Day 20: The tortoise and the bunny

 Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 20: The tortoise and the bunny

This morning I received an email from a friend who bought 160-gallon tank for her turtle, Penny. This reminded me of a time when, back in South Africa, I had neighbors who had a tortoise.

This tortoise, Alexander, would lazily crawl around the garden, sit by the gate watching traffic, or sit for hours in the sun.

Every now and then though, Alexander would get mischievous and park himself on the driveway to the house. When my neighbors, Paul and Linda, came home they wouldn’t be able to drive the car inside the garage because Alexander was blocking the way.

Picking Alexander up and moving him was not an option as he weight in the region of 50 kg (110 lbs) and Paul couldn’t really get a good grip on him. So the only option was to wait until Alexander moved or tempt him with something to make him move.

My son, Dieter, a small boy in the days was eager to meet the tortoise but Paul and Linda were not keen on letting Dieter close to their pet. Even though tortoises are friendly, and recognize their owners, there was no telling what Alexander would do when faced with a strange child.

So we took Dieter to the Bunny and Tortoise Park in Benoni. This park is home to a great number of big tortoises who are used to humans. Small children are even allowed to sit on them.

When we arrived at the park though, Dieter didn’t exactly take a shine to the tortoises, even seemed a little afraid of them. Instead the bunnies had his undivided attention. 

He looked at them, he wanted to catch one, but the bunnies weren’t keen on being caught. They saw him coming and hopped away.

Not getting anywhere in his catching endeavors he turned to mom and dad and pleaded “Can you catch me one?”

We didn’t think we would do much better than him but okay, we would give it a shot. While my ex-husband chased a small black bunny, I went in hot pursuit of a brown one. The both of us walked, ran and even plunged onto the ground a few times in an effort to catch a bunny, but the little buggers were faster than we were.

Tired, dusty and more than a little sore from hitting the ground several times, I eventually, eventually caught the brown bunny and handed it to Dieter. He looked down on the bunny and said, “I actually wanted a white one.” 

Well, thought luck, it had taken me the best part of half an hour to catch the brown one and it would have to do.

If he had asked to hold a small tortoise I gladly would have gotten him one, but catching another bunny … no thank you, those little buggers were way too fast.

The price is ... wrong

Quite a few of us are familiar with “The Price is Right”, a TV show where contestants guess the price of various items, ranging from a car to a bottle of shampoo.

Everyone who watches the show invariably guesses along with the contestants. Some are quite good at it while others don’t seem to have a clue about retail. I’m one of those people.

With little things, such as groceries I’m pretty good with guessing prices, but where it comes to bigger items such as lawn mowers, cars, and real estate, I’m way, way off.

My latest miscalculation involves a window. Not an ordinary window, but a fake one. Let me explain …

I recently found myself in the basement of a building. Even though I was several feet underground, I saw windows everywhere, displaying lifelike images of a sun-drenched forest, a babbling brook, and a beautiful coastline. Since I was in the heart of Toronto, all of those scenes were quite impossible. But it was a nice idea to make the basement less claustrophobic.

Not only did the windows display clear images, they were accompanied by birdsong. Throughout the basement, I heard what I thought were finches, chickadees, canaries, nightingales and a few birds I couldn’t identify.

I was so smitten with the idea that I asked for the name of the manufacturer of these windows, and once home I looked up the website. Since no prices were listed, I contacted the seller by email.

“This won’t come cheap,” Dieter warned me. Yeah well, maybe not, but a window like this would look great in my bedroom and kitchen. Not only would the window make for a great look but the birdsong would help me fall asleep. If such a window cost $200 or $300 it would be worth it.

When the seller emailed me back the next day my dreams were crushed and I was once again reminded just how bad I am with guessing the cost of items. The window did not cost a few hundred dollars but … (are you sitting down?) $13,000. Needless to say that my idea of this beautiful window went out the window.

I’m not the only one bad at guessing prices. Where it comes to my son, the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.

He recently had his heart set on turtles, miniature aquarium turtles. He guessed these little critters to be $10 or $20 each.

Before rushing out to buy these aquarium turtles he went online to research their ideal habitat. He would need an aquarium filled with a little water, some dry land, rocks, moss, and a special light to keep the turtles warm. All of this was doable, the miniature turtles, however, were not.

Dieter has grossly underestimated their cost. When he visited a pet store, he found out that these turtles cost $240 each. So that idea went out the window too.

Needless to say, neither of us are likely to apply to be a contestant on “The Price is Right”.