Day 122: The good, the bad and the bloody

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 122: The good, the bad and the bloody

The past 24 hours have been eventful, to say the least.

First, I had a rather bad dream. I know, hearing about other people’s dreams is about as interesting as grating cheese, but this dream of mine was nothing short of extraordinary.

I was bowling at Kennedy Bowl, practicing my game, when an unusual visitor showed up … the queen of England. (Don’t ask me where I come up with this stuff). At some point, the queen was getting a guided tour from Kevin Arsenault who took her behind the lanes. Not in the safe walking area where the ball boys do their work, but on the lanes where the pins are. I threw my ball and missed the queen’s legs by a few inches. She was not impressed.

A few hours later I had an accident while preparing lunch. After moaning for weeks that my potato knife was getting blunt, I bought a new knife in the Dollarstore. Dieter didn’t agree with my purchase, said that you can’t be a good knife for $3. Yeah, well, if this knife wasn’t up to the task he could find me a better one in Canadian Tire, but for now, this Dollarstore knife would have to do.

Today was the first time I used it and … I nicked the tip of my left index finger. Blood everywhere. I rushed to the bathroom to wash my hands with soap and water while yelling at Dieter to bring me a towel. However, when presented with the requested item I didn’t really want to use it as it’s hard to get blood out of a towel. So, I asked for paper towels instead. After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped sufficiently for a band-aid to be applied.

Next up … the Belgium vs. Japan soccer match.

I didn’t watch the match because as mentioned in a previous post, if I watch the game, the Belgians are sure to lose. So, I went down for a nap instead.

I had barely rested my head on the pillow when I heard cursing from the living room. “Did Japan score?” I asked. “Yes,” Dieter said. A while later I heard him snap his laptop shut. This could only mean one thing … Japan had planted another one in Belgium’s goal. This time I didn’t even have to ask, Dieter uttered a frustrated “It’s over.”

I knew that napping was now out of the question. I was too agitated. This had happened time and time again. The Belgians had done well in the qualifying round, they had won all the games in the knock-out round, and now they allowed themselves to be beaten?! I was utterly disgusted with my team.

One way or another I must have drifted off though because I was awoken with a very enthusiastic “WE ARE IN!!!”

I can’t say that I was very surprised as this is typical of the Belgians. They play a relaxed game, passing the ball around without seemingly a care in the world. When Japan scored their first goal, they must have been surprised. When Japan scored their second goal they finally, finally shot into action. The Belgians need a good kick, so to speak, for them to wake up.

And they didn’t disappoint. Not only did they score and score again, in the last four minutes of overtime they scored the third goal making it 3 – 2.

Thank you, Red Devils for nearly giving me a heart attack.

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Are we civilized human beings, or bloodthirsty killers?

Tana C posted a message and a picture on Facebook today, showing off the hunting rifle she just bought.

In light of recent violence and stricter gun laws, I thought this was in poor taste.  Of how many shooting have we heard lately? 

Being anti gun, anti violence and certainly anti hunting, I posted a comment in reply to Tana’s announcement.

The comments that followed were divided.  Some shared my views on gun possession, those in favor of guns clearly sided with Tana.

Tana herself defended her gun ownership and hunting actions by stating “Deer and elk provide food for my family”.

No arguing with that, but … just how much does the deer and elk she’s about to shoot cost her? 

I did a little research and found that the rifle Tana bought (a Savage 7 mm + scope) costs $599.  A box of 20 bullets goes for $20.  A hunting license set her back $219 per acre.  Total cost: $838.

I don’t know about you but $838 puts a lot of food on my table.

That’s not all though.  A hunter needs to wear camouflage and needs a hunting knife.  Let’s estimate that at another $200.

Once the animal is processed it needs to be frozen.  One needs a massive chest freezer to hold that much meat.  Shall we say $300 for that appliance?

Grand total: $1338.

Tana also stated that the animal she kills and eats is hormone free, unlike some of the meat that ends up in the supermarket.

While this might be true, there are other things to consider.  

Veterinarians inspect whether animals are fit for slaughter and once killed the Ministry of Health sends their inspectors to verify that meat is disease free and handled and stored in hygienic conditions.

While the deer that Tana shoots might be hormone free, what condition is he in?  He might be sick, he might have eaten contaminated food or drank polluted water.

Fact is, some people pretend hunting provides food for their families and that wild animals are more healthy, but that just an excuse.  It’s the kill they like.  They like to dress up.  They like going back to basics.  They like picking up a gun.  They like the power it gives them.

People will claim that some states are overcrowded with deer and that hunting is necessary to keep down the numbers.  In that case, the hunting rule not to shoot female deer makes no sense.  If anything, it’s the females that should be shot, because they are the ones reproducing.  If there were more male than female dear, there would be less offspring next year and the year after.

I’m against hunting and I make no secret of it.  I’m against the slaughter of animals too, but there are certain things in life that one just cannot change. 

If gun control ever kicks in, maybe the ban should include hunting rifles too.

Are we civilized human beings, or bloodthirsty killers?

Self defense

Every night before going to bed, I check and double check the locks on the front door.  I was glad I did last night, as around 2:30 a.m. I heard the doorknob being turned.

Despite the fact that I knew both locks were secure, I lay in bed stiff with fright.  Who was that?  What did he want?  If he managed to get in, what could I do? 

The question how would I defend myself stayed with me for some time.

I don’t sleep with a gun, a knife or a baseball bat within reach.  As for the pen being mightier than the sword … I don’t think my Papermate is going to do much damage.

My son has a sword, a Highland design, but it’s not sharpened.  Besides, the thing is so heavy, it takes considerable effort just to lift it,  never mind swing it.

I remembered a friend of mine who, back in South Africa, slept with an ax under her bed.  But axes are so messy and I can’t stand the sight of blood.

So the pen being mightier than the sword might be my best option.  If the burglar has the time, I guess I could write him a story, so boring it would send him packing or lulls him to sleep.

Then again, it might not have been a potential burglar, but simply a drunk or confused soul trying to get home.  I had a similar experience a couple of years ago.

Coming home after a long, hard day at work, I got off the elevator two floors too soon and found myself on the 9^th instead of on the 11^th floor.  I didn’t notice, because the paint on the walls is the same, as is the carpeting on the floor, and the doors to the various units.

Having arrived at the corner unit, I put my key in the lock, but for some reason the key wouldn’t turn.  Strange.  I tried the doorknob, but no luck there either. 

When the door was opened by a strange woman, I thought, “What is she doing in my apartment?”  Then again, this didn’t look like my apartment.

“May I help you?” she said.

I stood there, frowning and gaping at her like a fish out of water.

That’s when I noticed the number on the door – it said 909.  Oops.

So, maybe last night’s visitor was my downstairs or upstairs neighbor, who now has a similar story to tell.