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Monday, January 21, 2013

Facebook updates



There are some people that I well and truly hate.  Esmee D is one of them.  She assigned herself celebrity status and tortures Facebook users with constant updates on her daily life.  Who is Esmee D?  Who knows!  As far as I can tell, she’s some two bit European ‘singer’.

Some of her updates are …

·       I’m awake, good morning Facebook
·       I’m having breakfast
·       Shall I go out or stay in?

Seriously, who gives a @#$%?

On numerous occasions she feels it necessary to show off pictures of herself or post a video of her ‘singing’.  But …

·       Can she wash and comb her hair first (or is she auditioning for the role of The Bride of Frankenstein?)
·       Before going on camera, can she check her makeup (the girl looks like she’s in the final stages of some deadly disease)
·       When being photographed in an outfit, can she check that it fits. 
·       And when showing off her sandals, can she get a pedicure first.

It’s not only Esmee D who gets on my nerves, other people are doing a good job too.  They write updates such as …

·       I’m getting so much spam on my blog (followed by mention of blog … does he want more?)
·       I don’t know what to write about (then don’t)
·       Is it there, their, or they’re?  (consult a thesaurus)
·       My cat has kittens, again (ever heard of spaying/neutering?)

Then there are these pointless updates

·       Happy birthday dad (turns out dad has been dead for 32 years)
·       My baby is crying (maybe you should go and see why he’s crying)
·       The dog has ran away (well go after him or at least look for him)
·       It’s so cold today (it is winter you know)
·       My blood pressure is 120/78 (sigh)
·       I’m pregnant and all I eat are hotdogs (seriously?)
·       I wrote a book about my co-dependencies and multiple marriages (the writer is only 22 and she has multiple marriages!)

Religious updates

·       God wants to be your friend (God is on Facebook now?)
·       ‘Like’ if your heart belongs to Jesus (you can work this one out for yourself)
·       God will provide (He provided some with billions of dollars while others have to scrape to make rent)

Where is the time that people kept diaries to share their lives with and it was considered inappropriate to read their musings?  Do some people, like Esmee D, really think their lives are that interesting that they have to share their every waking moment with the rest of the world?

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