thinking of using or pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, or other colorful items, then orange cardboard will be better suited.  Creating contrast is key.

A word of advice though, be sympathetic to your colleagues’ feelings.  If you know of someone who has a phobia for spiders, best not to use them.  You don’t want to give someone heart failure when coming face to face with a lifelike tarantula. 

However, if nobody in your area is afraid of spiders, they make for great decorations.  You can have them sitting on your desk, crawling on walls, dangling from the ceiling, whatever you fancy.

Alternatively you can use witches and scarecrows.  Nobody is likely to go screaming when they see a witch or scarecrow in your office and they make for great, colorful decorations.  Along with witches you can add little details such as cauldrons, poison bottles, broomsticks and apples.

Other Halloween decorations for the office could be a touch of the sinister.  How about some coffins or headstones?  To jazz things up bit you could add a ghost or two. 

Then there are the ever popular vampires.  Whether you work with dolls or pictures, nothing says Halloween like a blood sucking creature.  To give extra character to your display, you could make use of a few bats and goblets filled with some type of red liquid. 

If management doesn’t allow creepy Halloween decorations for the office, you could just stick to pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns.  Providing you have the space, you could have the real thing in your office or cubicle, or you could have pictures or a banner.

If you don’t overdo it, most offices will have no problem with having a few decorations.  Keep it simple, keep it tasteful and be considerate. 

www.connymanero.weebly.com

Unemployment

I received a CNN message recently stating:

Economists say at least 150,000 jobs must be created each month simply to keep pace with the growing population.

Meanwhile, the unemployment rate fell to 8.1% from 8.3%.

Even though this is American news, I think Canada feels much the same.  They talk about job creation and a decrease in unemployment.

Let’s tackle one issues at a time.

Just because the unemployment rate fell from 8.3% to 8.1% doesn’t mean that a number of unemployed people got jobs.  It means that a number of the unemployed lost their benefits. 

I don’t know how it is in the States, but here in Canada when an employee gets laid off, he or she is allocated a certain amount of weeks of unemployment benefits depending on the time he or she worked.  Obviously, the longer a person worked, the more weeks of unemployment he receives.  From what I hear, 42 weeks is the maximum.

Once the allocated weeks are up, the person loses his benefits, in many cases without warning.  Which is why it makes me bloody mad when the government issues proud statements that the unemployment has gone down, it hasn’t, some people are just cut off and left without income.

As for creating jobs ... I can’t quite picture how that works.  Are these jobs created out of thin air?  How does one exactly create a job?  And not just one job mind you, but 150,000 jobs a month.  Please, who do they think they’re fooling?

If an office can run its day to day business with 100 people, they’re not going to employ 110 people.  If a construction site can build a building with 30 people, they’re not going to hire an extra 5.  What are those extra hands going to do?  If extra help is needed, fine, extra people are hired, but businesses are not expanding at such a rate that 150,000 jobs a month can be created.

If anything, lay offs have increased and more and more people are looking for work.  As a temp, I’m feeling the pinch more than ever.

Companies used to call on temps to stand in for absent workers.  That service has decreased.  These days, when an employee is absent, sick or on vacation, his or her duties are divided among other employees.  They are cross trained and over for each other.  Bringing in temps is in many companies a thing of the past. 

It’s all good and well for a politician to stand on a podium and promise to create jobs, but I wonder how that actually works in reality.  Businesses probably think “We don’t need extra help”, while the unemployed shrug their shoulders, roll their eyes and think “Yeah, right”.

Was yesterday national boob day?

My goodness but the ladies were showing off their assets yesterday. Young and old, big and small, perky optimistic and very depressed looking boobs, they were all on show.

Perhaps you think it’s strange that I, as a woman, notice these things. Well, actually, I didn’t, at first. But then I got on the subway train and even though a number of seats were available, a lot of men preferred to stand.

Why were they standing when they could sit down? Where they stretching their legs in preparation of hours of sitting? Were they gallant for future female passengers? No, they weren’t, they were enjoying the view.

Yes, that’s when I noticed it too. Two double D-cup women were sitting down, wearing something that displayed a lot, and I do mean a lot, of cleavage. The men were grouped around these two like flies around a pot of jam.

The women wore office attire, so they were obviously on their way to work. Women like that make me wonder if they know anything about office etiquette. A lot has been said and written about what to wear and what not to wear to work. Surely they know that such low cut tops are not appropriate office wear.

Which makes me wonder about the men these women work with ... can the men concentrate on their jobs with such ‘distractions’?
For their sake I hope those men aren’t engineers (making precision calculations), high rise window washers (from the outside looking in) or operators of band saws (ouch).

In turn I wonder about sexual harassment in the workplace. If some ladies are on the receiving end of glares, stares, brush ups, wolf whistles or something a little less subtle, can you blame the men?

A visit to the vet

Have you ever tried given a cat medication? If you have you know what a battle it can be.

Gabriel has an eye infection and even though some type of human eye medication was recommended to me to treat the condition, I rather played it safe and took him to the vet.

In his carrier, in the cab, he cried all the way there. At home he hardly says a ‘word’ but now he recited a whole dictionary.

At the vet Gabriel turned into a little angel. He didn’t mind being examined and he didn’t protest one little bit when the doctor put the ointment in his eye.

I thought administering the ointment myself was going to be a breeze. Yeah right.

When I tried to put the medication in his eye, he wiggled and squirmed, kicked and slapped me and generally turned into a little lion that wouldn’t be tamed.

He’s supposed to get that medication three times a day for the next seven days. Perhaps the vet should have sent a team of nurses along to help me with this task.

I’ll try again when he’s sleeping. Maybe I’ll have better luck then.