Day 50: Our own private 'pool'

Between You, Me and the Lamp Post

Day 50: Our own private 'pool'

Yesterday, Dieter and I became the proud owners of a swimming pool. We already have a pool in our condo building, but now we had a private pool in our home, more specifically, in the bathroom. I’ll bet you want to know more about that ...

It all started when the toilet in the bathroom started acting up. Water still filled the tank, but it took longer and longer as the water came slower and slower. Sometimes we had to wait a whole ten minutes for the tank to fill. Dieter investigated the situation and was going to repair it.

He went to Canadian Tire where he bought a filler. While I did the dishes he set off for the bathroom armed with pliers.

Suddenly I heard a scream, followed by “Maaaaaaaa!” Not knowing what happened, but fearing some kind of personal accident I sprinted to the bathroom where I found Dieter on his knees in front of a tap that gushed water all over the place. 

“A towel, a towel, quickly!” he commanded. 

He pushed the towel I gave him against the tap, but within seconds it got soaked. Fearing that the water might come into the corridor I grabbed a bath towel, thus trying to block the flow. 

Since there was nothing really I could do I made myself scarce. 

In due time Dieter came into the kitchen ... soaked from head to toe. He asked me to follow him to the bathroom. Upon arrival, he flushed the toilet and it appeared to be fixed. Unfortunately, we now had our own private pool in the bathroom or at least a pond where we could keep koi.

While I finished the dishes he returned to the bathroom to mop up, dry himself off and have a change of clothing.

While all this was happening I had an accident of my own. While doing the dishes the rim of a drinking glass broke in the water. Having thrown away the glass I noticed that there was a gash in the index finger of the yellow rubber gloves I was wearing. Moments later I felt something sticky ... blood. The glass had cut through the rubber gloves into my finger. I consider myself lucky, without those rubber gloves it would have been a lot worse.

All the finger needed was a band-aid, as for our own private pool ... it’s no more.

Hanging on or letting go

I watched a presentation the other day entitled ‘How heavy is your glass of water?’ The presentation went as follows:

A psychologist hosted a well-attended workshop about stress management. At one point, she raised a glass of water. The audience assumed that she would ask them the well-known question: ‘Is the glass half full or half empty?’ Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ The audience called out a range of numbers from 8 ounces to 20 ounces. They were eager to discover why they were asked this question. But to their surprise, the psychologist responded ‘The weight of the glass does not matter. What does, however, is how long you hold it. If I hold the glass for one minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. Your stresses and worries in life are like this glass of water. If you think about them for a while, nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer, and they begin to hurt. But if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed and incapable of doing anything. It’s important to let go of your stresses, your fears, and worries. Early in the evening, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them into the night. Always remember to put that glass down and give yourself a rest.’

When I read stuff like this, I can help but roll my eyes and wonder what people who have lost a parent, a spouse, a child or a pet would say to this psychologist. My guess is that they would say her theory is beautiful but naïve.

I’m sure that a great number of people would like nothing better than to put their burdens down, but it’s not that easy. Any kind of burden is not like a glass of water that you can put down, you carry it with you all the time. Work, sports, and entertainment might give you a break from time to time, but eventually, the burdens come back.

The same for people who have medical problems and had tests done. You tell those people to stop worrying and they might sneer and say ‘That’s easier said than done.’

And what about people who have experienced trauma. I’ll bet it’s not as easy to just forget what they have seen, heard, and experienced. During the day they might find distractions, but the nights … the nights are the worst.

If just forgetting was this easy, people would not be on a variety of medications, wouldn’t be in therapy or wouldn’t seek the company of a self-help group.

Psychologists … most of them don’t have a clue about real life. They don’t seem to know that experiences lead to memories and we might not be able to ever escape from them.

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