Need a laugh?

Susan Jasper shared a little something from Quotes Etc. this morning.  What I read made me laugh and shake my head in wonder. 

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. 
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!! 
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...

Mickey a.k.a. Lassie

Earlier today I related the story of Chanel’s ‘disappearance’ and now the spotlight turns to Mickey.

Mickey, or shall I say ... 'Lassie’.

You remember Lassie, don’t you? The beautiful, smart Collie, who by barking, let his owners know that there was some kind of emergency. What an amazing dog that was. But, what Mickey did today is nothing short of amazing too.

Nothing stirred, everything was quiet and yet suddenly around 2:00 p.m. Mickey, who had been sleeping on top of the wall unit, got up, jumped on the floor and ran – not walked, but ran – to Dieter’s bedroom.

Within seconds he was back in the living room, looked at me and meowed. Not a ‘Hello’ meow, but a meow that demanded attention.

“What’s the matter boy?” I asked.

When Mickey saw that he had my attention he went back to Dieter’s room. I followed.

What I saw could have turned into a catastrophe, had it not been for Mickey’s sharp hearing and quick response. On the floor was Charlie, trapped in a box underneath Dieter’s desk.

Charlie must have jumped in that box (you know what cats and boxes are like), the box must have tipped over and the way the box was positioned, Charlie couldn’t get out.

Whether it was Charlie who signaled a 911 distress call, or Mickey who just picked up Charlie’s vibe that something was wrong, I don’t know, but thanks to Mickey, Charlie was saved. What a smart kitty cat.