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Friday, September 30, 2016

Moments of confusion

We’ve all known moments of confusion. Times when we go to the kitchen or bedroom to get something, and don’t remember why we went there in the first place. Or looking for reading glasses while wearing them. But here at the house of Manero, confusion takes on a whole new meaning.

The other day I send Dieter to the store for groceries. Since there were quite a few items I urged him to write them down. Dieter whipped out his cell phone, called up the notes app, and declared himself ready. We needed steak, veggies, cat food, bathroom tissue, ice cream, dishwashing liquid, and bread.

When he came home I unpacked the bag. I found everything I asked for, except for dishwashing liquid. “How could you forget?” I asked. “You wrote everything down.”
Yeah well, the long and the short of it was … he hadn’t looked at his phone.

He offered to go back to the store, but no, the dishwashing liquid could wait a day. I would turn the bottle upside down and squeeze out whatever was still in there.

The next day Dieter went back to the store. This time, he didn’t need to write anything down as the only item needed was dishwashing liquid. 

He came home with a bag, packed with stuff.
“What did you all bring?” I asked.
“I found quite a few things on special,” he said. 

Out of the bag came a bag of grapes, a tray of strawberries, a tray of chicken breasts and a bag of cat nibbles. 

“And the dishwashing liquid?” I asked.

Oh shoot, that he’d forgotten.

Something else Dieter frequently forgets is to replace the plastic bag in the kitchen waste holder. When I see the bag is full, I remove it, knot it up and drape another plastic bag over the holder. When Dieter sees that the bag is full, he removes it and knots it up, but neglects to replace the old bag with a new one. Now you know what I’m going to say … the next time something needs to be thrown away, I go to the kitchen, open the waste holder and … yes, you guessed it, whatever was in my hand is now on the floor.

You might say … “Don’t you see that there isn’t a bag in the holder?” and the answer is … no, I’m so used to there being a bag there that I don’t pay attention.

But speaking of paying attention …

Last Sunday we were going to have chicken with potatoes, along with a salad of baby spinach and tomatoes. I peeled the potatoes and placed them in cold water.

Next, I washed the spinach and the tomatoes and drizzled them with olive oil and lemon juice.

About 45 minutes later Dieter asked if the chicken was almost ready. The plan was that while I took care of the finishing touches, he would set the table.

Chicken? … Chicken! I had clean forgotten about the chicken. Not only was it not almost ready, I hadn’t even placed it in the oven yet!

So you see, we’re both scatter brains. Put the two of us together and … well, you have a recipe for disaster. 

Perhaps our biggest blunder happened a few years ago in downtown Toronto.

We were walking along King Street when a man stopped us to ask for directions. “Excuse me,” he said, “can you tell me where Bay Street is?” And that’s when it happened … Dieter pointed to the left, while I pointed to the right. The man looked at us with a frown above narrowed eyes. He didn’t have to say anything, I knew what he was thinking … These two can’t be trusted.

I’m rather good at giving directions, but Dieter is terrible. I’ve heard him on occasion and honestly … some of the people he was trying to help might have ended up in Alaska.

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