I’m considering buying a
bread maker. I do say “considering”
though, because I have some serious reservations.
I read the reviews of a
particular bread maker online, and the opinions on the quality and performance of the
machine varied. One person was thrilled
with her bread maker, the other would have just as soon thrown it out the
window. One said she had success from the
first try, the other had to throw the first four loafs she made in the bin.
What worried me the most
was that one person said “you have to follow the instructions to the letter and
use machine yeast”, while another said “machine yeast doesn’t work, you have to
use dry yeast”. Well, what is it? Machine yeast or dry yeast?
Another reason why I’m
having reservations about the purchase of a bread maker is because … I’m not
all that good in the kitchen.
Correction, I consider myself a good cook, but I can’t bake to save my
life.
I remember the day like
it was yesterday. My son Dieter had his
6th birthday coming up and I was going to make cupcakes for his
party. I got all the ingredients
together, mixed the dough, scooped bits of it in the paper cups and placed the
lot in the oven.
“Keep an eye on them
will you Dieter,” I said, “I’m quickly gonna go and make the beds.”
It didn’t take long
before he called “Mom! The cupcakes are
foaming.”
I stuck my head out of one of
the bedrooms and said, “You mean they are rising? They’re supposed to do that.”
A short while later
Dieter called again.
“Mom, those cupcakes are rising really high.”
“How high?” I called back.
“I don’t know,” he said, appearing in the bedroom doorway. “The oven looks like a washing machine. All foamy.”
“Mom, those cupcakes are rising really high.”
“How high?” I called back.
“I don’t know,” he said, appearing in the bedroom doorway. “The oven looks like a washing machine. All foamy.”
Foamy? That didn’t sound normal.
When I went to take a
look I saw right away that something had gone horribly wrong. The whole oven was full of foaming dough and it was forcing its way out through the cracks.
To cut a long story short, instead of normal flour I had used self-rising flour with a good dose of yeast. It took me ages to
clean the oven and Dieter got a store bought cake for his birthday.
Not one to give up
easily, I decided to try my hand at cookies.
Maybe that would work better than cupcakes. I followed the instructions of the cookbook
and paid attention to using the correct flour this time.
When the time came to
eating the cookies, Dieter took a bite and pulled a face.
“What?” I asked.
“They’re kind a hard,” he said.
I tried one too and … oh my goodness, this wasn’t a cookie, this was a stone and so were the others.
“What?” I asked.
“They’re kind a hard,” he said.
I tried one too and … oh my goodness, this wasn’t a cookie, this was a stone and so were the others.
Instead of throwing them
in the bin, I decided to feed them to the birds. Imagine my surprise when a couple of pigeons
showed up, briefly pecked at the “cookies” and took off again.
Oh well, I could always
feed them to the ducks.
“Are you sure about that mom,” Dieter said. “The ducks might sink.”
“Are you sure about that mom,” Dieter said. “The ducks might sink.”
I believe that was the
last time I ever baked anything.
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