Me ... a manager!

Today I got a call from Investors Group.  They offered me the position of investor manager.  

To say that I was surprised is putting it mildly.  Flabbergasted, more likely.  Me … a manager … dealing with investors?!  How on earth did they think me qualified for a manager position?

For most of my life I have been an assistant.  Whether it be an executive, administrative or legal assistant, assistant always was the operative word.

Ever since I was laid off in October 2011, I’ve been looking for work.  Whether it be full-time or temporary.  I’ve sent out resumes, registered with employment agencies, but so far no luck.

With over fifteen years of experience, some positions I applied for I was qualified, for some I was over qualified.  For some I got invited for an interview, but I have yet to hear the words "Congratulations, you're hired".

So, you can imagine my surprise when the position of investor manager was thrown at me.  A position I am absolutely not qualified for as I don’t have a day’s experience.

When I asked what the position entailed the woman who called me explained that I would be attracting investors and looking after their portfolio. 

To me, attracting investors translates into bothering people, hassling them to invest in the company.  As for looking after their portfolio … I’m at a complete loss there.  I wouldn’t be comfortable looking after other people’s money, I can barely keep track of my own.  As for investing … not a fan of that.  I prefer a safe savings account.  

My guess is, the position of investor manager is a scam.  No self-respecting company is going to approach someone like me, without a day of experience, and offer her the position of manager.  Something stinks, stinks up to high heaven. 

I wonder about other people though.  How many more out of work people did Investors Group approach?  What is their background?  Receptionists, data entry clerks, hair stylists, sales staff … all offered the position of manager.

I equally wonder about the people those "managers" approach, people with money.  What would they say if they knew they were dealing with unqualified staff?

Would you trust a data entry clerk to look after your $100,000 portfolio?  I wouldn’t.  I would want someone who knows what he’s doing.  Someone with a university degree and a few years experience.

Investor manager indeed.  If I didn’t smell a rat on this one, I would be ROTFLMAO.

When did we become a bunch of penny pinchers?

Are you too getting just a little sick and tired of all the advice about how to save money?  “How to save money when grocery shopping” ... “How so save money on clothes” … “How to save money on electricity” … When did we all become such a bunch of penny pinchers?

Thank goodness for Christmas.  Apparently Americans responded to all those articles about how to spend less with a big fat “Stick it where the sun don’t shine” and let their dollars roll.  ComScore, a leader in measuring the spending habits of Americans, reported that a whopping $35.3 billion was spend online, marking a 15% increase to last year.

The writers of the “How to save on …” will probably tut tut about this figure.  I applaud it.  This kind of spending will generate a need for more merchandise, resulting in more jobs.  It’s a shame Christmas comes around only once a year.  With that kind of spending, our economy would be back on its feet in no time.

Unfortunately that is not the case and more and more jobs are lost on a daily basis.  Statistics tells us that the unemployment rate is down by 8,5%.  Baloney, the unemployment rate may be down, but it’s not because all those people found jobs. 

Undoubtedly some will have found employment, but I dare say that the rest of those 8,5% simply lost their unemployment benefits.  I should know, I’m one of them.

I received no warning that my allocated weeks were nearly up, I received no notice that I had nearly reached the end of the line.  My benefits were canceled from one day to another.

I suspect that a mistake was made, so I went to the unemployment offices, but was politely sent packing.  I tried contacting them by phone by got the message “Our call volume is high.  Please try again later.  Have a nice day.”

(To be continued)

A fresh start

Happy New Year!  Two down, three hundred and six three days to go.  What does 2012 have in store for us?

I’m not a bit sorry to see the back of 2011.  Even though I was wished a happy New Year on several occasions, it wasn’t a happy year at all.

In April I lost my job.  In August I lost my dad.  In December I lost one of my cats. 

I often wonder why people wish each other a happy New Year.  It’s never a happy year, is it?  Not when so much can go wrong.  People get sick, have accidents, or suffer losses, whether it’s family, friends, relationships, jobs, valuables or money.

Then again, for others 2012 will be a happy year.  They may start a relationship, find a job or hit the jackpot.  At the start of a new year everything seems possible and everyone has such high hopes.

There will be resolutions.  Plans to lose weight, exercise more, live healthier, go back to school, travel, write that novel or publish that manuscript.  January means a fresh start. 

With such good will at the start of something new, why do we wish each other a happy New Year and not a happy month, a happy week, or even a happy day?

Putting up the Christmas tree

Last night was that time of the year again …time to put up the Christmas tree.

First order of business, retrieving the tree from the storage room.  Of course the box was buried all the way in the back, under a ton of other stuff.  While trying to get to the boxed tree, we found – among other things – a box.  "Oh here are the Halloween decorations."

Another complication, while trying to get the tree out of the room, was juggling a few cats who wanted to get into the room.  “Move Mickey!”
"No Gabriel, you can’t go in there!”
“Out of the way Charlotte!”  Their ears were apparently on their backsides, but eventually they joined Charlie and Chanel who were keeping an eye on things from a distance.

When the tree was assembled phase one could start … opening all the tree branches.  Don’t ask me how long it took, but it was a prickly, dusty affair accompanied by several sneezes.  Next year, before putting the tree away, I’ll put him on the balcony for a while so the wind can blow him out.

Now for the lights.  The plug was plugged in and … oh oh, while the top section and the bottom section lit up with white LAD lights, the middle section did not.  Fortunately there were some spare lights. 
“You’re gonna have to go through them, one by one, and see where the faulty one is,” I said to Dieter.  He responded with “Say what?”
Fifteen minutes later the middle section of the tree lit up.  I’ll spare you the coversation Dieter had with the lights.

Next up, a red ribbon.  We can’t use tinsel or angel hair for the tree on account of the cats.  They grab it and chew it.  So, to prevent an emergency visit to the vet’s office we had to come up with an alternative.  Last year we used pearls, but that wasn’t quite the success I thought it was going to be.  So, this year we would try a ribbon.  It was rather nice until Charlotte came along, carefully reached out with a white paw and made a “little” adjustment.  “Charlotte, don’t do that.  Just look, don’t touch!”

Finally, the decorations.  The theme … red and gold.  Small balls on top, bigger balls in the middle, even bigger balls on the bottom.  A ball here, a star there, some tear drops, some birds … yep, that looked nice.  “Charlotte, don’t touch!  I said just look.”  “Gabriel!  Where’re you’re going with that ball?  Drop it.  Drop it!  Don’t do that!”

Now for the angel on top.  Where is the angel?  Must be in one of the boxes with other decorations.  Oh I’ll look for the angel tomorrow.

A burglary

Every now and then we find ourselves with nothing to write about.  There’s nothing on the news, nothing’s happening in sports, our friends are of no inspiration, while our own lives are about as interesting as a slice of white bread.  

And then there are times that something happens that turns our quiet, peaceful little world on its ear.  We are shaken and rattled and forced to rethink our safety.  I certainly did when I noticed no less than four police cars outside the condo building where I live.  It’s not unusual to see one police car, but four of them!

Inside the building I saw three policemen and one woman examining the lobby of the building.  They were dusting walls and door frames for fingerprints, taking pictures here and there, even photographing the security cameras.  What had happened?  Obviously something serious or the situation wouldn’t require four police cars.  It was a bit like a scene of CSI, only with less attractive people.  I didn't dare to ask them what was going on because I could guess the response ... "Just move along ma'am, nothing to see here."

This morning though my curiosity (and concern) got the better of me and I phoned the management office to get the details of what happened yesterday.  Apparently there was a break-in in one of the condos.  No idea where though as no details were given.

A break-in in a house is bad enough, but in a condo … how is such a thing even possible?  There are so many neighbors around and it’s not like the thieves can enter through a window (unless on the ground floor).

Speaking from experience, a break-in is horrible.  We had our house broken into in South Africa.  In addition to robbing the place, the thieves had organized a bit of a party.  They had drank all the liquir, eaten all the cookies, and left one heck of a mess before making off with anything they could carry. 

Other than taking electrical appliances, they took leather jackets, bed linen (not the used stuff, the linen still in plastic), table clothes (the ones I kept for a special occasion) and a number of other items. 

For a while nobody will feel safe in this building, wondering if the thieves will be back and who will be next. 

When is it time to give up

It has been said that everyone has a story in them.  Some have nodded and thought “That’s possible”, while the more intrepid souls reached for pen and paper, or fired up their computer, and started writing. 

After the first paragraph or the first page, some came to the conclusion that telling their life story was more challenging than expected and gave up.  Others diligently wrote page after page until they had created a novella or a whole novel.  It had taken weeks, months or in some cases even years to complete their life’s work.  Now what?

Now that the manuscript is finished they want to share their story with the world.  After all, what good is writing something if nobody gets to read it?

They grew ambitious and contacted a few publishers only to be disappointed by the message “No unsolicited manuscripts accepted”.  Research told them that in order to get a manuscript published a writer needs a literary agent.  This, however, is easier said than done.  Even though there are hundreds of literary agents, getting the attention of one is as difficult as climbing Mount Everest.  It can be done, but only a few succeed.

When the first rejection arrives, the writer is disappointed but not discouraged.  After all, everyone gets rejections, right?  From what he heard even now famous authors had a few rejections in their time.  He remembers the saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.  So he does, again and again and again.

But when he receives rejection after rejection after rejection until he can wallpaper his office with the negative feedback, when does he start thinking of giving up?

Perhaps in that moment he remembers the cartoon of a frog being stuck in the beak of a stork, the frog’s front paws around the stork’s neck and the caption “Never give up!”  It’s funny and in a way encouraging, but how true is it?  Should we never give up, or is there a time that we should put down our pens, switch off our computers, burn the manuscript and think “Enough is enough”.