Day 50: Why shacking up before you get married is a good idea

My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 50: Why shacking up before you get married is a good idea

Couples are more reluctant than ever about getting married.  Whether they are crazy in love or just seem right for each other, saying those wedding vows that will bind them to each other for life is a risk fewer couples are willing to take.  Couples offer the following reasons for why shacking up before you get married is a good idea.

You don’t really know someone until you live with them

Dating someone a few times a week with an occasional sleep-over may give you an idea of their personality, but it doesn’t show you what they are like on a day to day basis.  

Little things make a difference

When you live with someone 24/7, you get to experience firsthand how the person handles stress, disappointment, anger, and life in general.  For some those little flaws might be endearing, while for others they could become major obstacles.

Avoid taking each other for granted

Others prefer shacking up before marriage because it keeps both partners on their toes.  Once married a lot of men and women feel they have it made and overnight develop a careless attitude. They relax to the point that their partner no longer recognizes the person they dated. They may quit their job, put on weight, or generally no longer take care of themselves. By living together, especially in the early stages, there is always the chance of the other calling it quits. That percentage of danger keeps the relationship fresher.

Children and family in the mix

If one or both partners have children, shacking up before you get married is a good idea. The adults may love each other, but can they tolerate each other’s offspring? It worked for the Brady bunch, but it may not work for you if the kids don’t get along which, in turn, puts stress on your relationship.

The same could apply to extended family members.  You and your partner may get along perfectly, but inconsiderate parents and difficult siblings could sour the deal. 

Sexual compatibility

You might love each other dearly, but are you sexually compatible? While you may have tested the waters already, dating sex and relationship sex are two different things. Your partner’s needs may be different from yours over the long haul or you may discover some unusual requests which you may or may not like. 

Maintaining a healthy and compatible sex life over the long-term becomes a challenge for all couples. Shacking up before you get married can be a good barometer of how your sex life will mature if you remain together.

Financial compatibility

Why shacking up before you get married is a good idea also applies to whether or not the couple is financially compatible. She may love to shop and be addicted to shoe shopping, while he may be hardcore thrifty. When you live with someone it becomes more difficult for them to hide their money habits.

Lower exit costs if the relationship fails

Probably the biggest reason why shaking up before you get married is so popular is because if the relationship doesn’t work out, no divorce is needed. With no lawyers or alimony in the mix, the couple can walk away with a clean slate without spilling as much financial or emotional blood that usually happens during a divorce. 

Most people don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive first. Before making a legal and spiritual commitment to another person, many couples today are opting to go slow and take that all-important test drive first.

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The Couple Next Door – Shari Lapena

I was quite surprised to see that Shari Lapena worked as a lawyer and an English teacher and wrote two award-winning literary novels.

‘The Couple Next Door’ her suspense debut is written in a strange childlike voice. I got the feeling that the story was written by a 16-year-old. 

The characters aren’t very sympathetic. Anne was once a beautiful, smart woman who used to work in an art gallery but who let her figure and her career go down the drain after she had a baby.

In a time when women juggle a successful career and motherhood, this is not exactly a woman role model. Does Lapena send the subtle message that a woman’s place is in the home, taking care of her child? Is she pointing an accusing finger at women who keep their identity? Has she never heard of a gym and home exercises?

Not only that, Anne suffers from postpartum depression and has a history of violence. Patches in time she later on has no recollection of.

Her husband Marco is equally unsympathetic. When Anne met Marco she was a society girl and he was a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Marrying into money opened doors and possibilities for him, but he’s basically a loser who doesn’t have a head for business. All he has going for him are his looks and his in-laws money. Is it any wonder that Anne’s parents dislike him?

When the couple leaves their three-month-old baby at home while they attend a dinner party next door, more than one woman will cringe at the irresponsibility of it. What parents in their right mind leave a baby alone at home? When the baby is kidnapped parents the world over might think … serves them right.

Of course, if the baby hadn’t been left alone, there wouldn’t be a story. The couple would come home after the dinner party, find the baby sleeping in her cot, and all would be well. As it is, the baby is gone, the parents are frantic and the police gets involved.

Anyone with half a brain has this story almost immediately figured out. The reader might not know the details but knows who the kidnapper is and why.

All in all, as with so many books that were introduced with a great hype, I found the story disappointing.

I gave the book a three-star rating because I didn’t exactly hate it, but I didn’t love it either. It was all a bit too simple and childlike written.

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Proposing marriage on Valentine's Day.

Proposing marriage on Valentine’s Day is a decision men might come to regret.  Whether it’s sweet or sappy is beside the point, once the question ‘Will you marry me?’ is out there, there is no going back.

On Valentine’s Day we are all a little emotionally charged.  It is the day of love, and anyone in a relationship joins in.  It is the perfect day to show our sweetheart that we love her.  

Or is it?

Continue reading at: 

http://connymanero.weebly.com/blog/proposing-marriage-on-valentines-day

10 Valentine gift ideas you can make yourself

When Valentine’s Day comes around, it’s tradition for the guys to surprise their girlfriend with a gift.  Some guys want to do more than merely buy their girlfriend a little something though, they want to make the gift extra special by making it themselves.  Other guys may want to give their sweetheart the moon and the stars, but find themselves a little strapped for cash and see themselves forced to make something for their girlfriend with their own two hands.  Regardless of which category you fall into, the following are ten Valentine’s Day gifts you can make for your girlfriend.

Continue reading at:

http://connymanero.weebly.com/blog/10-valentine-gift-ideas-you-can-make-yourself